Chapter Six

I woke to white light, the smell of medicinal herbs, and a monitor beeping beside the bed.

An older healer leaned over me.

“Stay still,” he said. He checked my pupils, then adjusted the blanket. “You've damaged your spine and broken three ribs. Your healing instinct protected your heart. They brought you in quickly enough for us to do the rest.”

I tried to move my hand. Pain caught in my chest.

“You could have lost the use of your legs,” he continued. “Or your ability to shift. You've been very lucky.”

I stared at the ceiling. I remembered Ronan turning away with Vanessa in his arms. The children had gone with him. None of them had waited to see whether I would come out too.

There was pain in my ribs, my back, my forehead. But the bond was gone. Beneath the injuries, the familiar pull toward him had stopped.

I didn't cry. I lay still and listened to the monitor until the healer finished checking me.

Three days later, my own healing and the infirmary's treatment had helped me regain some strength. I could sit up with support, though my chest was bandaged and a brace held my back.

Ronan sent the Beta steward to collect me. Before I left, Ronan came to the treatment room himself.

He stood in the doorway for a long time, looking at the bandages.

“Vanessa has to lead the moon dance,” he said at last. “And the other ceremonies. We couldn't risk her leg.”

I looked up at him.

“So it had to be me?”

“You're not needed for those duties. An ordinary pack member losing some mobility wouldn't cost the pack as much.”

He said it as though we were discussing where to assign a worker, not whether I would ever walk again.

“Ronan. If I'd died in there, would you have cared?”

His brow tightened. He looked away.

“There's no point in asking that.” He took a black card from his wallet and laid it on the bedside table. “Consider this compensation. You'll be provided for. Stay out on the edge of the territory and don't cause trouble. Your service as Luna won't be forgotten.”

I looked at the card.

An outlying house. A title that meant nothing. Instructions to be quiet.

I had already died that way once.

A laugh escaped me. Ronan's expression grew colder, but I was no longer concerned with correcting whatever he thought of it.

I wanted work of my own again. I wanted to speak without being told I was causing trouble. If someone chose to stay with me, I wanted that choice to mean something.

“Ronan, I don't—”

He lifted a hand to silence me. His attention shifted, the look that meant he was receiving a mind link.

I couldn't hear it. There was no bond left to carry his private words to me.

But I knew the softened expression that followed.

“Yes, Vanessa,” he said aloud. “I remember. Caleb's first solo hunt. I'll meet you and the cubs at the hunting grounds.”

Then he turned back to me.

“I have pack business. The driver is outside. He'll take you to your new place.”

He left before I could finish.

I sat with my hands folded over the blanket, listening to his footsteps fade. I'd been about to tell him our bond was broken and I no longer wanted him. He hadn't stayed long enough to hear it.

That didn't stop it from being true. The formal confirmation of the severance would reach the pack soon enough.

I pressed the healer's call button.

When he returned, I asked him to help me arrange for my belongings to be sent to the airport outside the territory.

“The airport?” he repeated.

“Yes. Please.”

I didn't ask him to carry a message to Ronan. There was nothing left I needed Ronan to hear before I could act.

An hour later, I had blocked the scent markers he could use to follow me. I put the black card in the treatment-room drawer and closed it. I had savings of my own. They would have to be enough.

I left without taking the car Ronan had sent.

On the plane, I eased myself into the seat, careful of the brace. Through the window, the mountains around his territory caught the setting sun. The manor grew smaller as we climbed.

For the first time since I'd awakened at twenty-seven, I wasn't counting the hours until the ceremony or wondering what my children would say next.

I could decide where I would sleep tomorrow.

I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes. I was still hurting, and I didn't know yet what my life would look like. But it would not be spent waiting in that house.