Chapter 168

Surely the news station must be mistaken. There’s no way Caleb could be having a wedding in two weeks and I didn’t know about it. Even if he himself didn’t tell me, Bethany would have. The servants and slaves know everything that goes on in the palace, and Bethany wouldn’t keep a secret like this from me.

Maybe they are only speculating? But I don’t know. For them to report on the news, they must be pretty sure.

I turn of the television once more and then sit down on the edge of the bed. Tired as I am, I won’t be finding any sleep with a report like that on my mind.

I need to speak to Caleb. He’s the only person I can ask who would know the truth now.

Patiently, I listen to the shower run and then turn off, waiting for him to re-emerge from the bathroom. It takes some time, but when he finally opens the shower door, I stand. Then I stop again.

His hair is damp, pushed back away from his eyes. He’s not wearing a shirt, only a comfortable looking pair of plaid pajama pants and socks. His well-toned chest is on full display, and my thoughts come to a skidding halt for a moment, faced with it.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” he asks me, annoyance creasing his face.

His tone shakes me out of my stupor and reminds me of my purpose, and my pain.

“I turned the television on for a moment,” I say. “They said something on the news… I want to ask you if it’s true.”

“Out with it then,” he says gruffly, stepping closer to the bed.

Swallowing hard, I rally my courage. “Are you marrying Annabelle in two weeks?”

His face hardens marginally. “You saw that on the news?”

“Yes.”

With a sigh, he looks away. “Yes. It’s true. My mother begged, so I gave her permission to plan the wedding. I’d foolishly hoped she would keep things relatively quiet, but I suppose the spectacle is what she is truly after.”

“Oh.” In my chest, my heart felt so heavy.

So it is true. Caleb will be married in two weeks.

I’ve already resigned myself to a lifetime of heartbreak. I’d hoped, perhaps foolishly, that when the time came for the actual wedding, that I would be numb to it.

Instead, it hurts as freshly as it did when Caleb first began pursuing Annabelle, and again when he proposed.

“You don’t need to be sad,” Caleb says. “I swear to you, as I have already done, that nothing between us will change.”

“You can say that now,” I tell him, “But it’s not the truth. The next step after marriage is having an heir. You cannot promise to stay in my bed while your duties would insist you do otherwise.”

“That’s different,” he says, frowning harder.

“How?”

“You cannot hold my sense of duty against me, Harper.”

“I can if it forces you to sleep with another woman!”

“You are one of many. Have you forgotten?” Caleb says cruelly. “I have an entire harem waiting on me at the palace. I’ve spoiled you, these past few months, but you were never going to be my only lover.”

Tears well in my eyes but I hold them back with sheer force of will. He’s right. He’s never said that I would be his only lover. He’s only ever claimed that he would be mine.

What can I say to that? How can I argue to a king that he should be faithful to the one who loves him? He has no sense of love, only duty. And his duty would force him to have many lovers.

Closing my eyes, I try to fight back the heartbreak. I knew this would happen. I did. Why doesn’t that make it any easier?

“I’m going to bed,” I say.

“Good,” he snaps. “You should have done so already instead of making trouble for us both.”

“You should have told me about the wedding,” I reply. Lifting the covers, I slide underneath them.

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” he says. “You are my consort, not my wife.”

Caleb walks around to the other side of the bed and lays down. I stick to my side, right up against the very edge, to keep from touching him.

The bed is small though, so even laying side by side, we still brush against each other now and then.

“Harper,” Caleb says, rolling towards me. I roll away.

“Are you finished?” I ask. “I’m going to turn off the light.”

“You would deny me your body?” he asks, a hint of anger in his voice.

Tonight? Yes, I would.

He scents the air gently, and must be able to tell from that, that I am in no mood.

“I want to sleep,” I say and turn off the bedside light.

Grumbling, he turns his back to me. “Fine.”

Maybe Caleb finds sleep that night, but I never do. Instead, I imagine the many pains waiting for me in my future.

The wedding… The long nights without Caleb… When Annabelle becomes pregnant… When they have a child… Children…

All while I am forced to watch, existing just off to the side, close but never close enough.

Closing my eyes, my tears finally escape.

I hope Caleb is truly sleeping, and not awake enough to hear me cry.

The next morning, Caleb and I don’t talk to each other. We simply prepare for the day, when Scott knocks on the door.

“We have to move,” he says. “We shouldn’t stay anywhere too long.”

In the car, the silence continues, despite Wade and Scott’s best efforts to make conversation between us. Neither Caleb nor I can be convinced to give more than one or two words as a response.

Eventually, we drive through another town. This one seems even bolder in their dislike of Caleb. Though no public photos of Caleb exist, a crudely drawn old man with a crown is painted on a sign disparaging him. A red X covers the figure. Words line the top and bottom of the sign. END TYRANNY, END TYRANTS.

This sign is plastered on nearly every street corner of this town.

“Is this territory not part of my kingdom?” Caleb asks.

“It is,” Scott replies. “But sympathy for the rebellion is so strong here, even the officials dare not do anything to stop it.

I am angry with Caleb, still stewing in my own hurt feelings. Yet, looking at him now, I still feel a measure of sympathy. He truly had no idea that things were like this outside the walls of his capital.

“Is it too late to fix this?” he says under his breath.

I wish I had an answer to give him. Maybe it is. Maybe war is the only answer.

Or maybe giving people hope of a better future might be enough to sway them from this path. How he would do such a thing, though, I’m not sure.

I doubt an extravagant wedding is going to be the answer. People will see the decadence, the money poorly spent while they are struggling, and grow even more hostile.

Now is not the time to discuss such things, as Caleb would likely think me making up excuses for him not to marry Annabelle.

In the future though, when things have cooled between us, maybe I could bring this up.

If things cool between us…

“I’ve failed these people,” Caleb says. “But I will find a way to make it right.”

Wade and Scott look out their windows, and no one says a thing.