Chapter 263

Twenty minutes later, when we’re fully ensconced in the dreamscape and sitting quietly on the side of the cliff, Jackson looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Well?”

I sigh, letting my exhaustion take me as I look up into Jackson’s sapphire eyes. “Rafe got dumped. At least, I think he did. I mean, I’m pretty sure.”

Jackson just stares at me, his lips parting in his disbelief.

I bite my lip, waiting for him to process it. But he just stays…completely still. “Jacks?” I ask, my face screwing up in confusion. “Are you…okay?”

He starts a little, coming back to himself, blinking rapidly for the first time in like, an entire minute. “I mean…what? Daphne – she broke up with him? Why? Are you sure?”

I shrug. “She kind of…implied that that’s what was going to happen, and considering how Rafe looked when he just came back to the room…yeah, Jacks. I’m sure.”

He exhales like the air has gone completely out of him, deflated. “Wow, I…I can’t believe she did that. What is she even thinking? Rafe is…Rafe is so great.”

I smile a little, slipping my hand into his. “Yeah, but she…didn’t love him, Jacks. She didn’t feel that way about him.”

He turns to me with a frown. “Well, why not?”

I grin. “Because she didn’t,” I say, leaning forward and shaking my head at him. “You can’t control your heart, Jacks – no matter how great a person is, like Rafe.”

He frowns like he doesn’t believe me, or just doesn’t get it.

“What,” I say, giving him a little nudge down the bond. “What are you thinking? What about that doesn’t make sense?”

“I just…” he sighs and looks evenly at me. “I don’t get it. Rafe is a great person. I don’t see what Daphne thinks is lacking.”

“It’s not about lacking,” I say quietly. “It’s just…about who is a match for her. Like with me and you – we each know the other has faults, but,” I shrug, “we click. Obviously.”

Jackson frowns at me like I’m a little crazy. “Wait, you see faults in me?”

I burst out laughing, totally confused about how he got there from what I just said.

He grins too suddenly, I think realizing the ridiculousness of the conversation, and then he quickly gathers me up in his arms, shaking his head as he looks down at me. “Ariel, you’re an absolutely perfect person – even if you weren’t my mate, I’d fall in love with you the second I saw you –“

“The second you realized I was a girl, you mean,” I say, narrowing my eyes a little, even as I smile.

“Sure, the moment your elaborate subterfuge ended, I would just be…gone,” he says, rocking me back a little in his arms, making my heart sing with joy as I fist my hands in his shirt, needing something to hold onto as I completely allow myself to be swept away.

“What does that have to do with Daphne?” I ask, letting my eyes flutter shut.

“It means that…” he sighs, “I know that I’m wrong, but I can’t help thinking she’s a little foolish. Rafe – he’s nearly as good as you, as far as great people go –“

I laugh, opening my eyes and looking up at him again.

“And I just…don’t get it.”

“He wasn’t meant for her, Jacks,” I murmur, reaching up to cup his cheek in my palm, loving the new stubble that’s growing there. “It’s different.”

“Even if you weren’t meant for me,” he says, quiet seriously, bringing his face close to mine. “Even if I had another mate I would…dump her. When I met you. Because after you, how could another girl ever meet that new standard?”

I burst out laughing again, tugging him closer, loving him even if he’s being ridiculous.

“This is nonsense, Jacks –“

“It is not,” he insists.

I sigh, looking seriously up at him. “Okay, I give in,” I murmur, raising my chin, wanting a kiss and the end to all this talking. “But even if you don’t get it…be nice to Daphne, okay? She…needed to do this. It felt right to her heart.”

“Okay,” Jackson says, nodding and dipping his head to run his cheek along mine. Shivers run through me at the way his stubble rushes against my skin. “I’ll be nice. But….” he pulls away a little bit, studying me.

“What?” I ask.

But he just shakes his head, frowning for a moment. “Nothing.”

“No, Jackson,” I say, pulling away a second. “What?”

“Nothing,” he whispers, his face suddenly a little said. “I was…going to ask you for a promise you couldn’t keep. So. I won’t ask it.”

I tighten my hands in his shirt, desperate to know what it is that he wants, desperate to give it to him –

But how seriously he looks at me right now? I exhale slowly and let it pass. Let him have his secret.

“Please,” I whisper, a little desperate to move on from this, tugging him closer to me. “Please kiss me, Jacks.”

He leans forward then, pressing his mouth to mine, kissing me long and slow. And as he does, I’m well aware that whatever he asked me for in this moment I’d give to him – no matter how much, or how unfair. And in the distance of the dreamscape, somewhere, my wolf howls –

Because she, too, knows that it’s the truth.

Jackson and I kiss for a long time after that, serious and intent, slow – none of our usual eager joking, or laughter, or experiments. Instead, he just holds me close and we pass a great deal of emotion across our bond – devotion and sincerity and assurance.

Because honestly, I think the situation between Rafe and Daphne freaked us both out – reminded us that…relationships can end.

And that both he and Luca have asked me to end one of my relationships.

So, at some point…it’s going to have to happen, for me at least. And even though he tries to hide it away, I can feel that Jackson is hoping with quite real desperation that it’s not him who has to collapse into his bed like Rafe did tonight.

That…that he’s worried that losing me might actually kill him.

“Don’t think that,” I say, my lower lip shaking a little as I break our kiss, holding on to him quite tight like he might fly away.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, dropping his head, I think a bit ashamed that I sensed that worry.

“It’s – don’t be sorry, Jacks,” I murmur, stroking my hands through his hair. “Just – you don’t need to think about it, okay? It’s…”

I hold myself before I say “it’s not going to happen,” even though that’s truly what I’m thinking and feeling. Because if I say that – say that out loud to him, and mean it – promise it - doesn’t that mean that I’ve chosen him? That I’m leaving Luca?

And I am absolutely not at all ready to do that.

Jackson turns his head away from me, in turn sensing more than I want him to, and I sigh, falling back a bit on the soft grass on which we’re laying.

“Can we…just change the subject, Jacks?” I say quietly, rubbing a hand up and down his arm. “It’s been a lot tonight – a lot of emotion. We can face it again when we feel…clearer.”

He nods, I think hoping that I’m right, and then he exhales and turns towards me, doing his very best to move on as I suggest.

“What do you want to talk about instead?” he says, a little smile coming to his mouth, running a hand down the length of my body – apparently not done touching me, even if we have taken a break from the kissing.

“Hmm,” I say, breaking into a grin when I immediately stumble onto a topic – one that surprises even me. Jacks, sensing my cheer, leans into it, likewise wanting the distraction. “I can think of something,” I say, quite low and teasing, wiggling my hips a little as his hand slips down over them.

“Oh yeah?” he murmurs, coming closer so his body leans over mine in that way I particularly like. “Think of what?”

“Come here,” I whisper, crooking a finger towards him.

Jacks lowers his head and I take his face in my hands – his gorgeous face, so precious to me – and tilt his head to the side, bringing my lips quite close to his ear.

“Jacks,” I whisper, breathy and light. “Can you…”

He growls, low in his throat, ready to say yes to whatever I ask.

I grin, unable to help myself. “Can you teach me to read battle schematics? Like you did with Luca tonight?”

I feel Jackson’s utter surprise as he bolts up straight, staring at me like I’m crazy. “What!?”

And I can’t help it – I burst out laughing, rocking back and forth with it while Jacks holds me in his arms.