Chapter 4 The Man Everyone Believed

After the fight over the lipstick, the distance between Ethan and me hardened. We no longer ate together.

He came home late or stayed out all night, sending brief messages that claimed he had to work.

After about a week, he apparently tired of the standoff. One night, just after I lay down, he came in carrying his blanket and pillow.

I turned my back on Ethan. He lay beside me and hugged me.

"Can we stop fighting?"

His coaxing tone made me uncomfortable, and I shrugged him off.

"No, you left me on the street. I won't forgive you."

Ethan did the same trick again, wrapping his arms around me so tightly that I couldn't break free.

"I'm sorry, honey."

I did not want another soft explanation. His tenderness had become camouflage for betrayal.

Then his hand slipped beneath my pajamas.

I sat up at once. "Don't touch me."

Ethan was dissatisfied. "Claire, I'm your husband. What's wrong with touching you?"

I sneered. "I'm afraid I'm not the one you want to touch."

Panic flickered across Ethan's face.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He smoothed his expression and lay down.

"How are you feeling?"

"What's wrong?"

"Mom wants us to have a baby as soon as possible."

"I can't get pregnant, you know that."

"Why can't you get pregnant?"

Ethan sat up. "You're a woman. Women can get pregnant."

I squeezed the covers harder to keep from shedding tears in front of him.

When I said nothing, Ethan changed tactics.

"We can try." With those words, he fell silent, and before long I could hear his heavy breathing.

I looked at the phone beside Ethan and wondered if I should check it or not.

The last time I checked his phone, I found nothing.

He had deleted every message and hidden Nora under some other name. But the changed password kept eating at me.

A password could mean anything. But Ethan had chosen Nora's birthday, and I knew exactly what it meant.

The image of Nora's swollen belly returned, and the room tilted around me.

The next day, our fight continued.

Ethan seemed angry. "I'm your husband and a normal man. If I want to have sex with you, you must agree."

I shielded my body with the covers. "Why?"

Then I remembered that Nora was pregnant.

Maybe Nora had told him to avoid sex for a while.

He was protecting her pregnancy, I realized, and using me to satisfy himself. A bitter laugh caught in my throat. What a farce we had become.

"Besides, how can we have a baby if you don't sleep with me?"

"Ethan," I called out to him.

"Have you ever thought about finding another woman to have your baby?"

His silence told me more than a denial would have. After half a minute, he said grimly, "What you need to do is get pregnant. Stop thinking about anything else."

He reached for the waistband of his pajama pants. When he pressed toward me again, something inside me snapped.

"Pregnant? Pregnant with what? Didn't you tell me you didn't want kids?

"Ethan, from falling in love to getting married, I've been with you for many years. If I wanted to have a baby, wouldn't I have done it so long ago?

"If you want a baby, you can have a baby yourself. I don't want to. Go find another woman then!"

Bang!

The pillow struck my face hard enough to send pain through my nose.

"Claire, that's enough!"

Ethan had hurled a pillow into my face in a burst of rage.

He had lashed out because I said the one thing he did not want to hear. The cruelty of it cut deeper than the blow.

I don't know how long I sat there before someone pounded on the front door.

"Police, open the door!"

Ethan dressed quickly and went to the door wearing his most polite expression.

"Good evening, what can I do for you?"

Our shouting had frightened the neighbors enough to call the police.

The officer looked past him into the house. "Why are you arguing in the middle of the night? What happened?"

Ethan rubbed his hands together. "Nothing serious. My wife and I had an argument. Sorry."

He turned to our neighbors again. "I'm so sorry to have disturbed you."

I took three steps forward. "Why am I the one making a scene?"

Ethan gave an apologetic smile. "Look, she's doing it again. I'm sorry."

I pushed forward, frantic to make someone understand. "Tell them why we fought. Go on. Tell everyone."

By the time I calmed down, it was too late. I looked like the hysterical wife in front of everyone.

Ethan, by contrast, looked like the patient husband managing an unreasonable wife.

The police talked to us. We apologized to the neighbors. They all left.

"You want everyone to think I'm crazy, right?"

I grabbed Ethan's clothes. "I'm your wife. How can you do such a thing to me?"

I knew how desperate I looked. Ethan's tone turned cold as he watched the neighbors return to their apartments.

"I don't want to waste time with you. Think about what you've done."

He grabbed his coat and walked out. I sank to the floor, as if he had taken the last of my strength with him.

If Ethan would not answer me, I would find Nora myself.

In the dim light, I opened the file Selena had sent about Nora..

It included her phone number.

I saved the number, then searched every social platform I could think of until I found Nora's public account.

As I scrolled through the pictures, my anger hardened into something cold.

How many times had Ethan claimed he was working late when he was really with Nora?

The photographs never showed a face, but I recognized Ethan's clothes, his watch, and his hand around her.

How many nights had he kissed me before leaving to spend the evening with her?

Just before I closed the app, Nora posted again.

The photo had been taken in the dim pool of a desk lamp.

"What a blessing to think of you and have you appear."

In the photo, Nora leaned against a man's shoulder, looking perfectly content.

I knew that shoulder. It belonged to the husband who had just walked out on me.

Ethan's shoulder.