Chapter 159

“What’s wrong with Jacks?” I ask, a little frantic, turning to look her in the face.

“See?” mom says, sitting up with a grin and pointing her finger at me, poking me in the chest. “The fact that you keep assuming something is wrong with him tells me that you know something is up too.”

“That’s not a ridiculous assumption to make when someone says they want to talk about someone, mom,” I say, glaring at her a little and slumping back against the pillows, taking the last sip of my coffee and putting the cup on my bedstand.

“I know, but you did it at breakfast when he wasn’t there, too. He’s a big, powerful Alpha, Ariel – why do you assume he can’t take care of himself?”

I sigh, pressing my hands together and screwing my mouth to the side as I consider my mom, who is so pretty, and considerate, and kind. But I know that she’s asking for a reason, and I don’t know how much Jackson told her, or how much he’d want me to reveal. “Well, Jackson’s kind of…” I hesitate, not knowing what to say.

“He’s precious, isn’t he?” Mom says with a little smile, staring at me with a whole heap of love in her eyes.

“So, you see it too?” I ask, leaning forward a bit. She nods. “He’s so…you’re right, mom, he’s so powerful, but he’s so delicate too – like he totally doesn’t understand this world, and he doesn’t know how to move around in it, and he’s so hungry for someone to love him – but I don’t even think he knows that. I just feel…very protective of him.”

“Oh, baby,” mom sighs, beaming at me and reaching out to pat my cheek. “I’m so glad you see it too.”

“How could I miss it?” I say, a little awed.

“Well,” she says, with a shrug. “I think…pretty much everyone else in his life has missed it. He’s so…rugged. I think people just assume that what’s inside matches the outside.” She pauses a minute, considering. “He told me a little bit about where he comes from. It…it doesn’t sound good.”

“What did he tell you?” I ask, fascinated and curious, glad she knows so that we can talk about it.

“A little about the Community, about not having parents. Most of it came out when I was getting him new clothes –“

I laugh, and she does too, and I can just imagine how funny, awkward, and sweet my mate was when mom was putting him through his fashion paces.

“But,” she says, “did you know he’s like…never chosen his clothing before?”

“No,” I say quietly, resting my head back against the pillow, a little awed by it.

“Yeah,” she says, nodding, her eyes a bit far-off. “His entire life Jackson’s just worn whatever was provided to him – a tradition we continued at the Academy. When I gave him his new wardrobe, he asked which piece he should wear next, and I said whatever you want, and he looked at me like I was crazy.”

“Did you pick out his outfit today?” I whisper, kind of dying to know.

“Nah,” she says, grinning at me. “I gave him some hints about how to put together colors, and I left him with some fashion magazines. But he successfully put together a button-down and some jeans today. Clever boy.”

We both laugh then, but there’s no malice in it. Just a great deal of love between two people who care about someone who is trying very hard.

“He’s so sweet,” I murmur, dropping my head a little to hide my ridiculous smile.

“He is,” mom says, and the slight hardness to her voice makes me look up at her again. She looks at me seriously now and my smile falls away. “I won’t have you breaking his heart, Ariel.”

My mouth pops open a little, because – well, one, because I have no intention of doing that. And two – “Wait,” I say, voicing my protestation aloud, “aren’t I your daughter!? Shouldn’t you be saying that to him!?”

Mom laughs now, unable to help it. “Jackson doesn’t need to be told not to break your heart, Ariel.” I open my mouth again to protest, but she holds up a hand, asking me to let her finish. I scowl, and snap my jaw shut. “But baby, you’ve got a team behind you – a whole world of support. Luca does too. If either of you get your heart broken, you’ve got people to fall back on. Jackson…” she lets her words fade off here, because I know how they end.

And my heart sinks, thinking of the reality of that. Thinking that my sweet Jacks – he’s really got no one in his life to hold him and coddle him and be his safety net. Well, almost no one.

“He’s got us,” I whisper, looking into my mom’s eyes, which I know are precisely the same shade as mine. “Which…I mean, it isn’t nothing, mom. We’re formidable.”

“It’s true,” she says, a slow grin coming over her face. “Pint sided, but formidable.”

We both laugh again, and she strokes my cheek. “I love you so much baby,” she whispers, “I just…I care a great deal about that boy already.”

“Why?” I ask, a little curious.

She just grins at me. “An orphan boy, looking for a mom? Who wants a family, but doesn’t even know how to ask for it? Come on, baby trouble,” she murmurs, and I immediately put the pieces together – and I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. “Jackson’s basically my catnip – I can’t resist wanting to give him everything I didn’t have.”

“Mommm,” I groan, scooting closer to her over the bed and wrapping my arms around her, putting my head down on her chest as she tugs me close. “You’re so nice. Thank you for taking care of him. And I promise, I’ll be careful. He’s very important to me.”

“I know he is sweetie, and I know that it’s not easy for you. I know it’s complicated, with Luca too. Just…try to remember that Jackson’s kind of an island. And that he’s putting a great deal on the line, loving you.”

“Do you think I’ve done a bad job so far?” I ask, kind of terrified to hear her answer.

“Not at all, baby,” she says, “this is all…for the future. Because I don’t think it gets simpler for the three of you. I think…well, I think there are going to be hard times.”

I nod, agreeing, kind of dreading it. And inwardly, I solidify my promise to be on Jackson’s side, even when things get hard. Because mom’s right – in some cases, I’m the only one there.

Mom presses a kiss to my forehead and then reaches for my bedside table again, where she slides the drawer open and pulls something out. “Speaking of the future,” she murmurs, putting a little green bottle into my hand. “This should set you up well to…make whatever plans you want to.”

“Huh?” I ask, staring at it. And then my eyes go wide when I realize what it is. “Oh,” I say, a little…at a loss for words.

I’ve seen a bottle like this before – mom keeps it in her bedside table too. The day I figured out that it’s a contraceptive tonic – a mild and specific variety of wolfsbane, combined with ginger and wild carrot – I had blushed for days at the idea that mom still needed it. But when mom had finally confronted me on why I was being so weird around her, we’d had a really good chat about sex, and pregnancy, and reproductive health.

“I think you should start taking it,” mom says, thoughtful. “I mean, obviously, the choice is up to you. But there’s nothing wrong or bad or shameful about sex, Ariel, even if…well, if your mate situation makes it a little more complicated. But considering your choice of career, I don’t think you want a baby right now –“

“No, I don’t,” I confirm, my eyebrows raised. God, it sure would be hard to pretend I’m a boy at Alpha Academy with a big pregnant belly to give me away.

“Not that I would protest that!” mom says, putting her hands up.

I gape a little, staring up at her.

“Listen, baby,” mom says, grinning at me, “the sooner you want to give me a grandchild – or eight – the better, as far as I’m concerned –“

“Mommm!” I groan, tilting my head back so far that I fall back on the bed. I use the new position to kick at her lightly, embarrassed and kind of appalled at the idea. A baby! A grandchild for my parents! God, I haven’t even thought of something like that.