Chapter 179

No, the way I’m coming apart right now has…absolutely everything to do with this quiet moment, of being alone with Jackson in his dark room and knowing that no part of me his hidden from him right now. That I’m his, if he wants me, every piece of me, body and soul.

And Jackson, to my delight, claims me. Eagerly, like I’m all he’s ever wanted his whole life.

He gives me a small smile and holds my gaze as he lowers his face to my stomach. Then he dips his head and presses a soft kiss there, just below my navel. I raise a hand and run it through his silky hair, letting it slip through my fingers, just…adoring him.

And there’s no need to pass any of these feelings down our bond – because it’s all already open. What I feel, he feels. And to me, he gives precisely the same.

That little kiss to my stomach – it’s as far as we go, physically, sexually. But the way that we connect as Jackson takes his time working his way all the way up my body, touching every inch of me, caressing my skin, noting every freckle and bend of my flesh, making sure every piece of me receives his scent?

God, I’ve never felt so connected to anyone in my entire life. So claimed, so wanted, so treasured.

When he’s finished, Jackson gathers me into his arms in the quiet dark of his room and quietly slips the little diamond clips out of my hair. “These are very pretty,” he murmurs, reaching over to put them on his bedside table. “But…tonight, I like you without. Just you, no adornments.”

I hum my assent, agreeing, wanting to just be myself with him tonight. Nothing fancy, nothing extra. Just me, and my Jacks, and his arms around me.

I trace my fingers softly along his spine as he dips his head, pressing a kiss low on my neck, in that soft place just between my neck and my shoulder. And I smile, loving the feel of it, loving him.

And then my eyes drift shut, and I know his do too, right at the same time.

And just like that, quite simply.

We fall asleep.

When my eyes flutter open the next morning, I’m confused for a second, but then I break into a grin. Because even though I fell asleep on my side on the mattress, with my head pressed into one of mom’s very expensive down pillows, I’ve woken up sprawled across Jackson’s stomach and chest, just as I did during the Examination.

I smile, letting my eyes drift back shut, nuzzling my face closer to his bare chest and curling closer to him, even though that’s a little impossible. Jackson’s flat on his back, one arm wrapped protectively around me, the other flung out over the mattress. His mouth hangs open a little, adorably, as he breathes deeply. And I can feel each of those breaths raising, lightly, against my body.

Honestly, I should be waking my with a crick in my neck and sore muscles from such a strange position. But, really, I feel more rested and comfortable than I’ve maybe ever felt. Which is saying something, considering how much we all had to drink last night.

I’m basking quietly in the warmth of him in the still-dark room – Jackson has his curtains pulled shut, even though I can see a little sunlight peeking through – when I feel him twitch, slightly, and I feel him wake up. I grin at the sensation, which is so new and delightful, and only possible because our bond is so open to each other after last night. We’re so connected to each other right now that when my little wolf turns her sleepy head and stretches out her nose, she rests it on Jackson’s wolf’s paw. His wolf grumbles sleepily and turns his nose towards her so their muzzles nearly touch.

I open my eyes again, and tilt my head up, grinning when I see Jacks peering at me a little blearily in the morning light.

Down our bond, I pass a warm and happy hello, pleased and quiet and comforted.

Jacks, to my surprise, just snarls and grabs me tighter to his chest, turning on his side and taking me with him so that we’re laying face-to-face against the pillows. I burst out laughing as he shakes his head, pressing his eyes shut again.

“No,” he murmurs, angry. “We’re not up. It’s not morning. You’re imagining it – go back to sleep.”

“Nooo, baby,” I say softly, laughing and reaching out to stroke his cheek. “We have to get up! There’s a whole day waiting for us. And pancakes. And coffee. And little raspberry pastries.”

He groans, slipping a hand down my back so that it settles at the dip of my spine, pulling me tight against him so that our bellies are flush. A warm rush pulses through me as I loop my leg over his, because I love that – love how he wants every inch of his skin pressed to mine, just as I want it too.

“No,” he mutters, stubborn, shaking his head. But then he pauses, considering. “Well, the raspberry pastries…we can have those. But someone can bring them here, and slide them under the door, and then we’ll eat them in bed.”

“Okay, baby,” I whisper, pleased, still stroking his hair and his face. “Whatever you want.”

A little smile grows on his lips when I say that, and his eyes open, moving slowly over my face. “I like this,” he murmurs, nodding. “Waking up with you here, in my bed. We should do this…every day.”

“You don’t mind that I apparently sleep on top of you?” I ask, grinning.

“No, I like that,” he answers, his voice all growly and rough.

“You don’t mind me passed out on your chest? Collapsing your ribcage in the night, making it all hard to breathe?”

“You are light, like a sparrow,” he murmurs, leaning forward to press a kiss to my cheek even as I laugh. “Plus, I liked feeling you there, when I would wake up. The weight of you - it makes you feel…very real. Not like a dream.”

“Do I sometimes feel like a dream?” I ask, my voice wandering a little, my thoughts still sleepy and disconnected.

“You’ve always been a dream,” Jackson replies, easy, like it’s a fact. “It’s only when I have you here, warm against me, that I have proof that you’re real. That I didn’t just make you up.”

I smile, shaking my head, hardly able to take the sweetness of him as I wrap my arms tight around his neck and pull him as close as I can. Jackson growls again, liking it, turning again and taking me with him so that we get all tangled up in the sheets, so that I’m again laying on his chest and looking down into his face. My hair falls around us, a little, making a private curtain. He tucks one side back behind my ear, wanting to see me.

“I don’t deserve you, Jacks,” I say on a happy sigh, relaxing against him as I gaze down into his face. “No one does. You’re too good and sweet.”

“What a ridiculous thing to say,” he murmurs, raising a hand to cup my cheek. “When we’re all aware that you’re way out of my league, Ariel.”

I burst out laughing, shaking my head at him. “Jackson!” I protest, smacking him lightly on the chest. “Why would you even think that!?”

“Because you’re a brave, talented, beautiful, charming princess who is clever as a fox. And I don’t even know what a walk-in closet is.”

I burst out laughing at this, tilting my head back and glancing over at the door to the closet, which I’m sure my mom has already filled with clothes. “Minor details, baby,” I whisper, turning back to smile down into his face. “Knowledge of interior architecture aside, you’re perfect.”

Jackson grumbles discontentedly but wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me down so that my face rests again against his chest, where we started. Long moments pass and I feel my mind start to drift back to sleep, completely comfortable. Which is why Jackson’s next words startle me so completely.

“I think that Luca…” he murmurs, awake and thoughtful, clearly musing aloud, “makes more sense than I do, as your mate, your match. At least on paper, as they say.”

My eyes immediately fly open and I sit up a little, staring into Jackson’s face.

“What?” I breathe, shocked, appalled. Because Luca is wonderful, but Jackson – I never, ever want him to doubt our connection. “What…where is this coming from, Jacks!? Why the hell would you say that!?”

He raises a hand to my cheek then, cupping it, looking at me a little sadly. “I saw everything last night, Ariel,” he says, his words an apologetic whisper. “Every moment of the fight, and what you did to help him. And what you were like…with him. I saw…the way he made you smile.”