Chapter Three

Lying in bed, I suddenly laughed.

Ethan and I met at a physics competition in college.

I was the one who went after him.

We dated for three years and got married right after graduation.

The first two years of our marriage were good.

In his first year of grad school, he won the New Horizons in Physics Prize. With talent like that, he stayed on at the university after his PhD and became the youngest full professor in his department.

He got very busy.

He was in the lab every day and always traveling. I understood.

Even when he didn't come home for my birthday, as disappointed as I was, I still smiled and said it was fine. Work came first.

I felt bad for him, working so hard with his students.

I worried he wasn't eating properly, so whenever I had time, I brought food to his lab.

I kept it up for a year. Then one day he suddenly said, "You don't have to bring me food anymore. I'll just eat at the campus dining hall. It's too much running around for you."

It wasn't until later that I found out Ethan had taken on a female student.

When I asked, he said, "Another professor recommended her. It would have been awkward to say no."

I said I understood and didn't ask anything else.

Until I noticed that Sophie was always hovering around Ethan.

She was sweet and carefree, funny, and very good at being cute.

Ethan hated noise and fuss more than anyone, but he let Sophie flutter around him, texting him little updates about her life.

The day he gave Sophie her lipstick back, we had a huge fight.

But Ethan thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. "Emma, she's my student. Don't be so sensitive."

So the problems between us kept piling up.

The fights got more and more frequent.

All of them were about one thing: Sophie.

It even got to the point of divorce, but in the end, we didn't go through with it.

Ethan wouldn't agree.

During that time, I nearly lost my mind. I went through his phone obsessively, interrogated him about where he'd been, and whenever he didn't text back, my imagination ran wild.

Once, he took his students out of town for an academic conference.

I bombarded him with angry texts.

Until Sophie sent me a voice message from his phone:

"Mrs. Hale, the professor's busy right now. He'll call you back when he's done."

"I know you like to be in control, but if you're going to fight with him, you have to pick your moments~"

"Could you maybe not bother him right now?"

I couldn't help it. I sent Sophie a lot of nasty things.

When Ethan came back, we had another huge fight.

He looked at me, full of disappointment. "Emma, what happened to you?"

"Do you have any idea what those messages could do to Sophie? If she showed those texts to anyone, what would the university think of me? What would they think of you?"

"Did you even think about that?"

He didn't say a single word about Sophie crossing the line.

He'd decided I was the one being unreasonable.

Until I got so upset that I passed out.

When I woke up in the hospital, the doctor told me I was pregnant.

Thinking about it, I touched my stomach.

Too bad. I would never have a child now.

Ethan didn't come home until the next morning.

He didn't explain anything.

I didn't ask either.

Sophie stayed in the hospital for three days of observation.

After she was discharged, she sent Ethan a long stream of thank-you texts.

After all, during the three days she was in the hospital, Ethan went to see her whenever he had a free moment.

I didn't ask a single question.

I just did what I needed to do.

I didn't even look at him.

Several times, he seemed about to say something, but he didn't know what.

After dinner, Ethan stopped me.

He said, a little hesitantly:

"While she was in the hospital, as her advisor, it wouldn't have looked right if I didn't go see her."

I paused.

I'd thought he was going to say something else.

I didn't expect it to be that.

I put on a smile. "I understand. Don't worry, I won't go cause trouble for her."

"Anything else?"

Ethan seemed unable to hold it in anymore. His voice shook as he demanded:

"Emma, enough."

"How long are you going to keep treating me like this?" he said. "You're not the same as you used to be."

My smile disappeared.

Ethan looked at me.

"Are you blaming me? We lost the baby. I'm hurting too."

I looked at him coldly.

"Shouldn't I blame you?"

Ethan fell silent.

That day, I'd slipped and fallen down the stairs.

Through the pain, I called Ethan. He said he was almost home and told me to wait for him.

But right then, Sophie called him and said she didn't have a ride home.

So he turned around and went back to drive her home.

I hadn't even finished talking when he hung up.

By the time I finally got to the hospital, the baby was gone.

The doctor said that if I'd gotten there a little sooner, they might have been able to save it.

Then came more terrible news. My body was too weak. After this miscarriage, it would be very hard for me to get pregnant again.

When Ethan found out, he knelt by my hospital bed for two whole days, blaming himself.

Begging me to forgive him.

After I came home from the hospital, he started to change.

Except when he absolutely had to, he stopped contacting Sophie privately.

He'd hand me his phone to check without being asked, and tell me where he was going.

But I didn't need any of that anymore.

I was too tired.

Besides, I'd already bought a plane ticket to Seattle.

I didn't look at him again. I turned and went upstairs.