Chapter 162

Caleb drags me back toward the palace. After giving the location of the killed and unconscious rebels to his guards, he tugs me against him more fully, lifting me up into his arms, and carries me all the way to his room. Once there, with the door safely behind us, he starts to pace back and forth in his room.

He does not let me down.

“Caleb…” I say gently. “I promise I will stay here, but you have to put me down.”

“They will try to steal you from me,” Caleb says, his eyes flashing red.

“There is no one in this room but you and me. I’m not going anywhere.”

He clutches me tighter – too tightly! I wince.

Raising my voice would only alarm him further. He’s not trying to hurt me, he wants to protect me. He just lost Tristan. His mind must be going a mile a minute, seeing dangers everywhere, even here in the safety of his room – the most protected spot in the entire palace.

Instead, I lean up and gently kiss him.

He stills at first, frozen against me, but then, as I persist, he starts to melt. Slowly, he lowers me down to my feet again. Yet even with my feet on the floor, he keeps his arms wrapped around me, as if he is unwilling to let me go.

I don’t mind being held like this, especially as I can feel him relax. He’s fighting the paranoia back, his mind again becoming his own.

He rests his cheek against the top of my head and holds me for a long time. Winding my arms around his neck, I hold him back as much as I can.

For a time, we stay just like this, breathing in each other’s scent. I’m sure he can hear the steady thump of my heartbeat. He exhales deeply.

“Thank you,” he says, his voice a whisper rustling my hair.

“You are fighting the mate sickness,” I say. “It’s the least I can do to help you push back the paranoia.”

“That’s not why I’m thanking you.”

Blinking with confusion, I lean back when he loosens his hold, and look up at him. “Then why?”

“You could have told Samuel you wanted away from me,” Caleb says. “He might have sent his entire army just to retrieve you.”

I doubt he would have done that. Samuel, despite his assertions otherwise has always been inherently selfish. He never fought for me when it counted, always a step too late.

But that isn’t the reason I turned him down.

Truly, I just want to be at Caleb’s side, helping and supporting him no matter what dangers or troubles come our way.

“You don’t have to thank me for this either,” I say. “I’m only following my heart.”

“You have no idea how rare you are,” Caleb says. He leans down and kisses me. “I have not been treating you as kindly as you deserve. I am not a kind man. But I value you. You must know this.”

“I do,” I tell him, my heart filling with joy and affection. Even in these tragic times – with Tristan lost, and my old love betraying us – we must claim moments of bliss where we can. They are too few and too brief in these modern times. “I must stay true to my heart, and my heart has chosen you Caleb.”

Even if he marries another, I cannot leave him. Even if my heart shatters again and again watching from the outside as someone else lives a life I wish were mine, I cannot turn my back. The alternative, a life without him, is simply too much to bear.

I apologize to my future self for all the hurt I know I will face, before I resolve my determination and tell Caleb, “I’m not going anywhere.”

That night, after thoroughly showing his appreciation by ravishing Harper’s body, Caleb lies awake in the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Harper is tucked against him, breathing gently in her slumber. Her hand is on Caleb’s chest, her cheek pressed to his shoulder. One of her legs is hooked around one of his.

It’s a perfect little moment, one that offers him peace for his ailing mind, giving him a rare sort of clarity in the otherwise storm of his thoughts.

Harper has once again proven her affection and loyalty for him. Even after all he’s done, even as he’s slowly losing his mind to his illness, even as he’s publically called for another woman to be his wife, something Harper has expressed deeply hurts her…

She is still choosing to stay with Caleb.

Something stirs in the black void of his chest. He does not feel love as others do. For a long time, he thought himself incapable. He still isn’t sure. He’s never known love – how would he know what it is?

Yet, looking at Harper, remembering the spark of pleasure he felt at her declaration to stay with him, he cannot deny that something is happening within him, thawing the cold he’s felt for so long.

With this feeling swelling within him, Caleb wonders if this is how Evan felt when he was with his omega mistress. No, his omega mate, Summer. Was this the very same feeling that made Evan choose love over everything else? Was it the lack of this feeling that made their father betray Evan and Caleb both, pitting them against each other?

Pieces of Caleb’s life mysteries are starting to fall into place. Unfortunately, knowing them does not make what comes next any easier.

There’s a war brewing, between those faithful to Caleb and the rebels. Caleb knows he’s been acting out of turn lately, driven mad by the mate sickness. A rebellion has seemed inevitable for some time.

In his regular moments, Caleb strives to squash the rebellion and anyone foolish enough to be affiliated with such an endeavor. Yet in this moment of clarity, Caleb knows simply overpowering the rebels will not be enough to end the discontent growing within the kingdom.

Yet, now Samuel and his rebels have killed Tristan…

There can be no other cause of action. Perhaps they were on a path to mutual destruction, but the murder of a King’s Beta would not go unpunished.

That Tristan was something of a friend…

Caleb will burn that entire rebellion to the ground.

Harper sighs, shifting slightly closer in her sleep. Reminded of her and her presence, Caleb takes a deep breath and exhales. He must find a way to keep Harper safe in the coming storm. With Tristan gone, the only other person Caleb can trust is Harper. He must keep her safe. She’s his last bastion for sanity.

If he would lose her as well, he would not be able to recover himself. The mate sickness would fully overwhelm him and he’d have to be put down.

He was in for a cruel end no matter how things shook out.

He wonders once more if this was how Evan felt. If Evan knew that standing against their father and marrying his love would end in his death, but he did so anyway.

Was that flash of happiness truly worth every terrible thing that came after?

Looking at Harper, Caleb tries to imagine himself with the same choice, the same threat.

Harper is his consort, and a human… But if she was also his fated mate?

Caleb scoffs at himself for even thinking such a thing. Men like him were unworthy of finding such happiness.

If his mate has been under his nose all this time…

Impossible.