Chapter 181

And my mate complies, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck as he brings his mouth to mine, where it belongs, and lays his body out on top of me. My leg hooks up over his hip, where it likes to be, and I kiss my mate rather desperately, with abandon. Half because I want him – always want him, franticly want him – and half because I need him to know it.

A groan slips from between Jackson’s lips as he presses himself tighter against me. He kisses me again and again, and with each kiss we sink deeper into each other as his palm slides hard against my skin, up over my rib cage to cup my breast for the first time. A shiver passes through me as he does, because even though I’ve been topless with him for hours now, this is the first time he’s seriously acknowledged it.

I tilt my head back at the intensity of it, of Jackson’s broad hand against me, of his calloused thumb rushing light across my nipple. He takes advantage, kissing my throat, running his tongue along the length of it. The shivers come harder now, more frequent, as my hips press up against him, wanting him, wanting him badly, losing my mind with it, as I always seem to do.

And all the while, I’m thinking that Jackson – he’s mine. And even if he has this ridiculous idea that Luca is the one who is right for me, that Luca makes sense in a way that he does not…

Jackson? He is mine, and I claim him, and see every inch of him as a match for me –

“I don’t think that,” Jackson says, pulling back a little, frowning down at me. I pant up at him, confused for a second and he shakes his head at me, wrapping his arms around me so that one is tight around my waist and the other moves up between my shoulders, cradling my head and trapping me against him in a way I love. “I don’t think that Luca is right for you, Ariel.”

I blink at him, a little surprised – because usually, we don’t do words down our bond. But I guess it’s so open now that he caught on – that he can feel what I’m feeling, even without words being put to it.

“Wait,” I say, confused and honestly a little too much in a makeout-induced haze to think straight, “then what do you think?”

He shakes his head again, staring at me intently, like it’s the most important thing he’s ever said. “I said that Luca looks like he makes more sense for you, on paper – that you seem like the better match. I think that Luca’s done a great job of convincing the tabloids that you’re a perfect pair,” he says, smirking a little now. And I can’t help it, I smirk a bit too. “But that when it comes to the reality of you, Ariel? All of your complexities? All of your twists, and turns, and the woman you’re growing into, the person you’ll become?”

I go a little still in his arms because…what is he saying? Does Jackson really see me this way?

His smile broadens, and then he nudges his nose against mine, wolfish and heated and sweet. “He can’t handle you,” he whispers.

My face breaks into a challenging grin. “What, McClintock,” I murmur. “And you think you can?”

“Yeah,” he whispers, instant, with a smug little grin. “I think I can, Clark. I think I’m going to enjoy…handling you.”

I groan then, and basically grab him, pulling his face to mine and making him kiss me again. My mate laughs and complies, laying me back down flat on the bed and kissing me hard, and fast, matching my desire and my desperation.

Because that’s what I am now, for better or for worse – just…desperate for Jacks, to feel him, every inch of him.

My body sings, and I let him feel it, when he slides his hand long down the length of my side, dipping behind me and grabbing a handful of my ass. He groans, tucking his head down against my shoulder like he can’t handle it, but his body moves forward despite him. Jackson, in a break from his usual restraint, lets his hips shift forward so that I can feel every long, hard inch of him, pressed tight between my legs.

And then, groaning deeply, Jackson flexes his hips just once, sliding the length of his cock against me. And when I feel how thick, and heavy, and ready he is –

I fucking lose my mind.

I wrap both of my legs around his waist then, panting, my head tilted back so that Jackson has full access to my neck, bared before him. He licks me there again, and then presses his teeth against the soft skin, his canines just slightly extended to points. And I know – I know he wants to mark me –

Wants to sink himself deep into me, and bite me, and mark me as his own, and fuck me for hours – because I can feel it down the bond – and I want that –

I want it right now, immediately –

My hand slips down between us, pushing hard at the waistband of his pajamas –

But then I go still, my mouth gaping, as Jackson groans and pulls away from me, whispering my name.

I go still, staring at him for a second, not knowing –

But when I see the apology, and the hesitance on his face…

And I realize that Jackson is not going to be fucking me today…

I groan, and cover my face with my hands, and tilt my head slightly away from him. “You. Are. Killing me, McClintock,” I whisper.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he replies, laughing a little bit and shifting his hips away. My wolf howls, outraged, desperately unhappy, jumping up and nipping his wolf hard below the jaw. But his wolf just growls, and takes her ruff lightly between his teeth, giving her a little shake. She glares up at him, but complies, behaving, even as a growl rumbles in her chest.

I shift my hands down from my face, staring at him, still panting a little. And he’s still there, mostly on top of me, staring down at me and smiling his apology. But the lower half of his body has been shifted away, which is not what I wanted at all.

But honestly, why?

I don’t understand, and I shake my head, and I know he feels it – my plea for an explanation.

“Don’t take it that way,” he murmurs, reaching out and petting my cheek softly. “I want you too, Ariel. This is not at all one-sided.”

“Um!” I snap, sitting up a little to stare into his face. “It’s feeling a little one-sided at the moment, Jacks!”

He grins at me, I think a little pleased at how much I want him, but he nudges me down the bond and urges me to feel everything that he’s feeling too – and as I do, I see that he does want me as badly as I want him – that he’s just as consumed by lust.

He’s just way, way better at controlling it.

“Stupid warriors,” I murmur, falling back on the pillows with a sigh. “And your stupid discipline.”

“Espionage is supposed to be disciplined too,” he reminds me, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

“Selectively! When they have to be!” I reach out for him then, taking his face in my hands, making him look at me. “Why, Jacks? When I want to, and you want to…why wait? What’s the point?”

“I want it to be right, Ariel,” he says softly.

And when he says it that way – so sweet, so simple…

God, I feel like such a jerk.

“Stop!” he bursts out, laughing, smiling and shaking his head at me. “Stop feeling so guilty – I’m the one putting the brakes on things. I should be apologizing to you.”

“Well, yes, obviously, you should,” I growl, crossing my arms and giving him a glare I don’t mean. He grins at me, and leans forward to press a kiss to my lips. “Jackson,” I murmur, wiggling down on the mattress so that I’m closer to him, so that I can stare up into his face. “If I’m rushing you, and you want to wait, then of course I’m okay with that. But…can you help me understand?” I shake my head. “I don’t get it.”

“I just…don’t want to move so fast,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to each of my cheeks. “We have time – plenty of it. And I could pose the same question to you. Why are you in such a rush to lose your virginity?”

I laugh a little, finding the question a bit ironic coming from him. “What, and you’re not?”

Jackson hesitates for a second, staring at me.

And then I gasp, and go perfectly still for a second, staring up at my mate.

“Ariel…” he murmurs, tilting his head to the side, almost awkward.

“Oh my god!” I gasp again, sitting up fast and nearly banging my head against his in my scramble to press myself hard against the headrest of the bed as I stare at him, gathering the sheets up to my chest in my shock.

Jackson sits up too, giving me a little grimace and shrugging his shoulders, just slightly.

“Jackson…” I whisper, gaping at him. “Are you…are you not a virgin!?”