Chapter 151

"My father knows you're the most important thing to me," Lucas explained as the car moved down the road quickly, "I needed to convince him that I was serious about wanting to return, and that it wasn't just for you."

I furrowed my brow, the complexity of this situation making it difficult for me to see the full picture. "How are you going to be able to convince him of that?"

"That's exactly why I told him I wanted to move back home, so that he could keep a closer eye on me. That part was all my idea," Lucas said, a hint of determination in his voice.

As we drove on, I couldn't help but try to view the situation through Kendrick's perspective. If he wanted to regain control over Lucas, he would need him close and free from any distractions, like Grandma Jo, me, or hockey.

I couldn't lie, it sounded like a solid plan. Or at least, a solid start.

"Tell me your plan," I urged, needing to understand his reasoning more clearly.

"My father thinks I'll end our relationship, but we'll just keep it more low-key from now on," Lucas revealed, stealing a quick glance at me. "I'll put a pause on hockey, I'll move out of Grandma Jo's, I'll do whatever he asks of me until that debt is paid off."

I couldn't help but consider all the hurdles and challenges that lay ahead. It seemed like it was easy, but I knew that most likely wouldn't be possible.

"And then what?" I asked. "How can you just go back to normal? Kendrick isn't going to make it easy for you."

Lucas nodded. "I know that, Shana. But once the debt is paid, there's nothing he can do. He can't take the money back. He's only made this deal because he still trusts me, and that has to count for something."

I pondered his words, surprised that Kendrick placed this much trust in Lucas. It was a new perspective on his father. I thought he didn't care for Lucas too much, but this just revealed a depth to their relationship that I hadn't previously understood or seen.

The two of us sat in silence for the rest of the ride. I was too caught up in my own head to even speak.

As Lucas finally pulled the car into Grandma Jo's driveway, the weight of his decisions hung heavily in the air between us.

The reality that he had to move back in with his father and quit hockey just to settle the debt's my father had caused was a heavy burden to bear. I felt awful for putting him in this position and I didn't know what to do to put a stop to it.

My heart began to ache with the thought of Lucas being miserable in that house, distancing himself from his real dreams and passions.

How could I let him do that for me? There had to be something that I could do.

"Lucas, I can't let you do this," I said, feeling my bottom lip tremble.

Lucas turned to me as we sat in the car. His voice was soft and comforting as he said, "I won't be gone for long, Shana. Don't worry about me. As soon as the debts are paid off, I'll try to convince my father to let me be more open with you and with hockey."

"I don't want you to go back there."

"I've lived with him for the past five years," Lucas reasoned. "If I can survive that, I'm sure I can survive a little bit longer."

I sighed as my doubts and fears continued to gnaw at me. Things always seemed to go wrong and I didn't want anything to happen to Lucas.

"Lucas, you know how Kendrick is. He's not one to easily change his mind, especially when he thinks he's in control. If he senses a betrayal, he'll—"

"Don't worry," Lucas said firmly, planting his eyes on me. "It'll all be okay."

I nodded, but the expression on his face mirrored my own concerns. We both knew how stubborn and manipulative Kendrick could be. It was in his nature.

The two of us walked into Granma Jo's house, it seemed to hit Lucas that he wouldn't be staying here any longer. Selfishly, I wanted to be upset with him, but I knew it wasn't fair of me.

It will be weird living here without him.

Grandma Jo was on the couch when we entered.

"Hey kiddos, dinner is in the oven." When she noticed the serious expression on Lucas's face, her smile faded.

He broke the news to her, and even her normally cheerful face couldn't hide her disappointment. It didn't feel right seeing Grandma Jo without a smile on her face.

"Oh, Lucas," Grandma Jo tsked. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

"I do," he said as he glanced at me. "It'll be worth it."

"I hope it's okay if I still stay here," I told Grandma Jo, my voice tinged with uncertainty. "I know Lucas won't be here anymore, but I still would like to stay... if that's—"

"Don't be silly, Shana." She smiled warmly, patting my hand. It was nice to see that smile back, even though there was a little sadness in her eyes. "Of course, dear. You're always welcome here, for as long as you need."

I thanked Grandma Jo, pulling her into a hug.

With that reassurance, I followed Lucas up to his room where he began packing up all his belongings.

As he packed, I stood my the door holding back my tongue. I wanted to protest and tell him to stay, but I knew he wouldn't listen. It just wouldn't be the same here without him.

My mind began to wander and I thought about the reason why Lucas was doing this. My father.

I couldn't help but bring it up to Lucas as he continued to pack his things. "Lucas, what do you think happened to my father? Do you think he's in jail, or just hiding somewhere?"

"That's a good question." Lucas paused his packing to consider the question, furrowing his brow. "I'm not sure, Shana. My father's resources are unlimited, and he can make things...disappear."

"Do you think Kendrick knows where he is?" I asked, feeling nervous.

Lucas shrugged, unsure himself. "It could be possible..."

Then another worry popped into my head—my recent shift.

"Lucas, what if I shift again while you're away? I can't control it... and you won't be here to help..."

Lucas's face suddenly transformed into one of concern and contemplation. Clearly, he hadn't considered that possibility before.

He reached his hand out for me to hold, and I took it gently.

"If that ever happens, Shana," he said, his voice steady, "try to remember what I've shown you. Focus on your humanity, on your connection to yourself, to me, to the earth—anything to ground yourself. It might help you regain control."

I couldn't help but feel a surge of doubt. What if I couldn't control myself? What if I hurt someone, or worse?

"We'll meet with the professor soon, and together, we'll figure everything out," Lucas reassured me.

I was getting sick of hearing those words... "We'll figure everything out."

I needed answers, and I needed them soon before it's too late.