Chapter 266

When the bottle comes around to me I’m ready for it, taking my own long drink, but the boys have already moved on.

“Wait so,” Jesse asks, eyes on Jackson, “how did you know how to do that?”

Jackson sighs and gives a brief summary of his magic for Jesse’s sake, and then elaborates for all of us. “When my magic first manifested as a kid, I just used to lay in bed with energy pounding through me – I couldn’t sleep for weeks.” He sighs, hanging his head and putting his forehead in his hand. “I got really skinny and was ravenous all the time – and no one had figured out what was up with my magic yet, so they didn’t figure out that I needed a lot of food if I was going to burn energy like that. So, I just had to…work it out for myself. I would just lay in bed and focus on it and try to like…calm it down, talk nice to it like my friend Cristof did to me when I got upset.”

He gulps a little then, hanging his head for a second, and I feel a wave of longing come across our bond. My heart breaks, my lips parting slightly when I realize that Jackson…misses his friend.

But my mate moves on quickly, raising his head again, not even looking at me or addressing the sudden, fleeting emotion.

“So,” Jackson says with a shrug, looking at Jesse’s gaze. “I know because I’ve been there. It’s your magic though – just…keep in mind that it responds to you, and that you’re in charge.”

“I’m glad you were here, man,” Jesse says, leaning back against the headboard and shaking his head. “These two,” he says, pointing his thumb between Rafe and I, “were completely useless.”

I squeak in protest, sitting up straight, even though he’s right. Rafe just laughs, reaching for the whiskey bottle in my hands and raising it towards Jackson this time. “Seriously, man, thank the Goddess for you and your stupid obsession with my sister.”

I squeak again before I scowl and try to snatch the whiskey away from him in revenge, but Jackson just smiles and nods to the two of them, clearly he glad he was here as well.

“So, is it going to happen again?” Jesse asks after a moment, looking anxiously down at his arms.

“Probably,” Jackson sighs, taking the whiskey bottle from Rafe when he passes it and taking a swig. “But you’ll get better and better at handling it.”

“Well, what if it happens in like…the middle of class…” Jesse murmurs, looking down at his limbs suspiciously like they might burst into shadow at any second.

“You’ll deal,” Jackson says with a shrug, easy and confident and unimaginative in the most useful way. I laugh a little, scootching closer to him and resting my head on his shoulder.

“Can you call it up now?” Rafe asks, curious.

“Um, I think I’d rather not try,” Jesse replies, still on edge. I take the bottle from Jackson’s hands and hand it over to Jesse, who sends me a grateful flash of a smile. “I think I want to…talk to my mom. If that’s not the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard.”

“Your mom’s a powerful sorceress,” Rafe says with a happy shrug. “Much like my own. I think it makes a lot of sense – we can call them tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jesse says on a relieved sigh. “I think that’s…for the best.” He looks around at all of us. “Can you guys come for that call? It will be helpful to have you…help me explain.”

“Of course we can,” I say happily. “Why don’t we skip breakfast, do that instead?”

Jackson’s stomach grumbles a little already and I grin, looking up at him.

“Fine,” I laugh. “We’ll make a special request for breakfast to be sent up here, just this once.”

“I’m sure they’ll accommodate that,” Rafe says, very assured that his princely demands will be obeyed. Our dads are everyone’s bosses, anyway.

“Cool,” Jesse says on a deep exhale, looking down at his hands. “Okay. I feel…better.”

We’re all quiet for a long moment.

“Hey Jess?” I say quietly, leaning forward towards him, thinking that he might be a little more willing now to talk about it. “What do they…feel like? The shadows?”

He takes a moment and we all sit very still.

“It feels…very dark,” Jesse murmurs. “And I know that seems obvious but…I don’t know how else to describe it. But it feels…like an animal that’s an extension of me. Not like my wolf – not sentient like that. But still an animal that it’s my job to leash and control…like…a snake, or a panther, something that only comes out at night and is hungry and a little vicious.” He shakes his head, frowning, trying to figure it out. “But it’s also…soft and pliable. Like I can turn it into anything. And…warm?”

