Chapter 5 CHAPTER FIVE: SIENNA

•AVERY•

I'd made a deal.

Six in the morning, a cold cup of coffee, my laptop shut beside me with Connor's fingerprints all over the thing even if he'd never actually touched it.

Need had felt pretty convincing back in Edinburgh. Sitting in my flat half-awake, saying yes into a phone because rent still existed and my constant panic wasn't paying any of it.

That’s a different story now though.

He had already read the notes and that part was done. Even if I wish I could turn back the hands of time to change it, but I couldn't reach back through time and drag them out of his head.

So, I make a plan.

Be smarter, Avery. Keep going and also stop fucking putting things where they didn’t belong.

In the wrong document.

Easy enough.

Except apparently not because I was already fucking it up and I wasn't even done with the coffee yet.

Fuck.

I got dressed and headed for the paddock.

Reef was waiting outside the garage with two coffees in one of his hands when I arrived.

What a handy man, I like.

As I got closer he held one out in my direction before I even asked.

Good, because functioning felt ambitious this morning.

He gave me a weird look. "Jesus, you look awful."

"Lovely, thank you."

"Just saying."

I took a sip and immediately regretted it because apparently, coffee could taste judgmental now.

Reef tipped his cup toward the garage.

"He's been in there for like two hours already."

Right, so qualifying.

"Don't try to talk to him today," he said. "Just exist near him for a bit. You'll figure out the radius."

I look up at him.

"The radius."

"Everyone's got one." Another sip. "Close enough that he knows you're there. Far enough that you're not suddenly a problem he has to deal with."

That felt weirdly specific.

And also concerning.

"You really know how to reassure people."

"I do, actually."

"Mm."

"You'll probably be fine."

Probably.

Fantastic, what a way to go.

“Very reassuring of you Reef” I say.

He grinned and started walking toward the garage, apparently deciding I was coming with him whether I'd agreed or not.

"Come on."

Kade in the cockpit was apparently a completely different person.

I thought I actually understood that already considering the fact I’d read the files, read the notes, even written some of them myself from observations and secondhand reports. There'd been wording for it too. Affect shift, increased focus, reduced guardedness in high-performance environments, very professional, and also very neat.

Turns out professional wording is great right up until an actual person stands in front of you and ruins it.

Because he didn't shut down when the helmet went on. It looked like the absolute opposite.

Everywhere else there always seemed to be something moving across his face. Things were shifting around and correcting themselves before they stayed long enough to mean anything. But then the helmet went on and suddenly there was nothing.

Absolute emptiness.

Just like that.

Like as if somebody had shaken a snow globe for weeks and it had finally settled.

Denny was running through final checks beside him and Kade answered in short half-sentences, barely looking away, already somewhere else entirely.

Then the car left the garage and the sound hit.

Oh, okay.

Because apparently I'd spent all this time reading notes and reports and interviews and nobody had thought to include the part where you feel it.

Three sectors. Each one tighter than the last. I didn't know enough to explain exactly what I was watching, but I knew enough to know everyone around me had gone quieter. The mechanics weren't standing around anymore.

And Kade just—

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Because from out here it looked way too easy.

Just a car moving around a track.

Until your brain catches up and remembers what easy actually costs at those speeds.

By the time I looked down, my coffee had gone cold in my hand.

And I didn’t write a single thing.

Something had gone wrong on the last run.

I didn't catch what it was because I didn’t need to.

Kade came out of debrief about forty minutes later and walked straight past Denny, past Reef too which made Reef actually open his mouth and look at Kade's face, and immediately decided against whatever he was about to say.

Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t angry in any way.

And yes, I know that because I’d seen angry already.

Who stayed in a toxic home for 5 years after all? Almighty me.

This looked more like somebody getting a hand around something and losing it at the last second.

I gave it thirty seconds.

Then I followed after him.

He was around the back of the garage where nobody really went, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and staring somewhere past the concrete into the distance.

He heard me coming.

"You don't have to."

"I know."

I stopped beside him. Not close enough to be in his way.

The noise from the paddock curled around the corner, it’s softer back here.

"P6," he said after a while.

"Is that bad?"

"It's not P1."

Yeah, right.

He let out a breath through his nose. "Had it in sector two." A pause. "Then the rear stepped out and…"

And then nothing came after that.

"It clearly matters," I said.

He glanced at me, then held it a fraction longer than usual.

"Clinical opinion?"

"Human one."

His mouth twitched.

“It’s not just today,” he said quieter, like the sentence had more weight than he actually wanted it to carry. "There's just... noise lately."

I didn’t move.

"Usually I get in the car and everything else just… goes quiet."

"And today?" I ask.

His eyes stayed forward.

"Today it didn't."

We stood there for a few seconds.

Then he turned to face me properly.

"This week's been better."

I blinked.

"Better?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Don't know why."

I left that alone.

After a second he pushed off the wall.

"The car's usually the only place I don't have to explain myself." His eyes landed on me for a second. "Now there are two."

Oh.

That one landed.

He looked at me for a long moment and I saw something move behind his eyes but it wasn’t anything I’ve ever seen before. I didn’t try to read it anyway. He nodded once and it felt like he decided to keep whatever he’d been deciding on saying within him.

"Come on," he said, already moving. "Reef's probably losing his mind."

Oh, you’re so right on that Kade Rivers.

We walked back separately.

I turned the corner toward hospitality and stopped without meaning to.

A woman was standing near the paddock entrance, which I was almost sure hadn't been there before. She has dark hair and an expensive-looking coat on. She stood completely still while everyone else moved beside her.

She was looking straight at me.

Not Kade is behind me somewhere.

Me.

Reef appeared beside me out of nowhere.

"Good chat?" he asked carefully in a way that already annoyed me.

I didn’t look away from her when I said it.

"Who is that?"

He looked over and met my eyes with his, and then his attention slid away from both of us entirely.

I followed his gaze and saw Kade standing at a good distance behind us.

2 seconds later and still nothing.

“Reef” I say nudging him in the hand.

"That's Sienna."

I looked over back at Sienna and saw that she was still watching me

Then she smiled.

And…oh.

Because that wasn't a nice smile.

It’s the kind of smile that looked like I'd walked into the middle of something I wasn’t supposed to walk into.

"Reef." I kept my voice even. "How long has she been here?"

"Avery…"

"How long?"

Another pause.

He looked at me with uncertainty in his face "Since Monday."

Since the day I came and no one has found it pleasing to let me know.

Wow, just wow.

I'd been here since Monday.

She’d been watching me this entire time and I hadn’t even seen her once and maybe truly it’s because I’d been so focused on managing Kade and managing Connor and managing my fucking self that I hadn’t looked properly at anyone else in eleven days.

I looked back at Sienna.

She lifted her coffee cup slowly, like she was giving me a quiet little cheer.

Then she turned and walked away.