Chapter 129

I return to my room absolutely humiliated. In a way it was flattering, that Caleb’s parents misunderstood and thought that Caleb cared enough about me to want to break traditions and marry me, a member of his harem.

Their expressions, however, a mix of horror and rage, left me feeling nothing but deep despair and embarrassment. It is insulting how lowly they think of me, like I’m subhuman somehow. A slave, put on this earth only to serve, never to rise about my station. Or even dream about it.

The worst part for me, though, was Caleb’s absolute lack of response. He did not defend me. He probably didn’t even think to.

I know it’s impossible for Caleb to return my feelings, but each time that something like this occurs, when the chasm that stretches between us seems as far as an ocean, I’m hurt all over again.

By now, I should know better, but my foolish heart has set on him. It will keep flinging itself forward, keeping hurting itself against the barbed wire he’s laid around his own heart, until I force myself to move on.

It’s difficult to move on when I live in Caleb’s palace and see him all the time. In between his dates with Annabelle, it’s me he comes to see. It’s my arms he falls into. My lips he kisses.

Annabelle wants this to end. Maybe it’s time that it should.

I change into bed, miserable yet resolved. I let myself cry onto my pillow, but I make a vow that it will be the last time. I’ve shed too many tears over Caleb already, while he’s given little to no thought for me. Tonight will be the last time.

In the morning, I will be a new person, determined and independent.

Tomorrow.

Tonight, and only for tonight, I will allow my break heart to flood my being with sadness, and I will cry.

In the morning, the sun rises, and I awake a new person, incredibly resolved. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. A life that doesn’t revolve around King Caleb.

When Bethany arrives, she seems surprised by my good mood.

“Are you okay?” she asks me, spying the crumpled-up tissues in the nearby waste basket.

“I’m planning,” I tell her, because that’s better than the more honest answer, that I’m a wall of misery held together with a thin layer of resolve.

“Planning what?” Bethany asks.

“You’ll see,” I tell her. Maybe I should tell her the truth, to warn her, but I’m still a bit worried that I won’t have the willpower to go through with it, when faced with Caleb himself. I’d be facing my own self-hatred, in that case. I don’t want to have to also carry someone else’s disappointment in me.

Or, maybe it wouldn’t be disappointment. More likely, Bethany would try to talk me out of it.

We continue with our morning routine. I shower while Bethany tidies up, and then we both sit down to coffee and breakfast. Just as we finish up, a royal messenger opens the door without knocking and steps inside.

“The King demands your presence in the dining room for his breakfast date with Annabelle,” the messenger says.

I stay just where I am, sitting at the small two-person table with Bethany.

Bethany glances at me, her brows furrowing with concern. “Harper?”

“Yes?” I ask her.

He nods her head toward the royal messenger.

“Oh,” I say, pretending to have forgotten he was there. Looking at him, I say, “Tell King Caleb that I will not be joining him this morning for his date, or for any future dates he has planned. Thank you.”

His eyes go wide a saucers. Bethany’s mouth fell open. They both gaped at me for a moment.

I sipped my coffee.

When I place it down, I double-take looking at the messenger, then say, “If that’s everything…?”

He glances nervously between Bethany and I, like he’s not sure what to say. But then, still speechless, he backs out of the room and closes the door behind him.

“Harper,” Bethany says. “The King is not going to be pleased.”

“I don’t care what the King thinks,” I say.

“There’s something going on with you,” Bethany says, eyes narrowing with suspicion.

I shrug, but give nothing away.

Bethany, as if sensing what’s coming, starts to clear the plates away.

We both know the storm that’s about to come through the door.

King Caleb does not like to be told ‘no.’

As far as I’m concerned, he needs to hear no far more often, especially since he’s so damn bad at hearing it.

Bethany nearly makes it all the way to the door with the dishes, when loud footsteps thunder down the hallway. She stands off to the side, as the door bursts open so roughly that it knocks clean off its hinges. It hits the wall first, and then slams down onto the ground.

Caleb’s eyes flash red as he takes long, angry strides into the room, slowly closing the distance to me. Bethany sneaks out behind his back.

I glance at him, but then otherwise ignore him, sipping my coffee – even as he walks right up to the edge of the table.

In a flash, he snatches the cup from my hand, then throws it straight against the far wall. It smashes, chips flying, as coffee splatters.

With a long blink, I turn my head to look up him where he stands beside me, glaring down at me.

“You dare to –!” he begins.

“I’ve decided what I want for my request,” I reply, cutting him off.

His voice stops abruptly. His face goes through a series of very fast changes: annoyed to confused to understand to furious again. He grits his teeth, and a hint of a growl emerges from the back of his throat.

“What is it?” he says, his voice low and gravelly.

Somehow, I manage to hold his gaze. I thought facing him might make me waver in my resolve. Instead, it seems to solidify it within me.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.

Caleb promised me any request I can think of. Right now, I fully intend to push him to see how much he truly met those words.

“I want to leave,” I tell him.

He blinks, but his expression doesn’t otherwise change.

“What?” he says curtly.

He wants me to repeat my request? I don’t mind. I’ll shout it from the rooftops if he needs me too.

“I don’t want to be in the harem anymore,” I say. “I want to be free to find a regular werewolf to settle down. No more Alphas. Maybe he could be a farmer, and I’d get my own farmhouse…” I’m rambling. This part isn’t necessary. I shake my head. “I want to find a mate for myself and have a quiet little life.”

Caleb’s growling rises in volume.

“You said I could have anything. That no request is too great,” I say. “Well, this is what I want. I don’t want to be in the harem. I don’t want to be your lover.”

I take a breath.

“I want to be free.”