Chapter 80

My fists were clenched into balls as I watched Kendrick walk away from Lucas for a second time.

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

Lucas had just told his father that he would rather focus on hockey than have a friendship with me as a distraction...

I wanted to hit something so badly, preferably Lucas's head for being so cruel to me.

How could he make that decision so easily? He hardly fought his father on it, and it only made me wonder if he truly cared for me or not.

I was so confused, I didn't know what to believe anymore.

Lucas spun on his heel but stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that I was standing a mere three feet away.

My face probably gave everything away, and I could tell that he realized he messed up when guilt took over his features.

"Why, Lucas?" I demanded, my frustration evident in my voice. "Why did you say that to your father?"

Lucas sighed, clearly unsure of how to navigate this conversation. "What was I supposed to say, Shana? I needed to give him an answer."

"So, you thought the best option was to just give me up? After everything we've been through? Why would you let your father manipulate you like this?"

Lucas's expression was a complex mix of emotions—

defensiveness, frustration, and something else that I couldn't quite decipher.

He looked just as conflicted with me as he did speaking with his father moments ago.

"It's not that simple, Shana," he replied, his voice tight. "You don't understand the pressures I'm under."

"Oh, this excuse again!" I crossed my arms, my frustration growing. "Help me understand, then. Because all I see is you bending to your father's will, sacrificing our friendship for some legacy."

Lucas's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing. "It's not about the legacy, Shana. It's about responsibility."

I scoffed, unable to contain my exasperation. "Responsibility? To a father who only seems to care about appearances and power?"

"I've explained this to you so many times, and you still don't seem to be grasping it." Lucas's fingers raked through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "You're oversimplifying things."

"Am I?" I retorted, my voice edged with bitterness. "Because it seems pretty clear to me that your father is pulling the strings here. You're like his puppet, following his every command!"

"You don't think I know that?" Lucas's gaze locked onto mine, his eyes burning with intensity. "You think I like the idea of giving up our friendship? Of constantly giving up my freedom to please someone who will never be pleased by anything I do?"

"Then why do it?" I shot back, my voice cracking with emotion. "Why not stand up to your father, and fight for what you want?"

"It's not that easy, Shana," Lucas's response was immediate.

"Of course it is," I reasoned. "You're just too afraid to say something and stand up for yourself. What's the worst that he could do?"

"He would reject me as a son, and everything that I've been working towards would be for nothing!" Lucas raised his voice at me, his fists clenching at his sides. "I wouldn't expect you to understand, you weren't brought up in this sort of environment. I can't just go against my father's wishes without consequences."

"Consequences?" I scoffed. "So you're willing to let him dictate your life, dictate our friendship, because of some consequences?"

"I'm not doing this to hurt you," Lucas said, his tone softer now. "I just need time to figure things out."

"It's clear that you've already made your decision, and I'm not it."

"Shana," Lucas pleaded. "I don't want this to change anything. I only said that to please my father."

"By you constantly trying to make him happy, you haven't even realized that you've hurt me in the process." My frustration boiled over, and I couldn't hold back my words any longer. "But you're not just hurting me, Lucas. You're hurting yourself too."

Silence hung heavily between us, the weight of our unspoken words echoing in the air.

"What do you want me to do?" Lucas asked, running a hand through his dark hair. "I don't know how to make everyone happy, and quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of being put in this position."

"In what position?"

"Constantly feeling like I need to please people and do the right thing. If I'm not making my father happy, then I'm making my friends unhappy. If I'm making my friends happy, then my father has a problem with it. Why can't I have it both ways?"

"Lucas, don't you see that your father is unreasonable? His demands go far beyond what is normal."

"Again, Shana. What do you want me to do? He's my father."

"He's your father, and he's telling you not to be friends with me," I said, hoping that some ounce of him can feel the pain in my words. "And you willingly told him that you would rather stick to hockey than remain friends with me."

"We can still be friends at school," Lucas finally said, his voice tentative. "My father won't monitor my every move there. He won't know if we're talking or training or hanging out."

"Is that what it's come to, Lucas?" I shook my head, my disappointment evident. "Sneaking around, pretending like we're not friends in public?"

"That's the only viable option I can think of right now."

"Well, what if I don't want to sneak around just to be friends with you?" I asked. "What if I just want our friendship to be how it is... What if I just want it to be normal?"

"I don't want to lose our friendship either," he said, his eyes searching mine. "But right now, this is the only way I can keep both—

my responsibilities and you."

"You'd be keeping both, but I would feel like a secret, or something to be hidden. I don't know if I can do that, Lucas." I felt a surge of frustration.

"Well, you haven't even tried yet," he reasoned, his eyes pleading.

I bit my lip, carefully thinking about what to say next. "And what happens if he somehow finds out that the two of us are still friends? Will you finally stand up to your father then?"

Lucas fell into silence, his gaze dropping to the ground.

I knew what his answer was because his silence was an answer in itself.

The realization that Lucas wouldn't be able to stand up to his father, even if he had to in order to save our friendship, hit me like a punch to the gut.

Was I not important enough to him?

Was his need to please his father greater than his love and respect for me as a friend?

Did our friendship mean nothing to him?

"Fine," I said, my voice cold and detached. "If that's the way it has to be, then I'll do as Kendrick said. I won't talk to you anymore."

Lucas's eyes snapped up to meet mine. Shock took over his features. "Shana—"

"Don't," I interrupted, my voice firm. "You made your choice, Lucas. Now you have to live with it."