Chapter 473

The next few minutes pass calmly, the girls getting lost in their games, Jesse splitting a can of orange soda between him and Midnight, pouring some into a glass for her and taking the can for himself. Then he sighs, leaning back on his hand, studying his mate.

“What?” Midnight asks, taking a sip of her drink before resting her cheek on her knee.

“You just look…better, Mids,” Jesse says, his eyes moving over her. “You’ve put on some weight. You look healthy. It makes me happy.”

She narrows her eyes. “Are you going to try to seduce me now?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Good,” she murmurs, turning her face away, again watching the girls like a little dragon that has unwillingly let intruders into her cave and isn’t happy about it. “I’m not doing any of the romance stuff. Gross.”

“No worries,” Jesse says on a sigh, searching his heart. But still, even as he does, he realizes with a rather strong assurance that even if Midnight is his mate, and even if he can admit that she’s a beautiful girl, he is…still not attracted to her. Not in that way.

His wolf turns in his soul, anxious and confused, not getting it. Shouldn’t he be attracted to her, if she’s his mate?

Maybe it doesn’t work like that, his wolf says, pacing back and forth. Ariel said she had a stronger sexual connection with Jackson than Luca…

Yeah, Jesse murmurs inwardly. But she still made out with Luca. A lot. She was still attracted to him.

Maybe our relationship is different, his wolf says with what can best be described as a wolfish little shrug. Maybe it reflects what she needs, which is less passion and more…companionship.

Jesse’s wolf shifts his gaze, looking towards the space where the bond would be if Jesse accepted it, beyond which they can still see Midnight’s poor little wolf, still stuck in that oil, panting, her eyes lit with that manic glow.

Or maybe, his wolf says, hesitating, maybe things would be different if she wasn’t corrupted.

Jesse hums aloud, considering. Wondering.

“Oh, just tell me,” Midnight says, rolling her eyes.

Jesse blinks back to the moment, shifting his gaze to her. “What?”

“I can feel you thinking about me,” she says on a huffy sigh. “What is it you want to say?”

Jesse smiles, pleased again with his mate’s quick wits.

“I’m just curious if you meant what you said,” Jesse says, shrugging one shoulder and lifting his can of soda to his lips, taking a sip. “About wanting to enroll in Alpha Academy in the fall? And coming this spring, to help watch Marigold and study as much as you can?”

“Yes,” Midnight says, sitting up straight and setting back her shoulders. “I meant it. I want to be a spy like Ariel – I think I would be a great spy, better than her. Don’t you try to stop me!”

Jesse grins at his ferocious little mate. “I’m not trying to stop you. I’m on board,” he says, truly meaning it. “But, I mean, you know that Daphne still works there, right?”

Midnight’s eyes go wide, her jaw dropping open. “You dare to mention the whore!?” she hisses, her eyes darkening, shadows immediately beginning to seep from her skin.

Jesse waves the shadows away like smoke, glancing over at the little girls, not wanting them to be afraid. But they continue their games, giggling and trying on different clothes, oblivious.

“She’s not a whore, Mids –“

“She is a whore!” Midnight hisses, livid.

“Midnight,” Jesse snaps, more serious and stern than he usually is. “She’s a seamstress, all right? And a lovely person. And she works at Alpha Academy. If you come with us and enroll, she’ll probably be making your damn clothes!”

Midnight’s brow furrows, her fangs lengthening as she becomes the terror of nightmares she was when Jesse first met her. Jesse smiles a little, almost fond now of the horrible sight. “I will never wear a stich that the whore crafts for me – she will sew poison into the seams – she will spin her whore magic –“

“Oh, for heavens’ sake, Mids,” Jesse says, laughing a little, wrapping the shadows that drift towards him around his hand and then pulling them into himself. “Cut the dramatics. This is just a fact of Academy life – Daphne’s going to be there, and you’re going to have to be nice to her.”

Some of Midnight’s shadows clear as she realizes they’re having no effect on Jesse. They continue to waft around her even as her face returns to normal. “Can’t you just take her job away?” she says, pouting darkly.

Jesse frowns at Midnight. “I’m not taking away a young woman’s career just because you don’t like her, Midnight.”

“She makes me uncomfortable!” Midnight snaps.

