Chapter 122

I lift my eyebrows in surprise as Luca turns to stares at Jesse, appalled at the accusation. Jesse continues, either pretending not to notice or not caring.

“I mean,” Jesse says, turning his palm up as he talks it through, “unless I’m mistaken, you’ve never told her that you loved her before, right? At least not before last night. And now you’re throwing that word around a lot in a situation where you’re actively asking her for something. It might not be bullying, but it is a little manipulative.” Jesse grimaces and gives a shrug, and I can tell that he’s genuinely not happy to have to deliver the message.

But my jaw drops a little when I realize that…that Jesse’s kind of right on that one. Luca is pulling out the l-word at the same moment when he’s asking me for something really big.

“I can’t believe you’re accusing me of not loving her, of saying that just because I want something –“

“We’re not accusing you of that,” Rafe says, his voice gentler now. “We’re just asking you to play fair, Luca. And to let her make her own decisions about what’s right for her. Even if that’s not what’s right for you.”

“So, you’re all going to take his side,” Luca snaps, drawing away from me now and standing up, clearly wanting a little space. “When obviously I am the better match for Ariel – I can handle her life as a Princess, I’m already your guys’ best friend, I’m completely dedicated to supporting her through this Academy thing and have been for months. How can you not be on my side, after all of this!? We’re – we’re fucking friends!”

“They’re not taking Jackson’s side,” I say quietly folding my hands in my lap and looking up at my mate, my heart sinking because I know he feels so betrayed. “This isn’t about sides, Luca.”

“Screw that, it is about sides,” Jesse snaps, standing up to glare at Luca. But I watch as his face softens, as he forces himself to be kinder. “We’re not on Jackson’s side, but we’re not on yours either, Luca. We’re on Ariel’s side.”

“Always,” Rafe says, his voice likewise gentle and a little sad. “Always Ariel’s side, Luc. I’m…I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but she’s my sister.”

“My best cousin,” Jesse adds, and my heart swells with love at their support.

“And quite frankly,” Rafe continues, his face a little grim. “As her mate? I’d prefer it if you were on her side as well.”

Luca just stares, slack-jawed, at his two best friends before looking down at me. I bite my lip, heartbroken and awkward, my fingers twisted together in my lap. We stare at each other for a long time, and down our bond I feel him questioning, apparently unable to put it into words right now, wanting and needing to know what it is that I’m asking for in this moment.

“The Goddess gave me both of you, Luca,” I say quietly, hoping to hell he hears me on this. “Rafe and Jesse and I – we talked about it last night. And I think it’s right – I’m supposed to have two mates, she gave me both of these bonds for a reason.”

I shake my head, hating that I’m disappointing Luca, but so incredibly grateful that I have my big Alpha brother and cousin here to support me – because if it was just me and Luca? I’m not sure I could find the courage to do this – to deliver the words that I know are going to break his heart.

“What are you saying?” Luca whispers, slow, taking a step closer to look down into my eyes.

“That I’m not going to reject my bond with Jackson,” I whisper, staring up at him, needing him to hear and understand it. “Not just because you want me to.”

Luca groans, tucking his face against his hands like it’s the worst thing he’s ever heard. I’m immediately on my feet, putting a hand on his arm, unable to just sit and watch him grieve like this. Rafe takes a step forward like he’s worried Luca will snap, and shove me or something, but he doesn’t.

Instead, Luca just takes a moment to understand, his body trembling slightly beneath my hand. I stand steadily next to him, letting him process it, bearing witness to his pain. And when he’s ready, Luca drags his hands down from his face and looks at me again. “I don’t know if I can do this, Ariel,” he whispers, shaking his head at me. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Neither do I,” I whisper back, taking a step closer. To my surprise, Luca lifts his arm and wraps it around me, tucking me in against his side, where he likes me. “But we can figure it out together.”

Luca murmurs something I don’t quite hear, raising a hand and cupping my cheek in his palm, staring down at me as he shakes his head in awe and frustration.

“I’m still your mate, Luca,” I whisper, sending all the warmth and assurance that I have down the bond. “That hasn’t changed. You still mean the world to me.”

“It has changed, a little,” he murmurs, studying me. “You know that I really do love you, right? That I wasn’t just saying it to…to manipulate you. I just…I love you so damn much, Ariel, I’d do anything to keep you.”

“I know,” I murmur, nodding and pressing my cheek closer into his palm. “I know, Luca. I know.”

He lowers his face then, pressing a kiss to my mouth like he can’t help it, just as a knock comes at the door.

“Oh, what the hell,” Rafe sighs, turning towards it. Luca tightens his arm around me as Jesse steps to my side, taking the hat off his head and shoving it towards me.

Rafe moves to the door and I pull the cap on, taking a small step away from Luca even though he clearly doesn’t want to let me go. When I nod to him, Rafe pulls open the door.

And my eyebrows arch nearly to my hairline as I see who is standing there.

“Good morning, Cadets,” Dr. Neumann murmurs, his hands folded neatly behind his back as he nods around to each of us. His eyes settle on me, though, and he gives a firm nod. “Cadet Clark? If I may have a word?”

My hands start to shake a little with the anxiety of it because…because why is he here? Ben…Ben got his pass results on a little piece of paper…

Oh my god.

If you fail, do they have to deliver the results in person? Do they have to –

“Clark?” Neumann says, raising an eyebrow, and I realize that I haven’t moved at all – that I’ve just been staring at him. He turns slightly, tilting his head towards the hall, an invitation.

“Um, that’s okay,” I say, taking a few steps forward so that I’m standing in front of him, but not going out into the hall. “They can listen, I don’t mind.” Because if he tells me that I failed, I am definitely, definitely going to need my family to catch me when I fall to pieces.

Neumann sighs, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at me. “You and your social life, Cadet Clark. It’s what’s holding you back, after all.”

My stomach drops and I hang my head, because that can only mean…

“I came to tell you that you came out with the top marks in the Espionage class, Cadet Clark,” he says, his voice brisk, words clipped.

I freeze, because…

I mean, I have to have misheard him, right?

My head snaps up and I stare at my professor, completely shocked.

“Top marks on the Chemistry examination, top marks in your marksmanship class.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “Far and away, our highest-ranking Cadet this year in our program.”

“But I…” I sputter.

“You’re a very promising student, Clark,” Neumann says, and my face bursts into a smile when I see the corners of his mouth beginning to turn up, realizing that he’s rather enjoying his little prank. “We will be expecting great things from you in the spring, and if you could just concentrate instead of having so many dinner parties you could truly make a difference in this world and in this war –“

But Neumann doesn’t get any further in his scolding, because I let out a little shriek and throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and giving him an impulsive hug. “Thank you!” I gasp, desperately happy and thrilled and excited all at once. “Thank you so much, Dr. Neumann!”

He freezes for a second but then he lets out a slow chuckle and, to my surprise, gently places his arms around me and gives me a little squeeze. “All right, Cadet, that’s enough affection,” he murmurs. “I’m your teacher, after all, not one of your many friends.”

I laugh, loosening my arms and smiling up at him as I take a step back. “Why were you so mean to me all semester!?” I ask, impulsive.