Chapter 118

“Because!” Jackson bursts out, tossing out his hands. “It’s Luca fucking Grant, Jesse! Even I had heard of him, and I haven’t heard of anyone! And he’s…he’s good with women! And he can talk to her, and make her laugh! And he’s like…good looking, or whatever! How the hell am I supposed to compete with that!?”

Jesse stares at Jackson for a long moment before a slow grin starts on his face.

Jackson scowls, hating him a little bit. “What?” he snaps. “What are you smiling about? Are you laughing at me? Seriously!?”

“I’m not laughing at you, Jacks,” Jesse says, shaking his head but continuing to smile. “It’s just – you have no idea what you have going on, do you? This bridge you grew up under, did it not have a mirror?”

Jackson just stares at Jesse for a long moment before he cocks his head. Because…was that a…compliment? Hidden beneath all of those insults?

“Listen,” Jesse says, reaching an arm around Jackson’s shoulders and pulling him close like he’s sharing a deep secret, “I’m going to speak plainly, so pay attention - because this doesn’t happen often. But Jackson – women like you.”

“How can women like me - I don’t know any women –“

“Fine,” Jesse says, grinning, clearly enjoying himself. “When you get to the Capital, and you hang out with all of the girls we’re going to introduce you to? They’re going to like you. Like, a lot – in a romance kind of way. They’re going to like you as much as they like Luca, or more. But none of that matters, because Ariel really likes you, man! Despite all the odds, and in a way that I truly do not get – you make her laugh, just as much as Luca does!”

Jackson lifts his eyes just a little, remembering that they did laugh a lot that night during the Examination, remembering how good it felt to make her laugh. Jesse’s grin deepens.

“Luca Grant doesn’t have anything you don’t,” Jesse continues. “Okay? So…stop acting like it’s a done deal. I had to stop Ariel from chasing you out of that room tonight and leaving Luca Grant behind. That is…not insignificant, Jacks. And it’s the only thing you need to be concentrating on right now.”

Jackson turns his head slowly to look back into Jesse’s face, shocked at the weird wisdom of this guy who always seems so flippant, so easy.

How…how does he know precisely the right thing to say?

“I’m here for you, man,” Jesse says, tightening his arm and giving Jackson’s shoulders a squeeze. “I’ll even give you a pep talk every day, if you want it.”

“Why?” Jackson asks, baffled about why Jesse is being so damn nice to him right now.

“Because I like you, you idiot!” Jesse laughs, punching Jackson on his arm in playful frustration. “Because you’re my friend, even if you don’t yet realize that I’m yours!”

“Wait, but like…why?” Jackson asks, smiling a little more and shaking his head. “Why do you like me?”

“Oh my god,” Jesse groans, laughing more and dropping his arm from Jackson’s shoulders. “Jacks…you seriously need some therapy. I like you because you’re a good guy, and you’re interesting, and you’re…well, you’re so weird that you make me laugh even when you don’t mean to. And also because you’re obsessed with my cousin, who I also like. And because we have the same stupid hobbies of running around and punching things. Why wouldn’t I like you?”

“So, you don’t just…like me because I’m Ariel’s mate?” Jackson’s voice is so hesitant that it breaks Jesse’s heart again.

“No, I’d probably like you more if you weren’t,” Jesse murmurs with a smirk, working hard to hide his impulse to wrap Jackson in a bear hug. “Because now I have to worry about walking in on you guys making out and stuff, which is…not ideal for a friendship.”

Jackson laughs, he can’t help it, and then he nods once, decided. Then, to Jesse’s shock, he starts to stride away, a new confidence in the set of his shoulders.

“Wait!” Jesse calls after him, hurrying to catch up. “Where the hell are you going!?”

“I’m going…” Jackson hesitates, looking between Jesse and the castle, “I’m going back, Jess, to get my girl! Like you just told me to!”

“Oh my god, you weird foundling, don’t do that now – you’ll look desperate!”

“What!?”

“You’ve got to let her sweat a bit!”

“Whatttt the hell,” Jackson moans, covering his face with his hands for what feels like the thousandth time that night. “Why am I supposed to make her wait!?”

