Chapter 100

Robert’s POV

The awkward silence is becoming intense. Almara hasn’t said a word since she’s gotten in the car, even the baby seems to taking a dislike to me.

“Sorry I don’t have a car seat for her, I wasn’t really . . .expecting there to be a baby.” I say trying to listen the mood, which my comment does anything but that. Almara pulls her daughter protectively close to her chest.

“She’s fine right here.” Almara remarks. I let out a huff of hot air and have to bite my tongue. I’m starting to think searching for Almara was a mistake. Maybe I should’ve let her be along with my prideful brother. Where is he anyways?

I debate about asking, I assume they got into a fight and that’s why he’s not with her. It wouldn’t surprise me if he decided he wanted to back out of the whole being a dad thing.

“Would you slow down?” I hear Almara ask in slight alarm. I look at the speedometer and realize I’m going twenty over. I murmur an apology ad ease up on the gas. “You said you wanted to talk.” Almara accuses more so than invites me to speak.

I glance at the baby in her arms as a way to keep me level-headed. “What’s her name?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you after you tell me what it is you wanted to talk about.” Almara tips her nose in the air. I tighten my hands on the steering wheel till my knuckles turn white.

“Fair enough.” I lie through gritted teeth. Shouldn’t she be thanking me for the ride? I swallow my pride and continue with the speech I prepared ahead of time. “I want to be part of the family.” I lead with this opening, realizing how vulnerable it makes me sound and I hate it.

By the look on Almara’s face, I can tell she’s just as confused by my admission as I am. “What I mean is, my entire life I’ve been stewing in anger that I’m not part of the Hurricane pack, officially anyways. Clearly, fighting and manipulating isn’t working. So, I figured I might try something different.”

I shrug and toss Alamar a glance. Her eyebrows have raised high onto her forehead and her entire attention is captivated. “And what is this something different you’re going to try?”

“I’m going to be honest.” I tell her simply. “I want a fresh start and to actually try and have a relationship with my brother and father, you know something I’ve never had before yet something I’ve wanted my whole life.”

Almara laughs. My blood runs cold at her audacity. I must have a look of anger on my face because she quickly recovers her composure.

“I’m sorry, Robert. It’s just, you think you can do all the horrible and disgusting things you’ve done and then decide you want to try and be civilized?”

“I know, I know.” I admit with a sigh. “It’s just, with a baby involved now I don’t want her to see a family that’s deranged and at odds with one another. I know what that can do to a kid.” Almara shoots me a glance and I know what she’s thinking.

“No, I’m not using her baby as leverage. Like I said, I’m tired of being at war.” Almara shakes her head in disbelief, and honestly, I can’t blame her. The baby gives a couple whines and Almara instinctively knows what to do to soothe her. Little by little I can feel the ice around my heart thawing.

“It’s not even just up to me.” Almara says, but it takes a moment for me to pull my attention from the baby’s innocence.

“Huh? It’s your baby. What do you mean it’s not up to you?” I ask, getting annoyed that she’s not accepting my apology and we can move past this.

“She’s not just my baby, Robert. She’s Arthur’s too. Besides, your father is going to have to want a relationship also. That’s not just up to you.”

“Where is Arthur anyways?” I ask, ignoring her other points. I’ll deal with my father when the time comes. I don’t need to try and explain myself to Almara when it comes to my other relationships.

When Almara doesn’t answer right away, I look at her and almost feel bad for asking. Tears have sprung to her eyes and I know I pulled at a wrong cord. “I don’t know.” She says eventually. Though, the answer isn’t satisfactory.

“You don’t know? He’s your husband.” Stating the obvious is not what I intended to do, but what else do you say to such an idiotic response. What kind of wife doesn’t know where her husband is?

“It’s a long story and honestly Robert, I don’t know if you’re worthy to even hear it.”

I growl in annoyance at her attitude. I don’t know what Arthur has done with the complacent and quiet Almara that worshipped me, but I’m going to need her to come back if we’re supposed to have a civil relationship.We drive in silence for a bit more. We’ve crossed to the other side of town and entered more familiar territory. We’ll be approaching the house soon and I need to make better amends with Almara before going inside. Maybe if Roman can see I’ve won over his sons beloved wife, he’ll soften towards me.

“So, what’s my nieces name?” I ask, trying to put as much light-heartedness into my tone as I can.

“You know Robert, you still haven’t actually apologized.”

“What do you mean?” I balk. “I’ve explained my intentions, what I did wrong, and what I want to do better.” With my temper rising, I struggle to keep my voice level. We’re about to turn into the gated community. I slow down my driving.

“Exactly. But you never said those two magical little words.” Almara taunts me and I realize she’s enjoying this. I clench and unclench my jaw.

“You know what, Almara? I’ve said I’m sorry to you hundreds of times and you above all people should know that I didn’t mean it a single time.” I side-eye her. I told her I was going to be honest, well here it is.

“I want this time to be different. When I say those magical words you so desperately want to hear, I want to actually mean them.” I give her a moment to respond, but the look of shock on her face tells me she’s speechless, so I continue.

“So no, I don’t really feel sorry quite yet and you know why? Because nothing has changed yet. Maybe if my father accepts me and we can truly be on better terms and I see how good it could have been all those years, then maybe I’ll feel sorry for those wasted years I spent trying to numb my life with sex, or take my anger out on you, or resent Arthur. As of right now, you’re smugness doesn’t make me feel sorry at all.”

I almost regret the complete transparency, worried I ruin any chance of moving forward with a clean slate. Then I take a look at Almara as she strokes her baby’s back.

“Her name is Grace Elizabeth.”