“You don’t even know her!” Jesse returns, leaning towards his mate. “Honestly, Mids, you’re being unfair.”

Midnight grumbles something about not wanting to be fair, turning her face away from him.

Jesse sighs, not enjoying making her unhappy but knowing that it all needs to be said. “And,” he continues. “While I want you to enroll if that’s what will make you happy, I have to say – I don’t think Uncle Dom is going to be thrilled about having a young woman corrupted by Darkness within his Academy and his military.”

Midnight snaps her head to him, her mouth open. “What!?”

Jesse shrugs. “Darkness has a hold on you, Mids,” he says. “I don’t honestly know what that means, but if there’s a chance that Darkness can control you? Or see through your eyes –“

“He can’t see through my eyes,” she mutters, rolling them.

“Are you sure?” Jesse asks, leaning closer.

Midnight stills, her face falling, making it abundantly clear that she…is not sure.

“Darkness is our enemy right now, Midnight,” Jesse says softly. “I don’t know what’s fully going on, but he was clearly using Atalaxia to attack us as the Goddess’s children and heirs. And now that Atalaxia is gone he’s going to find some new method to do it. Maybe the Community or maybe…”

“Maybe me…” Midnight whispers, horrified. She starts to rock back and forth, uncomfortable, her shadows swirling.

Jesse lets her sit in it for a moment, putting a hand out on her shoulder, wanting her to feel that he’s on her side.

To his surprise, Midnight fixes her eyes on the little girls across the yurt, on their laughter and play. She watches them for what feels like a long time, her mind clearly working on the problem, on her priorities, on what she wants for her life.

She turns her head back to Jesse, her eyes sad and worried. “I don’t want anyone in my family to get hurt because of my powers,” she whispers quietly.

Jesse nods, his heart aching for her, squeezing her shoulder in his palm.

“But,” she continues, her voice wavering. “I…don’t want to give up my powers, Jess. I…don’t know who I am without my powers. I don’t want to be weak.” Tears fill her eyes.

Jesse sighs, his heart breaking for her, and he scootches closer to Midnight, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her into his lap, cradling her close to his chest. “You’ll still be Midnight,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her dark curls. “We’ll still love you precisely as much.”

“But I won’t be powerful,” she whines, desperately sad.

“Are you sure?” Jesse asks, considering it, pressing his cheek against her hair. “Mids, how much of your powers are…your gift? How much are a result of the corruption?”

She goes a bit still. “What are you talking about?”

Jesse sighs and then begins to speak his thoughts aloud as he thinks them, musing on Gabriel’s ability to use his powers even after Ariel cleared him of his darkness – though in a different, lesser form. “I just wonder if the same would be true for you,” Jesse murmurs. “If you’d actually lose anything. Or if…it would just be different.”

“I don’t want less power,” Midnight says, frightened. “I don’t want to be weak.”

“There are other ways to be strong,” Jesse says softly. He lifts his head, putting a hand on Midnight’s shoulder to push her back a bit so that he can look into his face. “And your wolf, Mids – she’s…suffering.” He turns inward again, his wolf howling to see hers still stuck in that oily muck, unable to move or to play, her breathing labored. “What would you gain if she was free?”

“I don’t know,” Midnight says, a little whine in her voice. “Jesse, I don’t know – it’s all so scary…”

He hums in agreement, not wanting to push her. It’s her choice, after all – her body, her magic, her wolf, her life.

After a moment, he tries one last foray. “Do you think,” he murmurs. “That if I got Ariel up here just to talk to you about the possibility of clearing your corruption…do you think you’d talk to her about it?”

“I don’t want to be forced to do anything,” Midnight growls, sniffing hard. “You said you wouldn’t force me, Jesse.”

“And I won’t,” he whispers, holding her close. “I promise, Mids. Just…please talk to her. Maybe she can tell you what would happen. I want you to know all of your options. And then you can decide.”

She sighs, leaning hard against him. “All right,” she says, her voice barely audible as she closes her eyes, trusting him. “All right, Jesse. I’ll talk to her.”

“Thank you,” Jesse says, wrapping his arms around Midnight and holding her close. Inwardly his wolf stands straight, shaking out his fur, determined to do as best as he can by this girl.

To help her live her life as she chooses, whatever that looks like.