Chapter 53

Atwood

The past few days have been a blur. Ever since Ruby found and killed the Bear in the forest, my men and I have been scrambling to make preparations. The Bear’s presence on our castle grounds only means one thing: they’re getting braver.

I’m impressed with Ruby’s ability to kill the Bear the first night she shifted, however. This must mean that her wolf is extremely powerful, far more so than any other hybrid that I’ve encountered. What makes her so powerful, though, still baffles me.

The morning after she killed the Bear, Noah and I were still patrolling the forest. We must have scoured every inch of that place by the time the sun came up, but we both knew that our work wasn’t done yet. Just because there were no more Bears on the castle grounds at that moment didn’t mean that there weren’t more Bears nearby. I found it odd that a single Bear would venture onto the castle grounds alone. Was it a distraction? A spy? A scout?

Our suspicions that it was a distraction were confirmed, however, when one of our own scouts returned that morning to inform us that the Bears had spent the night pillaging one of the hybrid villages that border the kingdom. Whether or not they sent the Bear to distract us while they burned the village or they hoped that the village being destroyed would distract us enough for the lone Bear to infiltrate the castle, I’m not sure.

I’m just glad that Ruby did what she did. I’m also extremely glad that she got the upper hand, because I don’t know what I would do if she was the one who was killed instead.

The thought of her wolf finally emerging gives me hope that she’ll mark me soon. My own wolf hasn’t stopped yowling about it since I saw Ruby that night, begging me to let him get close. I keep telling him no, however, for two reasons: for starters, my kingdom needs me right now and I have a lot of work to do following the attack on the hybrid village. And secondly, Ruby has to be the one to mark me.

If she feels uncomfortable, coerced, or afraid, it won’t work. I’ll be mateless and turn into a Rogue.

If only Ruby wouldn’t be so distant from me and would want to be around me for once. I wish I could go back and undo what I did that day when I pulled her out of school. I should’ve listened to her, should’ve kept her in school. I should’ve made sure she knows that I’ll always be on her side, but instead I was rash and angry.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to make it up to her on her birthday.

After we learned of the attack on the hybrid village, I sprung into action. I spent the next two days barking orders, fortifying the castle walls, and recruiting more men for our army. I didn’t sleep a wink, and that only made my condition far worse.

I started seeing things. It only manifested in the forms of shadows and blobs at first; just something in my peripherals that would make me look twice, shake my head, and get back to work.

Then, the blobs started to take shape. They morphed into people, animals, objects. One moment I would see my mother standing in my doorway, and the next she would be gone. Once, I even thought that Ruby was sitting next to me. I could see her hair, her red eyes, her beautiful body. Then, I blinked and she was gone.

Time started slipping away. I would look up from my work to stare into the fire for a moment, and hours would suddenly pass. This caused me to skip eating entirely and lose even more sleep.

The blackouts were the worst, however. I would stand up quickly at one point and find myself waking up on the floor several minutes later, or suddenly become dizzy while I was writing at my desk and drop my head into a pile of papers.

While blacked out, I would see spectral images of people that I know: Ruby, my mother, Vivan, Edith, Kayne… They would swirl around me, laughing, grinning, grimacing. When I would finally come to, I would have completely forgotten what happened leading up to that moment.

My blackout episode tonight was far worse.

I was pacing my study after I had just sent Noah and a few men to pick up a supply order at the docks when I looked up to see a figure sitting in one of the chairs next to the fireplace.

Dark hair poked out from around the chair.

“Viv?” I said softly, pausing in my spot. No, it couldn’t be her. I was just hallucinating. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, but when I looked again she was still there, sitting in the same position.

Maybe it was just a coat on the chair. I walked over to it to get a better look, but nearly fell backwards when I saw that it was indeed Vivian.

Her skin was paler than usual, but she still looked beautiful. Even more beautiful than the day I married her. She looked up at me, her eyes shining, and stood to come to me. I backed away into the wall, but she merely kept approaching and reached her hand out to me.

She placed her hand on my cheek. It was cool and dry to the touch, and felt soothing against my feverish skin. I brought my hand up to cup hers. It felt solid and very real in my hand.

“Oh, Atwood,” she said softly. Her voice gave me goosebumps. All I wanted to do was kiss her, but I knew somehow that I wouldn’t be able to.

“Viv,” I whispered, “you’re alive.”

She dropped her hand and shook her head. “Not alive,” she said solemnly. “But it’s alright. I’m always here.” She turned to look at the fire, then slowly stuck her hand into the flame. She turned her hand this way and that. When she pulled her hand out, it was unscathed.

“What am I supposed to do?” I said, sinking down into the chair and burying my face in my hands. “Everything has been awful since you left.”

She stroked my hair, saying nothing for some time.

What felt like an eternity later, she spoke.

“It’s time for you to wake up now,” she said softly, taking my hand and helping me to stand from the chair. She gently guided me over to the spot where I had been pacing. I couldn’t explain it, but something in me wanted to lay down on the floor, so I did.

Vivian kneeled next to me, cupping my cheek one last time. “It’ll be alright,” she whispered.

When I wake up, I’m laying in the same spot in which I laid down in my hallucination. The light from the fire hurts my eyes, but I open them nonetheless.

I can make out a female form next to me. Someone is holding my hand, and in my sick mind, I think that it’s Ruby.

When I open my eyes fully, however, I see that it’s not Ruby. It’s Edith.

“Oh, Attie,” she says dramatically, wrapping me in a tight embrace, which causes me to groan in discomfort.

I look over toward the door to see Ruby run into view. As she looks at me, her face shifts from a look of panic to one of heartbreak. I want to tell her that I don’t want this, I don’t want Edith, I want her, but I still feel too weak to say anything.

Alice comes into view now and calls the medics.

Ruby disappears once more.