Chapter 117

“Jacks!”

Jackson hears his name called behind him, but he doesn’t register it, or doesn’t care. Instead, he just continues to stride forward in the dark, not really knowing where he’s going, just needing to get…out. Get away. Disappear into the night, into the wilds, into…whatever.

Any place but that castle.

Any place but here.

“Jacks! You asshole!” the voice comes again, closer this time, and Jackson’s instincts make him pay attention to it, his wolf turning inside him to growl at whatever’s coming. “Slow down! I know you can hear me!”

Jackson moves on, determined, but inside him his wolf turns again, raising his nose a little, a whine in his throat. Jackson pushes him away, but the wolf persists, pressing his snout into Jackson’s hand. Come on, the wolf says, listen. It’s Jesse. We like Jesse.

Jackson is the one growling now, insisting that he doesn’t like anyone, but his wolf just nuzzles against his hand, sad, not wanting to run anymore. So Jackson sighs, and slows, and turns when Jesse’s footsteps come near.

“What the hell man,” Jesse says, bending over and panting a little, “I’ve been chasing you for like, twenty minutes!”

“Should have been faster,” Jackson mutters, shrugging and looking away, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

“Don’t be a dick,” Jesse growls. “I’m trying to be nice to you, the least you could do is let me.”

“Nice to me?” Jackson huffs, turning to glare at Jesse a little. “Do you seriously think that’s going to fix anything?”

“Yeah, Jacks,” Jesse says, standing up straight and crossing his arms, “I think that being nice to you is just going to make Ariel magically not have a second mate. Obviously, that’s what I think.”

Jackson narrows his eyes. “You’re being a jerk, Jesse,” he growls, turning to walk away again.

“Jacks!” Jesse groans, and Jackson tugs his arm out of Jesse’s grasp when Jesse grabs it. “Don’t you get it!? I am being nice to you! This is what people do!”

“What?” Jackson asks, still walking but turning towards the slightly smaller Alpha to glare at him. “Do what? You’re not doing anything – you’re just bothering me –“

“Exactly!” Jesse exclaims, keeping pace with Jackson’s long stride. “That’s what people do! People who care about each other! When something shitty happens, you show up, and you’re just there!”

“That doesn’t do anything,” Jackson grumbles, discontent – but honestly, nothing, really, would work for him right now. Nothing can make this better – nothing will make this better.

Ariel – Ari – his mate. But she’s not really his, is she? He’d thought he’d had her, he’d thought – for a blissful couple of days that she was his. That everything was going to be okay. That for once he had…like, a shot at this life, at this thing they call happiness.

But he never really had it, did he?

No, it was all an illusion. Because she was lying the whole time.

“Jackson,” Jesse sighs, grabbing his arm again and making him stop.

Or, well, Jackson agrees to stop – because Jesse…he’s not big enough to actually stop him. But they pause anyway, on the top of a hill, darkness all around. And Jackson hangs his head as he waits, because…well, where is there to go, anyway?

“This is me trying to do something, all right?” Jesse says, his voice softer now, his hand gentle on Jackson’s arm. “Something shitty happens, and even though they can’t do anything about it, the people who care about you show up. And they hang around. So, please stop walking away from me and let me do that for you!”

“Why?” Jackson growls, not getting it.

“To just be there!” Jesse exclaims, throwing out his hands. “To show you that I care, that you’re not alone! To…stop you from throwing yourself into a ditch, or whatever!” Jesse pauses, staring at Jackson, waiting for him to respond, but Jackson just stands perfectly still, staring at him. “Or to throw you into a ditch, if you keep being an asshole about it.”

At this, Jackson huffs a laugh.

“So would you stop running away?” Jesse mutters, crossing his arms now, a little cold in the night air now that he’s not running around after the big devastated Alpha. “I’m trying to…be here for you.”

“Fine,” Jackson says with a shrug. There’s a long moment of silence. “So, what do we do now?”

“Whatever you want,” Jesse murmurs. “Walk. Sit. Just…exist, if you want to. Or you could…talk to me about it.”

Jackson stares at Jesse like he’s insane if he thinks that’s going to happen, and to his surprise Jesse bursts out laughing, taking a step forward and clapping a hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “Jacks, seriously, I need you to tell me…did you grow up under a bridge or something? Why don’t you know how to let someone comfort you?”

And Jackson sighs, a long, deep breath, and just looks down at the ground.

And Jesse sighs with him, realizing that…well, that the answer is because nobody ever has comforted him. And Jesse’s heart, like Ariel’s, absolutely breaks for this guy.

“Come on, you weirdo,” Jesse murmurs, pushing on Jackson’s shoulder warmly and turning him a bit. “Let’s do a little walk. You don’t have to say a damn word to me. I’ll just…be here.”

