Chapter 328

The boys let me have my space for much longer than I thought they would – for hours, really. I spend a long time in the bath, simmering and calming down before I begin to sort through my thoughts. Then, when I’m calm enough, I take each individual issue in turn, piece by piece. In time, each of the thoughts takes a new route, becomes a plan.

Eventually I get up and towel off, wrapping the towel warm around me. But even then I don’t leave, pulling myself up onto the wide marble counter and putting my feet in the sink, resting my head against the mirror as I turn my plans over more and more, trying to see the flaws in them, trying to ensure that I pick the best route.

The only interruption is a harsh knock at the door at least an hour in – probably more – before the entrance cracks open and someone sends a cold plate of tacos skittering across the floor. The demand is clear in the action – eat, damn it.

I smirk, but do as I’m bid, getting up and gathering the dish. But I take it right back to my spot and eat quietly as I continue to plot and ponder.

It’s quite late, really, when I come out of the bathroom and head into the nook. The room is already dark, the boys in bed.

“Finally,” Jesse grumbles, immediately getting up and moving immediately for the bathroom. “Others need this space too, you know.”

“Sorry,” I call, my voice more even than it was before as I pick up the cadet handbook and carry it to my bed with me. But Jesse doesn’t say anything in response.

He doesn’t need to. I know he’s not really mad.

I sigh and turn towards the nook, slipping in and quickly heading for my chest of drawers, pulling on a quick pair of underwear and pajamas before climbing into bed.

Jackson’s awake, as I knew, and immediately opens his arms for me. I sigh and let him wrap me up, putting the book aside for a minute and resting my face against his blissfully-warm chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, thinking of Luca and how he, too, abandoned me when he was upset. I hope quite desperately that I didn’t do the same to Jacks. “I hope that didn’t upset you. I just…needed space to think.”

“It’s fine, Ariel,” Jackson murmurs, pressing a kiss to my hair. “I was always ten feet away. I could feel you just needed to think. You’re allowed to do that.”

“I know,” I murmur, pressing myself tighter to his side. “I just don’t want you to feel abandoned.”

He growls, rolling me a bit so that I rest fully on top of his chest and stomach now, where I always end up sleeping and where I think he likes me best. “That’s not what happened,” he whispers. Then he hesitates. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”

“I do,” I say quietly, a little whine in my voice. “But…I’m also scared that if I start talking about it I’ll go to pieces.” I sigh and let my eyes drift shut. “It’s just been such a big day, Jacks. I feel like there is…so much on my plate.”

He hums, understanding – as he always is. And I smile, turning my face a little to press a kiss to his chest. “Sleep, then. We’ll talk in the morning.”

I smile a little, snuggling closer. “Can we go for a run? In the dream scape?”

“Sure, babes,” he murmurs, petting a hand over my hair. “Whatever makes you feel good works for me.”

I nod, and sigh, not fully better yet but…certainly getting there, with Jacks at my side. I wait a little bit until Jackson drifts off and then quickly pick up the cadet handbook and the little book light I got for Midwinter, flipping through a few pages and doing some light reading before I, too fall asleep.

I wake in the morning newly determined to enact my plan.

Which, unfortunately, makes me snappier than I’d like to be. Because even if a night of running with Jacks in the dream scape did a great deal to heal my exhausted little heart, after a night of thinking and dwelling on everything that Luca and Blythe and the Captain did and said…

God, but I’m pissed as hell. And kind of ready to let the world know about it.

“Whoa,” Jackson says, inhaling a deep breath as he wakes up next to me, immediately feeling my foul disposition. “You’re in an…interesting mood today.”

I huff a little laugh and sit up, straddling his hips and putting my hands on his chest, peering down into his face. “I’m not moody at you, though,” I say, tilting my head and taking in his incredibly handsome face, his muscled and honed body.

God, crap, but he’s good looking.

Jackson bursts into a smile as he senses the direction of my thoughts, his hands moving to my hips. “Good,” he sighs. “I think I’d be afraid, honestly, if you were truly mad at me. I fear the wrath of Ariel.”

“Clever boy,” I whisper, grinning and leaning forward, pressing a kiss to his mouth. Jackson wraps me up, as he always does, returning my kiss with all the warmth and love that I give to right back to him.

I break it before I want to, before we have the chance to get all worked up and panting. “Time to get up.”

He groans, tightening his arms around me. “No, let’s quit school,” he grumbles.

But I just laugh and kiss him again and press myself away, hopping out of bed and striding for the bathroom.

“I don’t like it when you have plans!” he calls after me, wary.

Jesse sits up in his bed, rubbing an eye. “Ariel has plans?”

“Oh god,” Rafe groans. “What the hell are we in for now?”

“Ari!” Rafe barks, grabbing my arm as I stride out of the castle, heading for the helicopters ahead of me. “Stop this right now!”

“Oh, let go of me, you big brat,” I snarl, turning to glare at him. “We’ve already been over this! This is happening, and if you try to stop me, I’ll set you on fire!”

Jesse and Jackson spill out of the castle after us, looking equally tense.

This is a fight we’ve been having all morning – each of the boys demanding that I tell them what I’ve got planned, or that I not participate in the Games, and me pleading and demanding that they trust me in turn. The fight continued until it was time to go, and then down the stairs.

And now it’s time for us to get on different helicopters, and we’ve come to no sort of agreement, and everyone’s pissed.

“You can’t just keep threatening to light me on fire!” Rafe snarls, tightening his hand on my arm.

I narrow my eyes at him and then snap my gaze down to the little strip of grass that remains between us. It bursts into flames.

Rafe gasps and jumps back before starting to stop on it.

It’s out in a second. It was just a tiny fire, after all.

“God damn it, Ari,” he growls.

“You need to stop threatening me, Rafe!” I snap, glaring hard at him. “You’re just pissed that you can’t bully me anymore now that I have brute force equal to yours –“

“Enough!” Jesse shouts, coming to literally stand between us and shoving a hand against each of our chests, which has me stumbling a few steps back while Rafe just stands still. Jackson’s behind me in an instant, catching me before I can trip over my own boots.

“Ari, just tell us,” Jackson begs, anxious.

“You trust me or you don’t,” I snarl, looking between the three of them.

“That’s not fair, Ari,” Rafe says, shaking his head at me. “It’s not that black and white.”

“It is when you want it to be, Rafe,” I say, raising my eyebrows at him. “What, because I’m not in the chain of command I can’t make calls?”

He tightens his lips, glaring at me.

“I’m doing this,” I say, straightening up and setting my shoulders. “On my own, my move. Not ours – not Rafe and Jackson and Jesse fighting for me. Me.”

“But we all know you’re up to something,” Jackson growls, glaring down at me. “And we don’t want you to get killed –“

“He promised I’d be safe!” I say, gesturing out to the field to where the Captain is somewhere.

“But Ari,” Jesse says, stepping towards me, worried.

“Enough!” I shout, desperately resisting the urge to stop my foot. “You will let me be my own person! You will let me make my choices! This is done!”

All three go very silent and still for a moment before Rafe slowly steps forward.