Chapter 309

“Selfish,” Daphne says a little later, laughing as she reaches out and snatches the cookie packet from Jesse’s hand. “How many of these are you going to eat?”

“All of them, obviously,” Jesse murmurs, lunging to grab them back but missing when Daphne laughs again and pulls them to her other side. “I have to eat them all – Ariel’s more likely to notice that half a pack is missing than a whole one.”

“You stole these from Ariel!?” Daphne’s gasp is scandalized.

“They taste better when you steal them,” Jesse says, grinning, “Especially from Ariel. She gets so mad.”

Daphne laughs with him and takes a cookie herself before handing the pack back. “I never get you sibling-types,” she says, taking a small bite and then curling up in her chair with her head resting on the back of it, gazing at bit at the boy next to her. “All the teasing – what’s the point?”

“I don’t really know,” Jesse says, turning towards her as well, both of them blissfully ignoring the show that the sky is putting on, seemingly just for them. “Something about growing up in such close proximity just…makes you want to torture the crap out of someone, even if they’re your favorite person on earth.”

Daphne grins at him, a little whistful. “That kind of sounds…nice. Psychotic, but nice.”

“Do you think you’d have liked it?” he asks, letting his eyes drift freely over her now in this stolen moment – over the gentle curve of her cheek, the way she curls up so neatly in the chair. “Having as many siblings and cousins as I’ve got?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers with a bit of a frown. “I think I’d be…a completely different person if I had. So it’s like asking me if I want to be someone else.”

“That’s a no, then,” Jesse says, decided, reaching for the whiskey bottle. “Any world in which we lose you precisely as you are is a tragedy, so – definitely a no.” He gives her a coy wink before taking a sip.

“Oh, you’re just flattering,” Daphne says with a sigh, accepting the bottle from his hand and taking her own long sip. Jesse smirks, knowing that he means every word of it. “What about you? Ever miss being an only child?”

“Never really was,” he murmurs, looking steadily at her now. “Rafe and Ari were always around, riding the coattails of my glory –“

Daphne laughs, shaking her head at him and looking out over the landscape again. He grins and keeps his eyes on her.

The pair sit in quiet for a long moment, but none of it is awkward, none of it bad. Just…peaceful.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, please,” Jesse says, quiet.

Daphne blinks out of her reverie and turns back to him, an embarrassed smile shaping her mouth. “Well,” she says with a sigh, snuggling up against the cushion. “I was thinking about…how much nicer this year at the Academy is. Compared to the others that I’ve spent here.”

Jesse’s face breaks into its own smile. “And I assume I can take full credit for this improvement?”

“Conceited,” Daphne says with a scowl, kicking out her foot to tap punishingly against his knee. His smile deepens. “Only partial credit. But really,” she shrugs, “having you all here has been…so nice. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up – I was a solitary little creature – and when I came here I never expected to make real friends. I’m very grateful that Ariel stepped onto my riser that day – I think my life would be…very different if she hadn’t.”

Jesse smiles, looking down at the cookies in his lap, suddenly grateful for that little twist of fate too. “Wish I’d gotten you as my tailor that day as well,” he murmurs, fliddling absently with the cookie packet.

“Oh yeah?” Daphne asks, soft. “Why?”

“Because,” Jesse replies, looking over at her. “The guy I got was handsy.”

“What!?” Daphne bursts out, laughing.

“He was!” Jesse insists, making her laugh harder. “Honestly, it doesn’t take anyone that long to measure an inseam – he was thorough –“

“Jesse!” she protests, kicking him again. “You’re such a liar –“

“I’m not!” he counters, laughing as well, pretending to flinch away from her kick. “It was like, intimate – at one point he made eye contact – I don’t know, Daph, your co-workers…”

But soon they’re both laughing too hard to continue, and Jesse quietly enjoys the sincere pleasure of making her laugh – the way her eyes crinkle up into half-moons, the way her laugher spills from that beautiful smile, her whole body shaking with joy.

God, if I could just have the chance to make her laugh like that every day – for the rest of his life…

But it fades after a moment, and Daphne’s eyes open again, pleasure still shining there. “I never know what you’re going to say, Jess,” she sighs, shaking her head at him.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he murmurs, giving her a wink. “Keeping you on your toes.”

