Chapter 1

Anne's POV

I graduated college with Owen, my childhood best friend, and we finally started dating. He said we should keep it secret for a year first, didn't want things getting messy with our parents being so close if things went south. Once we hit that one-year mark, we'd go public and get engaged. It's been eight months now.

Sunday afternoon, Owen and I just finished having sex. I'm lying there in his arms when my mom calls saying we're going to Owen's engagement party tonight. I thought she was joking.

I glance over at Owen, smiling. "My mom says you're getting engaged tonight."

He gives this lazy "mm-hmm" and sits up, walking toward his closet. "Help me pick out a suit? I need to look good for my engagement party tonight."

"You… what?" My voice barely came out.

Owen turned away. He looked confused, like I'd asked him the dumbest question in the world.

"Oh yeah, that." He walked back to the bed. "I'm getting engaged to Mae. You remember her—my girlfriend from high school. She got back from London last week."

Everything stopped. I waited for him to laugh, to tell me it was some kind of joke. He just stood there, completely serious.

"But we…" I looked at the messy sheets, at him standing there half-naked, at the fact that we'd been having sex less than an hour ago. "What about us?"

Owen sat down on the edge of the bed. "Us?" His forehead wrinkled. "Anne, what do you mean?"

What do I mean?

"We've been together for eight months." My heart was beating so hard. "You said, the one-year agreement. You said we'd wait a year to make sure we were stable, and then we'd tell our parents and get engaged—"

"Hold on." He put his hand up and something changed in his face. "You thought we were actually dating?"

I couldn't breathe.

"We've been sleeping together for eight months," I said. My voice shook. "You told me, you promised—"

"Anne." He sighed. "We're fuck buddies. Friends with benefits. That's what this is."

Fuck buddies.

"The one-year thing?" My lips felt numb.

He shrugged and turned back to the closet. "I was just talking. You know how it is after sex—people say stuff." He pulled out a navy suit and held it up. "This one or the black for tonight?"

I grabbed the mattress to steady myself.

"You're lying."

But I knew he wasn't. Everything suddenly made horrible sense. The way he'd never touched me in public. How he changed the subject every time I mentioned our future. The vague non-answers about when we'd finally tell people.

How did I not see this?

"Look, don't make it weird." Owen's voice drifted out from the closet. "You had fun too, didn't you? The sex was great, no drama. That's all it needed to be."

"I thought I was your girlfriend."

He came back out with both suits. "My girlfriend?" He actually laughed. "Come on, Anne. We've known each other since we were kids. You're just… I don't know. Easy. Comfortable."

"Comfortable."

"Yeah, exactly." He said. "That's kind of the problem, though. You're too comfortable. We grew up together, so I already know everything about you. Every face you make, every reaction. There's nothing new. It's boring."

Each word felt like glass in my chest, but he kept going.

"Honestly?" He glanced at me. "I got freaked out. What if I actually married you? I'd be stuck with someone totally predictable for the rest of my life. No excitement, no surprise. Just the same exact thing every day until we die."

"You said you loved me."

"During sex?" He raised his eyebrows. "Anne, everyone says shit during sex."

I grabbed my clothes off the floor but my hands shook so hard I could barely hold them.

"Hey, what's going on?" Owen's hand landed on my thigh, his fingers sliding up slowly. The same touch that used to make my whole body light up now made me want to peel my own skin off. "Why are you freaking out? You were totally into it earlier. I mean, you came like three times—"

I jerked away so hard I almost fell off the bed.

"Jesus, relax." His hand came back, moving higher this time. "We still have a couple hours before the party. We could go again if you want—"

I shoved his hand off and yanked my shirt on.

"Anne?" He sounded pissed now. "Why are you being like this?"

Why am I being like this. That's what he asked me.

I couldn't look at him. If I looked at him I'd completely lose it, and I wasn't going to give him that.

"You're being so dramatic right now." He stood up, still completely naked. "It was casual. Fun. Why are you acting like I did something wrong?"

I walked to the door.

"Hey!" His voice got sharp. "You're still coming tonight though, right? To the party? My mom's going to wonder where you are."

My hand stopped on the doorknob.

"Our families have known each other forever," he said, "It'd be super weird if you didn't show up. Plus Mae really wants to meet you, I told her we basically grew up together."

"Remember," he called out as I opened the door. "Seven o'clock. Don't be late."

I ran.

I crashed through my front door and the smell of home hit me.

"Anne?" My mom came out of the kitchen with a dish towel. Her smile disappeared when she saw my face. "Honey, what happened?"

I couldn't make words come out. I just fell into her arms and finally let myself cry.

"Shh, it's okay, baby." She held me tight and stroked my hair. "Talk to me. Why are you crying?"

I pulled back and wiped my face hard with my palms. I couldn't tell her the truth, that I'd been sleeping with Owen for eight months, that I was stupid enough to believe everything he said, that I'd almost refused to move with them because I wanted to stay here with him.

"I'm fine." My voice came out rough and scratchy. "Just a really shitty day."

"Anne, sweetie—"

"Mom, listen." I took a deep breath, then another one. "I made a decision. About the move."

My parents had both gotten offers from a top university in another state, and they'd been trying to convince me to come with them. But I'd kept saying no. I'd said I wanted to stay here, build my career here, make my life here.

With Owen.

What a fucking joke.

"I want to go with you guys." I said. "I'll move with you and Dad."

My mom's eyes got huge. "But you said… You were so sure you wanted to stay. Last night you said—"

"I changed my mind." I forced something like a smile. "You're right. Family matters more than anything. And this is a really good opportunity for all of us."

"Are you sure?" She studied my face hard. "Because just yesterday you were talking about—"

"I'm sure."