Chapter 3

In California, I pretended to be happy.

I packed my schedule full so I wouldn't have any gaps to overthink, and I definitely didn't unblock him like he'd told me to.

But Mia and my other friends still sent me updates about him.

Ethan and his friends stayed in New Zealand for a long time, and he posted on Instagram every day.

Videos of him flying down the slopes, big fancy dinners, wild parties, and lots of group photos.

A lot of friends asked me why I hadn't gone with Ethan.

All I could say was that I had things to do in California.

Except for Mia, who called him a jerk every single day, everyone else just hinted and hesitated.

I knew they'd noticed too. In every group photo Ethan posted, he was right next to Chloe. They were inseparable.

That spot used to be mine.

Every time I saw one, I looked calm on the outside, but something still twisted in my chest.

Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night, sad and bitter.

But whenever I thought of him saying he was "practicing" on me, I'd tell myself, Ava, don't be pathetic. Don't let people look down on you.

Just hold on a little longer. It'll pass.

We went a whole month without any contact. It was the longest cold war we'd ever had since the day we met.

Distance and time really were the cure. I got through it.

Just when I was getting used to life without Ethan, he called me from a new number.

"Ava, you're really something. You ditched me here and ran off to California to have fun."

There was something almost careful in his complaining.

I still didn't want to talk to him, and I was about to hang up when I heard Ethan's mom's warm voice on the other end.

"Ava, are you having fun in California? This boy of mine won't tell me anything. I just found out you two had a fight. Don't let him get to you."

"Oh, Ethan got his acceptance letter today. Yours should be coming any day now. When are you coming back? Didn't our families agree to throw a joint graduation party in the backyard for the two of you? I even got you a going-to-college present..."

Ethan's mom had always taken care of me since I was little. I couldn't just hang up on her, so I made myself listen until she finished.

"I don't really want a party. My parents have been so busy lately. We were planning to just have a simple family dinner. I might not come back for a while. I was thinking I'd just go straight to school when..."

Before I could finish, Ethan grabbed the phone back.

He was breathing hard. Even across three thousand miles, I could feel his anger.

"Ava, I've already given you a way out. How much longer are you going to keep this up? If you don't come back, I'm going to Boston on my own tomorrow. I'm not waiting for you."

He threw out the threat coldly. When he didn't hear an answer after a few seconds, he added through gritted teeth:

"Think it over. Don't come crying and begging me later when you regret it."

I hung up and blocked that number too.

I sat there staring into space for a while, and then my mom FaceTimed me.

They'd finally gotten my acceptance letter and seen the name of the school on it.

They were shocked.

"Ava, how could you switch schools without talking to us first? Does Ethan know? His mom was asking us just this morning whether your letter had come."

My dad leaned into the frame too. "Sweetheart, how are we supposed to feel okay about you going to California alone? Aren't you scared to death of heat and bugs? Don't call me later begging me to fly out and catch a spider for you."

I didn't know what to say. All I could do was tell them how great the school was, and that Mia would be there too.

They still weren't convinced.

"Did you and Ethan have a fight? Even so, you can't just switch to somewhere that far on an impulse."

"What if you change your mind in a few days and want him back? You'll have nowhere to go cry."

"Exactly. You used to spend two weeks at Grandma's and beg to come home to him."

The more they said, the more irritated I got, so I just said it straight out. "Ethan has a girlfriend. It wouldn't be right for me to keep hanging around him. Mom, Dad, I have to make my own decisions about my life. Please support me, and please don't tell anyone yet."

My parents looked at each other and were quiet for a long time. In the end, they agreed.

They only asked me to come home soon, because school was starting in just a few days and they wanted to spend more time with me.