She nods, glancing out over the landscape again. “Whole world seems to want to do that lately, though,” she sighs, her joy fading from her a bit. “That’s the other half of what I was thinking about before – how happy I am, and how selfishly angry I am at Atalaxia for calling you all off to war and messing it all up.”

“Yeah,” Jesse says, his stomach turning over with dread as he looks out over the landscape before them. “All of that is…no good.”

“Are you…worried about it?” Daphne asks. Jesse turns back to towards her, curious to see her peering at him a bit through her lashes, a little frown on her lips.

He takes a minute to consider his reply.

“I’m worried about losing the people I love,” Jesse says softly, heaving a tiny shrug like he doesn’t even want to concede that much. “I know I play it…glib a lot, pretending I don’t care, but there are many people in this world who I love so deeply that to lose them would just…crush me.”

Jesse looks off towards the darkening sky, the corners of his mouth turning drastically down – an expression that makes Daphne’s heart twist to see it on the face which she rarely sees without a smile.

Still, it’s not like she didn’t know about his depths. Jesse – he’s not that good at keeping them a secret, at least to her.

“You can’t fool all of us, Jess,” she says quietly, bringing his eyes back to her. “We know your still waters run deep.”

His mouth quirks into an embarrassed smile as he looks down into his lap. “All my pretense has failed me.”

“You’ve got a big heart, Jess,” she says, nearly a whisper. “You should let more people see it. It’s lovely. You’re lovely.”

He clenches his jaw against the words, his eyes fluttering shut. Jesse swallows hard and Daphne fights her own smile in return. He clears his throat.

“What about you?” Jesse asks, lifting his eyes again to hers. “Are you worried about it? The war and stuff?”

“Nope.”

His face bursts again into the smile. “No worries? Not a single one?”

“Nope,” she says again, smiling back and shaking her head at him, delighting a bit in his surprise.

“Okay, girl,” he says, laughing a little. “Reveal your secret to me. How can you be so sure it’ll all work out?”

“Ruthless optimism,” she says, giving a little shrug and holding his gaze, almost unblinking. Then she bites her lip, clearly deciding how much more to disclose. But Jesse looks steadily back at her and sees the moment when her dam breaks. “The…the day my dad died was the worst day of my life,” Daphne whispers quietly. “And I was really little.”

Jesse’s heart sinks all the way down, all smiles wiped from his face in an instant when he sees the pain of losing her father clear on her face, even all these years later.

“But,” she continues, “I decided, right then and there, that it was going to be the worst day. That it couldn’t get any worse than that, and that every single day after that was going to be better – even if I had to wrench the better out of it with my bare hands.”

She holds her hands out to him then, almost as if she can show him her determination. He looks down at her perfect white palms, fascinated by the strength in her, strength he’s not sure he can match.

“How do you manage it?” he whispers. “Living every day with such…hope? Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Sure,” she says, giving a shrug and dropping her hands. “But it’s worked for me so far. Just…keep going, keep pushing, keep trying and the universe turns with good things. I mean, look what I got,” she says, her smile deepening. “I have a job that pays well and lets me do what I love. I make enough money to help my mom. I’m designing clothes for a duchess. I have wonderful friends. I met you.”

Jesse’s heart rises again to see her list her blessings, to be counted among them.

But shame rises with it. Because Daphne, who started life with so little and with such tragedy, who has so much less than him…lives life free of the fear he carries around every day, so heavy in his chest. His wolf gives a heavy shake then, climbing to his feet, determined to be better.

“It’s okay,” Daphne says, bringing his attention back to her. “I can be…hopeful for both of us, if you’re not there yet.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Jesse says, impulsively holding out a hand to her in the dark. Quietly, she slips her palm against his and gives his hand a squeeze when his fingers wrap light around hers. “Even as I try to be better, it might take me a minute to get there.”

“Oh, I think you can do it, Jess,” Daphne whispers, beaming at him. “I see great things happening for you.”

He squeezes her hand back, his heart rising still, hoping to hell that he can live up to her expectations.

Inwardly, his wolf sets himself to the task.