Chapter 5 He Chose Her Child

Ethan came home three days later. By then, I was ready for him.

"How was sleeping in the car?"

Ethan opened the door. I smiled at him.

He glared at me, dropped his keys on the counter, and went to wash his hands.

We both knew he had not been sleeping in his car. That was the point.

The small cruelty gave me no satisfaction.

By the time Ethan walked out, I was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"I saw you."

He raised his eyebrows again out of habit. "What do you mean?"

"That day, at the hospital, I saw you and Nora."

I did not bother easing into it. "You were taking her to a prenatal appointment, weren't you?"

From my behavior over the past few days, Ethan must have guessed that I knew something.

Even so, hearing Nora's name from my mouth startled him.

I waited for Ethan to explain.

I imagined him coaxing me as he used to, turning those pleading eyes on me and begging for forgiveness.

But he didn't.

"I do want a child."

His words tore through the last of my hope.

"Honey, I want children. She's pregnant, and I want her to give birth to my baby."

For a long moment, I said nothing. Then I clapped, laughing even as tears ran down my face.

"Well, Ethan, I'm happy for you!"

Ethan's expression sharpened.

"If you're angry, take it out on me, Claire. Don't hurt the child."

I stopped applauding. My whole body shook.

"That's all you ask?

"Ethan, what do you take me for?"

Ethan spread his hands.

"What do you expect me to say when you've already found out the truth?"

He sat on the couch with a faint smirk.

"At least she can get pregnant. You can't."

I nodded slowly. "So that's what you think of me."

Until that moment, some part of me had still hoped Ethan would remember the man he used to be. I was wrong. He admitted the affair as though he had every right and believed I could do nothing to him.

"Ethan, I asked you a thousand times if you wanted a child."

My voice broke.

"And every time, you said no. How can you go back on that so easily?"

Ethan wouldn't look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

The apology I had once longed for meant no more to him than a shrug.

His refusal to face me took away my last hope.

Whatever marriage I thought we still had was gone.

"You're cheating!"

I shouted at Ethan, but his face remained blank.

"No matter what you say, I will keep that baby."

He walked into the bedroom and closed the door. For a second, his retreating figure overlapped with the man I remembered loving. Then the image split apart. I could no longer make the two men fit.

The next day I showed up at the door of Nora's company.

"Hello, I'm looking for Nora."

The receptionist smiled. "May I ask your name?"

"Tell her Ethan Caldwell's wife is here," I said.

Nora saw me as she walked out, and her smile froze.

I offered my hand. "You should know who I am."

"How did you find me?"

Nora paled and covered her belly with both hands.

"You investigated me? You know that's illegal."

I said, "Oh, so it's not illegal to have a child with a married man?"

Nora began to tremble. "What do you want?"

What did I want?

I had not known until that moment.

Before I came, I imagined a hundred versions of how angry, desperate, even mad I would be.

But I was surprisingly calm when I saw her.

"I want to give this back to you."

I took out that lipstick. "Next time you drop it in his car, I won't help you keep it."

A mocking smile touched Nora's mouth. "That one? I was going to throw it away. Ethan likes that color on me, though."

Maybe she said that to provoke me, and she succeeded.

She could casually discard something I had once saved up to buy.

Rage surged through me. For one ugly moment, I wanted to announce the affair to everyone in her office and humiliate her in public.

Then I looked at her belly.

Nora's baby bump was more obvious than the last time I saw her. The child was innocent of everything we had done.

I handed the lipstick back to Nora.

"Then keep it." I met her eyes. "And check whether it's safe to use during pregnancy."

I left Nora's office with no sense of victory, only a deeper confusion.

Making her lose the baby?

I was not that cruel.

I drifted through the rest of the morning. Ethan called at noon.

"What did you do with her?"

His shout blasted through the phone.

"What are you yelling about?" I asked.

"She's in the hospital!"

Ethan sounded furious, as if he were the injured one. "I know you went to see her. Why did you do that?"

My voice came out flat. "I wanted to see what she was really like.

"And sooner or later, we're going to meet, aren't we?"

Ethan ordered, "Go to St. Mary's now and apologize to her!

"If anything happens to my child, I won't spare you!"

"What exactly are you threatening me with?"

Ethan lowered his voice. "If anything happens to her or the baby...

"Then we'll get a divorce."

After he hung up, I sat motionless for a long moment.

It was the first time Ethan had threatened me with divorce.

Of course it was because of her and the baby.

In the end, I went to the hospital.

The maternity ward was the last place I wanted to enter.

Now I was walking into it because Ethan had ordered me to apologize to his mistress.

Just as I reached the door to the ward, I heard several familiar voices.

"Are you okay, Nora? I know this hospital well. Call me if you need anything."

"You should call her Mrs. Caldwell."

"Nora won't care. How do you feel now?"

I recognized the voices of Ethan's friends.

When I went out with them, these men had always called me "Mrs. Caldwell." Now they were handing my name to Nora.

I knocked on the door and walked in. The ward went silent.

"Mrs. Caldwell..."

One of Ethan's friends started to greet me. Another elbowed him into silence.

Ethan sat in the visitor chair beside the bed with Nora curled against his chest.

The scene felt unreal. I took out my phone and recorded a few seconds, more from shock than any plan to use it.

Ethan barely reacted.

"Are you done? You should apologize to her."

I laughed. "Why should I apologize to her?"

Ethan clenched his fists.

"You went to Nora's company and irritated her, causing her to almost lose her baby. You could have cost me my baby!"

I laughed again. "Your child? What's that got to do with me?"

Without waiting for Ethan to speak, I continued.

"Ethan, if you called me here to humiliate me, then you succeeded.

"Your friends have known about Nora's existence for a long time, haven't they?"

The men lowered their heads. No one answered.

At least they knew they had done something shameful.

I continued, "You have nothing to be proud of. You cheated on your wife. You know this affair will matter in a divorce."

Ethan sneered. "Do you think I will care? Compared with my child, none of that matters."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"You are a perfect match. Both of you are shameless."

"Honey!"

Nora had tears in her eyes and wrapped both hands around Ethan's neck. "Look at her!"

"Claire, don't go too far."

Ethan's stare turned hard.

I could no longer hold back the words.

"What will a child born out of wedlock face?

"Besides, the baby doesn't have to be yours..."

In the next second, Ethan slapped me hard.

The ward erupted. One of Ethan's friends grabbed his arm; another only stared.

The nurse rushed in. "Be quiet!"

Ethan pointed at me, his face twisted with rage.

"Claire, get out of here. We'll get a divorce!"

I covered my face and froze for a few seconds before running from the room.

In the cab, I felt as if my life were coming apart.

With one slap, Ethan had stripped away my dignity and shattered whatever remained of our marriage.

I felt the driver's eyes darting toward me in the mirror.

My stomach lurched.

The nausea, headaches, and missed periods were impossible to ignore.

My period was two months late, and lately I'd been suffering headaches and dry heaves.

Was I pregnant?