“Because, Jacks,” Jesse says, slipping an arm around his shoulders again and making him slow his pace to the castle. “Ariel did you dirty over the past few months, you need to let her feel a little guilty about it, even if just for a night! If you just barge in there and tell her it’s all okay, then she’ll get the impression that she can do that whenever she wants.”

“How do you know this shit,” Jackson mutters, shaking his head, letting himself be led.

“You handle kicking the shit out of the bad guys,” Jesse says, giving Jackson a broad grin. “I’ll handle the girls. Besides, Rafe and I reserve the right to yell at Ariel tonight. We’ve known her longer, we get first dibs. You come to breakfast at our place tomorrow before the train leaves – really give her a piece of your mind then.”

“If you say so,” Jackson sighs, his eyes moving upwards to the window he knows is hers – or, at least, the one closest to the nook in which she sleeps. There’s still a light on, which means she’s still up.

“Trust me, Jacks,” Jesse says, giving him a little squeeze, “I wouldn’t do you dirty. We’re friends now, after all. Best friends.”

“Don’t push it,” Jackson grumbles. But as the pair walk back into the castle Jackson has to admit…the whole friendship thing, it does have its perks. Even if it involves a lot more talking than he’d prefer.

“So, how’d you know?” Ben murmurs, sitting at the other end of the couch while I stretch my legs between us. He digs into his half-eaten third slice of cake with abandon.

“Benny, my love,” I sigh, lifting another forkful of chocolate icing to my mouth –

“You’d better be careful with that word –“ Ben says, pointing his fork at me with a wink. “Men have been beaten tonight for expressing lesser sentiments –“

“Oh, shut up,” I murmur, rolling my eyes and kicking him, which just makes him laugh. Ben - he’s really been an angel over the past hour or so, cajoling and teasing and being sweet to me by turns, all in the effort to get me back to myself, to make me realize that no permanent damage has been done. After all, all I did was tell the truth.

In…absolutely the most disastrous way possible.

Because I didn’t even tell the truth – I was so much of a coward that I couldn’t even tell my mates the reality of our situation – I had to wait for them to just stumble upon it. God, what the hell is wrong with me –

“Don’t go there,” Ben murmurs, leaning back against the arm of the couch now, as Luca so often does, and tapping my foot with his fork. “You’re betraying the cake, and the insane piece of gossip I just handed you, if you just…ignore it and delve into your despair. Honestly, Ariel, I gave you my best distraction. Sooo? How’d you know?”

“Because,” I sigh. “You laugh at all of Rafe’s jokes, Ben, and he’s not that funny.”

Ben goes still and then bursts out laughing. “Yes, he is!”

“No,” I say, smiling and shaking my head at him. “You’re just listening to him with your love earmuffs on. My mom does it to my dad, from whom Rafe gets his sense of humor.”

“Man,” Ben says, hanging his head back, shaking it. “Both of our greatest secrets, which we thought we were doing such a good job of keeping to ourselves, revealed by our laughter…what are the chances of that.”

I grin at him, but then I lean forward and cock my head. “Benny,” I say, and he lifts his head to smile at me. “Why did you keep it a secret? I mean, you know that I’d never judge you for it, right? And I have no idea if Rafe or Jesse knows, but I know they wouldn’t care –“

“Even if they wouldn’t care, Ari,” Ben murmurs, smirking a little as he pushes his cake around with a fork, “it would…change things, between us.”

“Do you think so?” I murmur, curious, and pleased to be distracted from my own drama, even if just for a minute.

“Yeah, I think it would be different,” Ben says, definite. “I mean…Rafe. He’s not interested in…”

“I don’t know,” I say honestly, raising my eyes to Ben’s face even though he doesn’t look up. “We’ve never talked about whether or not he swings both ways. Though, Ben, I…I don’t think so. Of course, I could be wrong, but…”

“Nah,” Ben says, flicking his eyes up to mine with a little smile. “That’s my impression too. Looks like you got all the luck, huh? Two gorgeous men for you, me…nothing.”

“Benny,” I murmur, leaning forward and rubbing a hand across his knee. “If you…try to pretend you’re jealous of me right now…I’m going to kill you.”

Ben’s face just lights up with a smirk.