Jackson nods, and to Jesse’s surprise, lets him walk by his side.

They walk for a long time. Jackson is surprised, after a while, at how quiet and stoic Jesse is. Jesse doesn’t sigh or moan that he’s bored, like Jackson thought he would. He doesn’t complain, or fuss, or anything. He just walks quietly at Jackson’s side as they circle the castle, losing themselves in the woods and then along the cliffs that border the northern edge, that overlook the candidate barracks below.

When Jackson pauses at the edge of the cliff, looking far, far north, peering into the dark, Jesse clears his throat.

Jackson scowls, looking over at him. “I thought you said we could not talk?”

“Listen, I tried,” Jesse says, bursting into a grin. “You called my bluff on this one, Jacks. That is the longest I’ve ever been quiet in my entire life.”

“And wasn’t it nice?”

“It was horrible,” Jesse groans, tilting his head back. And Jackson can’t help but smile, because Ariel does that too when she’s being dramatic.

It’s a lot less cute when Jesse does it…but he smiles anyway.

“So,” Jesse says, looking north in the same way Jackson does, into the dark. “I’ve been thinking about it, Jacks, and I gotta say…I’m kind of disappointed in you.”

“What?” Jackson seethes, turning on this guy who just professed to want to help him.

Jesse doesn’t flinch, just continues looking north. “I mean, is it really all that bad?”

Jackson groans, lifting his hands to his face and pressing the heels of his palms lightly against his closed eyes. “Unbelievable,” he mutters, starting to get pissed for real.

“No, but seriously,” Jesse says, “think about it this way. What is so good about being mated to my stupid shrimp cousin, anyway? I mean, she’s not that great.”

Jackson drops his hands, gaping at Jesse, “She’s not a stupid shrimp, Jesse,” he bites out, furious. “She’s amazing, that’s what was so great about it! She’s smart, and she’s funny, and she’s nice – and she’s beautiful – and she…she gets me! She’s pretty much the only person in the entire world who gets me. And she’s brave, and I like being around her, even though I hate everyone else – you included!”

“See?” Jesse says, breaking into a grin and pointing a finger at Jackson’s chest. “That was a test, and you passed. Ari is all those things, and if you didn’t recognize how amazing she is I wouldn’t let you date her.”

Jackson’s mouth drops open. “You can’t…not let me date her.”

“Yes I can,” Jesse mutters, waving a dismissive hand, “I can do anything, I’m a Duke. But that’s not important. What is important is that you recognize how great it is that you get Ariel as your mate – you’re the luckiest bastard to ever walk to earth, to have had the Goddess tie her to you. Now.” Jesse nods, moving on like they’re figuring out a math problem. “What’s so bad about sharing her with Luca?”

Jackson pauses, looking for the trick in Jesse’s question.

But even as he looks for it, he knows what the answer is. He stays quiet, not wanting to say it.

“May I venture a guess, as I suspect you ran through your daily quota of words with your last answer?”

Jackson just scowls at him.

“No, you’re right, your weekly quota,” Jesse says, nodding and clapping a hand again on Jackson’s shoulder. “Jacks, what sucks about it is that you have to share her. With Luca, of all damn people. But having to share her – does that mean you lose any of the good things?”

Jackson takes a long moment before he sighs, looking down at the ground. “No,” he murmurs, rueful, “I don’t lose any of the good things just because he’s her mate too. But I…I might lose…her…”

God, the thought of it. Tears prick at Jackson’s eyes again, and he grits his teeth against them, getting sick of all this damn crying. What the hell is with that, anyway? He never cried this much in his life, and now he’s mated for three days and spends half the time wiping salt water off his cheeks.

Jesse, to his credit, pretends not to notice Jackson’s manly sniff, the way he brushes beneath his eyes with his wrists. Instead, Jesse pretends to look at a particularly interesting star for precisely as long as it takes for Jackson to pull himself back together.

“I get it, Jacks, I really do,” Jesse says, quiet, still not looking at Jackson. “The idea of losing her…it’s probably killing you. But there’s no faster way to lose her than to storm out of rooms and let Luca have all the time he wants with her. Luca is charming as hell, man. He’s going to wrap Ari around his finger without you there to stop him.”

Jackson’s jaw drops as he stares first at Jesse and then up at the castle, realizing that Jesse is right.

“I know you’re scared you’re going to lose her,” Jesse says quietly, “but Jackson - you’re acting like you already have. If that’s your girl, Jacks? Then go and get your girl. Don’t let Luca take her. But also, why are you so afraid that Luca’s going to get her, anyway!?”