Chapter 173
I couldn’t go far. The whole area was blocked in by jeeps, the large stone wall, and the barrier that had been erected around the area. It was ridiculous that I couldn’t even find a place to cry alone in peace.
“Ah,” Cillian’s voice cut through the air. “I was wondering who it was…”
I scowled at him. “Go away.”
He cocked an eyebrow at me then turned back. “I think Candido and Estella are headed back to Lunae’s Circle. Are you staying here?”
I grit my teeth. “Maybe I should.”
Cillian walked and sat beside me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said. “Go away.”
Cillian shrugged and stood. “Fine. I’ll leave you to your crying.”
I turned on him. “You’re just going to leave?”
“If you were a child, I would probably push until you caved. Maybe bribed you with candy. I hear you have a thing for chocolate.”
Candido would give me chocolate when I was in a bad mood. He’d stay with me until I talked to him or felt better.
“But you’re twenty and fully capable of making your own decisions, emotional and not,” Cillian said and shrugged again. “I believe to stay and go against your spoken wishes would be harassment.”
He turned, pushing his way through the brush.
“Wait,” I said. He stopped and turned. “I… Are they really going?”
Cillian nodded. “We’re packing up. The mission wasn’t as great of a success as we’d hoped, but we’ve done all we can. Are you staying on this side of the divide?”
“Is Candido really going with Estella?”
He turned back, paused, and turned back to me. “They just pulled off.”
I jumped to my feet unable to believe it. I pushed past him looking for him, but I didn’t see him, Estella, or the jeep I’d seen him on earlier.
He’d left me.
He hadn’t even looked for me.
“How… could he just…” I sniffled, covering my face. “I thought he loved me…”
“Come on,” Cillian said gently. “You can ride back with me.”
He walked ahead, pausing when he realized I wasn’t following. Then, I followed after him to the jeep closest to us. He helped me into the bed of the truck before climbing in after me. The other cars all took off. I sniffled as the jeep lurched forward. The wind blew past me.
“It’s a shame,” Cillian said. “You’d think he’d know better.”
“Know better?”
Cillian sighed, pulling out a pipe and lighting it. “All good things must come to an end.”
“What does that mean?”
“He likely delighted in you being his little princess, but he had to know you would grow up eventually.” He smirked. “Want things that he wasn’t ready to see you want…”
I blinked as he offered me the pipe. “Would you like some?”
My heart fluttered. Raven had offered me her pipe, but this felt different. I took it and took a big breath. It burned and stung. My eyes watered, and I choked. The bitterness stung even as I smelled something sweet like chocolate.
“Easy,” he said, his voice easy and warm. It was a low rumble in my ear. He stroked my back gently as the cough died down. “Don’t try to take it all in at once. Slower… Gentler. Savor it.”
I eyed him. His gaze was encouraging. It was exciting. I couldn’t remember Candido even ever offering me a drink. The first time I’d had alcohol was at the party. If he was here, he’d never let me do this, and there was something warming about that.
I put the pipe back to my lips and tried to follow his instructions. It was sweet and a little smoky. The bitterness wasn’t there.
“Hold it for a bit then breathe it out.”
An almost dizzyingly relaxing feeling came over me as I watched the smoke escape through my lips and rush away in the wind.
“How was that?”
“Chocolate?” I asked.
He laughed. “Something close to it at least. Chocolate in the way that you understand it, doesn’t exist in Lunae.”
I wrinkled my nose. “But I had chocolate cake.”
“As I said, it’s something close to it.”
I pulled my legs to my chest as he took the pipe from me and took another drag. Watching him made my face heat. There was something sensual about the way he smoked, something easy and masculine. It was like watching Candido drink whiskey.
“Have you truly not had sex with him?”
My face burned. “Is it normal for vampires to ask that question? We hardly know each other!”
Cillian licked his lips. “Would you like to get to know me?”
His eyes burned with a sensual promise and meaning that made heat pool in my stomach. This man was so different than Candido. I couldn’t imagine Candido saying something like that to me, and that… made it harder to bear.
I turned my gaze away. “No. We haven’t.”
“Shame,” Cillian said. “Maybe he’s forgotten how.”
“Hey!”
“Or maybe he never has before,” he wrinkled his nose. “What a sad life he must have lived.”
“Maybe he was just waiting for me, his mate…” I frowned, unsure if Candido had ever had sex before.
He snorted. “Let me tell you sweetheart. If he got to this age and never once had sex, mate or not, romantic or not, you should be concerned.”
I scowled at him. “We’re different from vampires. Mates are important to us.”
“Werewolves aren’t that different from vampires.”
I clenched my jaw. “Yes, we are.”
He turned resting his arm on the bar behind me as he took another drag. “Want to do a thought experiment on it?”
“Vampires drink blood. They’re basically dead.” I scowled at him.
“Nothing dead can have children,” he said glancing at me. “Thus, vampires are not dead.”
I blinked at him. “Vampires drink blood.”
“If a werewolf drinks the blood of a golden werewolf, from a…” he frowned. “What is it you call it? Werewolves with magic.”
“From an awakened bloodline.”
“Right,” he chuckled. “If any werewolf, awakened or not, drinks the blood of a golden wolf, their injuries will heal, and they’ll get a little boost in strength.”
“That’s just golden wolves.”
“The point you made was that vampires drink blood. The point I made is that werewolves do as well.”
My face heated as I thought about the years of drinking the milk mixed with Candido’s blood.
“Vampires… are evil.”
“Werewolves broke the treaty.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Is there not crime on your side? Why else would you have police?”
I set my jaw.
“Evil is not exclusive of species.”
“We’re still different.”
“Yes,” Cillian said. “Different, but not so different. Werewolves, for all intents and purposes, are simply weaker versions of vampires.”
“What?” I screeched. “Now you’re just lying to me.”
“Am I?”
He had to be. I narrowed my eyes at him.
“The powers of vampires are vast and multi-faceted. Werewolves of these… awakened bloodlines are limited, aren’t they? The elements, the mind, extra physical strength?”
I swallowed.
“With the exception of being an elemental, every vampire has some ability to affect the mind and the ability to tap into deeper reserves of strength.” He smiled. “The children of vampires who had the ability to shape-shift, the way that Francia does, is the origin of the werewolf race. Once upon a time, werewolves’ ability to shift was bound to the cycle of the moon.”
I blinked. I had read about this before. It was why the leading pack of werewolves, the line of the Alpha King, was thought to be called the Full Moon Pack.
The books said that it was a gift from the Goddess.
“Every line is related to that… with the exception of the Blood Moon… I believe you call it the Red Moon pack.” Cillian said. “I believe Raven told you a bit about it.”
I nodded slowly.
“Did she also tell you that the Blood Moon is specifically a vampire moon of power?”
I licked my lips and shook my head. “Does that… make a difference? Are you weaker at other times?”
“No,” he said. “Our powers do not wane with the phases of the moon… or the sun for that matter.”
“You have to be kidding.”
He shook his head. “The Moon Goddess is simply an aspect of the Sun Goddess. Why would she love us any less in her other form?”
My shoulders sank. “I thought… but you only attack at night.”
He chuckled. “When more werewolves are sleeping and unaware.”
I thought about it and nodded slowly. It made some sense, I guess, but I still wasn’t completely sold.
“If werewolves… evolved… what about vampires?”
“Of course, we changed,” Cillian said. “But our closeness to the goddess has not changed.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means she hears us… And sometimes, if you wish hard enough,” he met my gaze. “She may grant your wish. It’s coming up soon.”
My wish? Could I… ask her for Candido?
