Chapter 120

“Yeah,” Jesse says, considering, assessing. “Yeah, Ari, with all of it - I think you did as well as you could.”

“Really?” I ask, kind of shocked.

“Yeah, I agree,” Rafe says with a sigh. I turn my eyes to him. “I mean, you had to get to know them first to know if you even wanted to tell them you were their mate. And then you certainly couldn’t have told one before the other. And if you had told me, I definitely would have gone running off to mom and then dad would have pulled you out of school. The way you handled this was messy but…” he shrugs again. “I get it.”

“Oh god,” I mutter, putting my face into my tired hands with a shaky sigh. “That…that makes me feel so much better.”

“Maybe you could have used the dreamscape,” Jesse murmurs thoughtfully, “and pulled them both in. And then they couldn’t have hurt each other physically, just their dream bodies…”

“Well, in retrospect,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a little glare, “sure, that sounds great, Jess.”

“For your next mate,” he says, waving a flippant hand. “Now you know.”

I smirk at him, but turn my head back to Rafe when he speaks next.

“Tomorrow’s going to be hard, Ari,” he says, peering at me thoughtfully. “They’re going to…they’re going to really lay into you for this. And I do think you owe them apologies and explanations but…I don’t think you should let them make you feel too horrible about it.”

“Really?” I ask as Jesse turns, propping himself up on his elbow to hear what Rafe has to say.

“Yeah,” Rafe says, nodding seriously as he looks between us. “I mean, you’re not just some mean girl who is dating two guys and not telling them about it. You didn’t pick this – you didn’t even pick them! The Goddess gave you these mates, and I think it’s pretty clear that she wanted you to have them both at once.”

I perk up a little to hear it said this way.

“That makes sense,” Jesse says, nodding as well. “The Goddess put all three of you on this road together, and just because Luca and Jackson don’t like it doesn’t make it your fault. You have to remind them of that, Ari – and if they give you any shit about it, then we’ll remind them too.” He raises his fist, smacking it against his other palm with a smirk, letting me know precisely how he intends to remind them.

“Yeah, don’t let them push you around,” Rafe says, frowning now at the idea. “Luca, especially, is going to try to convince you to turn away from your bond with Jackson. But you have every right to explore your bonds with both of your mates, to figure out why the Goddess picked them.”

Jesse nods to himself, deep in thought, speaking his ideas as he figures them out. “I mean, mates are supposed to be a gift – and she’s your grandmother, for heaven’s sake. I don’t think you should be ashamed of this, or feel bad about it, or try to stop it, Ari.”

“I agree,” Rafe says, looking at me evenly. “I think it would be a mistake to reject the Goddess’ gift like that – I think she’d be pissed, and you’d do yourself a disservice. I think you should explore it. While being as fair as you can to Luca and Jackson, of course. It’s not carte blanche to be a jerk to them.”

A deep well of warmth runs through me as I begin to smile, staring at my brother, who is so sweet, and so supportive. Tears again spring to my eyes.

“Oh geeze,” Rafe says with a sigh, reaching out and wiping at my cheeks with his thumb as the tears start to spill out. “What’s all this about? What did I say now?”

“Nothing,” I laugh, shaking my head and tilting it back while I sniff. “You’re just being really nice to me.”

“Of course we’re being nice to you, Ari,” Jesse says with a yawn, reaching out to ruffle my hair like he used to do when we were kids. “You’re our little baby trouble. We love you. We’d be bored without you.”

I grin at the two of them, resting my head against the couch and letting my eyes fall half-shut, so grateful to the two of them for their love and their friendship and their eternal support.

“We got your back, Ariel,” Rafe murmurs, patting my knee. And then we spend the next few hours talking softly, letting our thoughts wander, none of us really making a move to go to bed. Instead, slowly – perhaps simultaneously – we all fall asleep curled up next to each other like we used to do when we were kids. A puppy pile, mom used to call it.

And I think of that, of my mom, and my family, and how much I love the rich warmth of them as I fall asleep next to my two best friends.

Because I get to see the rest of them tomorrow.

And I can barely wait.

I gasp awake when the door flies open behind me, spinning and blinking and trying to figure out if I’m about to die –

“I did it!” Ben shouts, giving a whoop of excited joy as Rafe leaps to his feet, his chest heaving with anxiety. Jesse just groans, turning over on the couch and burying his face in his pillow as I clasp a hand to my throat, trying to figure out if I had a heart attack. “I passed my finals! I get to stay!”

“Too bad you’re going to die in like four seconds, Ben!” Rafe snaps, scowling and striding over to Ben to snatch the piece of paper out of his hand. Ben ignores Rafe, dancing around the room as he pumps his fist in the air.

“I get to stay in school! I passed – I’m an Ambassador now, for real! Or at least, on my way to it!”

“That’s amazing, Ben, I’m very happy for you,” Jesse murmurs into his pillow. “Now shut up. Go away.”

I smile as I watch Rafe collect himself and smile at our friend, reaching out to grab Ben and wrap him into a big hug as he murmurs his congratulations. I grin at Ben, who peers at me over Rafe’s shoulder, watching him take a surreptitious sniff of Rafe’s scent as they break their quick hug.

I push myself to my feet as well, wincing as my stiff muscles unfold. God, sleeping on the floor – what a stupid idea –

“Congrats, Ben,” I say, holding open my arms as I cross the room to him. Rafe lets him go and Ben steps to me, wrapping me in a hug and rocking me back and forth. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Did you get your results?” he asks, eager, looking down at me.

“Um, I don’t know, you kind of woke us up,” I say, looking towards the door. “How did you find out?”

“Slipped under my door this morning,” he says, letting go of me and striding for the still-open door, looking for a piece of paper. He sighs and turns to me, shaking his head.

I scowl, flopping down on the couch and making Jesse yelp when I land on the back of his calves.

“Oh, you baby,” I mutter, “that didn’t hurt.”

“Be gentle with me,” Jesse whines, still burying his face in the pillow and pretending to be asleep. “I’m very delicate and you kept me up all night talking and I haven’t had any coffee –“

I laugh, smacking him on the back even as the dumbwaiter’s bell rings. I turn towards it, eager. “Sounds like coffee’s here anyway.” Even as I watch Rafe and Ben walk eagerly to the dumbwaiter, I can’t help the anxiety that rolls in my stomach.

Why did Ben get his results, but not me?

Is it just because he’s on a different track?

Or…is it because I didn’t pass? Is a different note coming soon, telling me to pack my things for good? Is it going to be –

“Is there enough coffee for one more?”

My head spins immediately to the door at the sound of Luca’s voice, my eyes going wide. Jesse immediately sits up, his sleepy façade gone as he looks at Luca levelly, clearly wondering – as I am – just how upset he still is, and if he’s volatile.

I go completely still, waiting for Luca to give me a sign about how this is going to go.