Chapter 237

I follow Ben as he strides confidently towards the large circular desk at the center of the room. The librarian – a younger man than I thought would have the job – glances up at us but then does a double take when he sees Ben. He groans a little, leaning against the reference desk.

“What is it this time?”

“I’d like the key to special collections, please,” Ben says, giving a rather devastating and playful smile as he holds out his hand. I watch in wonder, not used to this extra-charming side of him.

“Ben,” the librarian sighs, shaking his head. “I know you’re not doing research –“

“I am too!” Ben says, laughing and dropping his hand to the desk as he grins at the librarian. I look back and forth between them, curious. “There are manuscripts up there regarding the fifteenth century negotiations which established Atalaxia as an independent nation –“

“A formation you don’t even need to study until next term –“ the librarian growls, calling his bluff.

“In this time of war,” Ben says, likewise leaning forward, a pleased and clever smirk on his lips. “All knowledge of Atalaxia is useful.”

The librarian groans again but rolls his eyes and reaches beneath the desk, lifting up large brass key and dropping it into Ben’s waiting hand. “One period. And if you leave coffee cups up there again, Ternicki, I swear to god I’m revoking your rights –“

“Thanks!” Ben says, snatching the key away and waving over his shoulder as he strides off.

“Don’t fall in love with him,” the librarian says as he turns to me, his voice dry. “His heart is elsewhere.” My eyes go wide to be so advised, but the librarian turns away from me without another glance and I turn quickly to hurry after Ben, desperately curious about what the hell all of that was.

“Benny!” I whisper, grabbing at his sleeve as he starts up a spiraling brass staircase. “Where are we going!? That guy thinks we’re going somewhere to make out! How do you know him?”

“We’re going to Special Collections,” Ben says, turning his head to smile down at me and ignoring my other questions. “Hurry up, we don’t have a ton of time.”

Together we wind our way up a staircase so sharply curved that it takes every bit of my attention to not slip and slide all the way back down to the bottom. At the top, Ben quickly slips the key into a red door that’s set flat into the ceiling. He pushes up on it and continues to climb through, disappearing into the room above.

I eagerly follow, my jaw dropping open when I see the room that awaits us.

It’s tiny – miniscule, really – but stunning. Each of the walls is glass, as is the pointed ceiling above us. As I climb into the room and Ben shuts and locks the door after me, I realize that we’re in the greenhouse’s glass cupola – an incredibly small space. Ranged all around it are carefully built book cases which have tinted glass on their fronts, instead of being open to the sunlight.

“What…what is this…” I breathe.

“It’s where the Academy keeps its manuscripts,” Ben says, flopping into a leather chair by a desk in the middle of the room and gesturing to its twin on the other side. “Florescent lights have more UV light than daylight, so they’re kept up here where they’re safe.”

“Is that…true?” I ask, wrinkling my nose a bit at the amount of sunlight streaming into the room.

“Oh, who cares,” Ben says on a happy sigh. “It’s cool up here.”

“How did you find this?” I breathe, settling down into the chair and taking a moment to look through each of the windows that surrounds us – that looks out over the incredible countryside that surrounds the Academy. The view is…stunning.

“Ambassadors have more study time than anyone else,” Ben says with a shrug. “I spend a lot of time here while the other boys are beating the crap out of each other and you’re learning to shoot tin cans off of fence posts.”

I grin at his glib description of our specializations and then turn my head to the side. “That librarian seems to know you well.”

His smile spreads. “Yeah. We hook up sometimes.”

“What!?” I laugh, delighted and aghast at once, because I honestly didn’t consider that Ben had a social life outside of our friend group. And suddenly I’m a little disappointed in myself for believing that – because of course he does. Ben – he’s very social and lovely. Of course others have caught onto that.

“Judge me not, Ariel, that librarian is cute. And not all of us are on a sex ban right now,” he says, dry, laughing a little. “Don’t hold the rest of us to your ridiculous standards. There’s a lot of hooking up at this Academy – just not in your room.”

I ignore his glib remark – because honestly, they’re Luca and Jackson’s standards, not mine – and look at him curiously. “So are the rest of the Cadets hooking up…with each other?”

“Some are,” Ben says, giving a little shrug. “The rest go down to Newtown to meet girls.”

I just stare at him, a little agape. He stares back for a second before he bursts out laughing.

“You seriously haven’t even heard of Newtown?” he asks, leaning forward to stare at me. “Ariel. You let those boys keep you too sheltered.”

“Well, I didn’t even know I was being sheltered!” I burst out, throwing my hands out to the side. “What the hell is Newtown!?”

“It’s not really a town,” Ben says, grinning, I think a little delighted that he gets to be the one to dispossess me of my naiveté. “More of like…a camp? I mean, the roads are made of dirt, the buildings were thrown up hastily ten or twenty years ago and were not made to last. But there are bars there – and girls. Some looking to meet Academy guys, some for hire, if you know what I mean. And then some Cadets’ girlfriends and wives live there full time, though that’s all kept very much on the down low. Cadets sneak out to go there at night, or go on weekends in second year, when we’re allowed to leave the Castle.”

My mouth falls open a bit because…well, because I’ve never even thought of sneaking out of the Castle.

“Have you gone?” I ask, turning sharp eyes on Ben.

“Nah,” he says, stretching his arms above his head. “I’m kept entertained enough here.”

“Can I go?”

He bursts out laughing again. “Why would you want to do that!?”

“Because,” I say, eager, leaning forward towards him. “I want to see it! It’s fascinating! I want to go to the bars and meet the women.”

“You sheltered girls,” Ben says, teasing and shaking his head. “Always the most curious. It’s not like, nice, Ariel. It can be dangerous.”

“Yeah well, I’m dangerous now too.” I say, smug, leaning back in my chair and making Ben’s grin deepen. “Or at least I’m going to be soon.”

“I have no doubts,” he murmurs.

I sigh happily, relaxed in my chair, looking around the room and out the windows. “Thank you for bringing me here,” I say quietly. “I like it a lot.”

“I like it too,” he says, his expression softening. “I come here a lot by myself to study – it’s the quietest place in the castle. And…” he shrugs. “I’ve been here with the librarian a couple of times.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him. “Are things…serious with you two?”

“Nah,” Ben says immediately, shaking his head. “I always made it clear that my feelings were elsewhere. And while I initially meant Rafe…” he sighs and looks away out the window. “Everything is different now.”

I follow Ben’s gaze and realize that he’s looking south and east.

Towards Atalaxia.

Towards his mate.

My heart sinks for him, because I don’t know how he stands it. Even if things were confusing with my mates when I first found them, at least they were always around where I could see them – sleeping in the same room as me, in fact, for the first few weeks.

But the idea of recognizing your mate from across the room? And realizing they’re your enemy? And then watching them leave the palace, and the country, for good?

God, I don’t know how he handles any of it.

“Ben?” I ask, my voice soft. He turns his head back to me. “Will you tell me what happened?”

He sighs, his usually cheerful expression falling as he looks down into his lap.

And then, Ben begins.