He looks up at us and shrugs, his expression wary, like he thinks he might sound crazy.

“That’s…scary, man,” Rafe says, his voice breathy. “But also really cool.”

Slowly, Jesse breaks out into a smile. “Yeah, I…I think it kind of is.”

“Fire goddess, shadow lord,” Jackson murmurs, looking around at us like he’s kind of tickled by it. “Whatever you come up with next is going to be amazing, Rafe, if you’re going to match up with these two.”

Jesse laughs and I grin at my brother, but my smile falters a little as Rafe pretends to laugh before he drops his head, his face falling a little bit.

And my heart sinks again when I realize that my poor brother – who just got dumped – likewise feels left out of this too. Because he’s the only one here whose magic hasn’t manifested.

Which…probably makes him feel more alone than ever.

“Rafe,” I say quietly, reaching for him.

But my brother straightens his shoulders, pretending he doesn’t hear me.

My hand falls before I touch him, sensing that he doesn’t want that right now.

“Well, we have to get up early,” Rafe says, forcing a smile, “especially if we’re going to send word to mom and Cora that we want to chat. Do you think you can sleep, Jess?”

“Probably not,” Jesse laughs, only a touch hysterically, shaking his head. “But…I mean, I can try.”

“Well, what if it happens again?” I ask anxiously, biting my lip.

“I’ll just scream louder, cousin,” Jesse says, reaching out and giving me a pat on the knee, using his sense of humor and bravado to cover the anxiety that I can still see running through him. After all, he’s gone through a big change today – and swirling clouds of darkness are not precisely a warm and cuddly gift.

I mean, not that bursting things into flames is. At least not technically. But…well, I like it.

And I’m not sure that Jesse likes his as much – at least not yet.

“Well, I’m staying here,” I say, crawling quickly across the bed and cuddling up on the pillow on the far side of the bed that Jesse always leaves open. I grin at Jesse as he turns to stare at me. “In case you need me.”

“Ariel, go to bed –“

“No way!” I say, laughing and giving him a soft smack on the back. “If you get lost in a cloud of shadows I’m getting lost in them too. Cousins stick together.”

Jesse groans but he doesn’t protest any more, falling back on his own pillows.

Jackson sighs, but then starts to lay down, stretching himself length-wise across the foot of the bed.

“Wait, what do you think you’re doing!?” Jesse gasps, sitting up again and staring at Jackson.

“Is this…are we still not clear on this?” Jackson asks, looking up at Jesse like he’s exhausted at having to explain again, his feet hanging far off the bed as he stretches out to his full height. He points a finger at me. “I sleep where she sleeps.”

“You both cannot sleep in my bed! You don’t fit!”

“Yes we do, Jesse, it’s just a puppy pile like we did when we were kids,” I say with a happy sigh, curling up comfortably as Jackson settles his head down by my feet. Jackson reaches up and puts a warm and comforting hand on my calf, I think wanting to maintain body contact with me even as he realizes that it’s going to be inappropriate for us to cuddle all night like we usually do.

“Well, if they’re staying, so am I,” Rafe sighs, giving Jesse a shove. “Budge over.”

“What?!” Jesse protests, bumping into me as Rafe pulls his legs up onto the bed and then curls up on Jesse’s either side. “Guys, this is ridiculous – the bed is going to collapse!”

“Use your newfound shadow power to prop it up or something,” I say with a happy sigh, closing my eyes.

“What will that do!? They’re insubstantial –“

“Well, then we’ll all collapse together,” Rafe murmurs. “Like a family.”

“But –“

“Goodnight, Jesse!” Rafe calls, laughing a little under his breath. “We love you!”

“Yeah, love ya,” Jackson murmurs, his voice already sleepy.

We all fall quiet as Jesse heaves a huge sigh, giving in. And then, in the tiny sliver of bed left to him, Jesse turns his back to me and curls himself up.

And even if he pretends to be exasperated by us…deep down, I know that Jesse’s very grateful to have us all close by in case he needs us.