Chapter 66

Atwood

Just when I thought that Noah and I wouldn’t make it, Ruby appeared. Her wolf is white, like a ghost, and she’s smaller than most other Lycans that I’ve seen. But she’s beautiful and strong and quick, and she saved my life. Her very presence gave me enough strength to fight back against the Bears.

When the fight was over and we had the last Bear in our custody, I was saddened to find that he was just a boy. I suppose it’s not surprising that the Bears would recruit teenagers to fight their wars, but it still makes my blood boil. Hopefully this boy will be able to provide us with some information that will help us end this pointless war and stop the bloodshed.

I felt immensely weak as soon as I shifted back into my human form.

Before I knew it, I was being carried away by the medics. By the time they got me to the infirmary, I was unconscious.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been out. Hours? Days? Weeks? I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, like I’m in a foggy version of the real world. The castle is empty and cold, and in a perpetual state of darkness. I feel like a ghost floating around, semi-conscious of my surroundings but mostly in a daze.

Am I dead? Or has the sickness finally taken me? Maybe I finally used up the last of my energy during the fight with the Bears and my condition took over my brain completely. Maybe I’m a Rogue now in the real world, confined to my feral wolf form with my human consciousness roaming around in the spirit realm.

The whole time I’ve been here, all I’ve done is search for Ruby. I can pick up her scent, but I can’t find her anywhere. It’s both comforting to know that she’s not here and painful as well; on one hand, her absence may mean that she’s in the waking world and that she’s okay, but on the other hand her presence would be a source of comfort right now. Even just having some company would help.

I’ve seen other spirits since I’ve been here, but they don’t pay me any mind. Maybe they’ve been here so long that they don’t care, or maybe they’re lost in their own worlds, completely oblivious to my existence.

There is one spirit that can see me, however. I haven’t been able to get close to her without her running away and disappearing through some wall or another, but I immediately knew that it was Vivian as soon as I saw her long, black hair billowing behind her as she ran. Why doesn’t she want to talk to me? Why does she seem so afraid?

“Viv!” I call after her as she catches my eye again. I’ve been studying her patterns, and she’s always headed in the direction of her room -- the room that I’ve put under lock and surveillance in the waking world. I figure that I might be able to catch her if I wait outside her room, so that’s what I’ve been doing.

She tries to bolt in the opposite direction, but it seems as though she’s unable to travel in any direction other than that of her room, so I’m able to corner her in the corridor.

Her eyes are like black voids; her skin is pale, almost green, and her bones jut out from her flesh. But she’s still my Viv.

“Talk to me,” I say as I approach her. She stands silently in the corner, staring at me with her inky black eyes. “Tell me why we’re here.”

She doesn’t speak for a very long time. It feels like a millenia passes, but I can be patient. I simply stare back at her as I await her response.

“You’re stuck here, like me,” she says finally. Her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard and the sweetest sound of windchimes at the same time.

“Why are we stuck here?” I ask.

“How long has it been?” she asks, turning to look out the window. There’s nothing outside; just a black abyss.

“How long since what?” I respond.

“Since I died.”

“Three years.”

“Hm,” she replies. “Feels like longer.”

“It has to me, too,” I say quietly.

There’s another long silence before she speaks again. “You’re not dead like the rest of us,” she says. “You’re still warm. Try to touch me.” Vivian slowly holds out her pale, thin hand for me to take. My hand passes right through it as though her hand is an icy cold cloud. It’s so cold it stings as I pass through.

“Then why am I here, if I’m not dead?” I ask.

“Sometimes souls come here when their bodies are only mostly dead,” she replies. “Sometimes they only stay a short while, then they go back. Sometimes their bodies give up and they pass over. Sometimes they stay forever, but their bodies continue living in the waking world. Those souls experience the most pain.”

“Are those the spirits that don’t see us?” I ask.

“Yes,” Vivian replies. “The castle resides on hallowed ground, so it’s a crossing point for many souls. But those whose bodies are kept alive in the waking world eventually lose sight of the castle that we can see, forever bound to the void.” She gestures to the blackness outside.

“Why haven’t you crossed over, Viv?” I ask quietly.

She merely shrugs. “I’m not ready.”

There’s another long silence. I want to pull her into my arms so badly, but I know that I can’t.

“Viv?” I ask.

“Hm?”

“Why did you run from me?”

Viv finally turns away from the window to face me. “There are imposters,” she says in a whisper. “They take the shape of those you love the most. It’s a trick… I’ve seen them devour souls who have gotten too close thinking that they’re their long lost loves or their children or their parents. I didn’t think that you were real.”

Before I can respond, Vivian speaks again.

“It won’t be long before the imposters return,” she says, “so I need to finish this quickly. When you’re ready, walk through the door to the library. That will take you back to your body, but only if it’s healthy enough to let you back in, so be cautious; you may end up in the void like the others. You must trust Ruby. She is the only one who is truly on your side in the living world. Her innocence will protect you, but only if you trust her.”

“What do you mean, she’s the only one on my side?”

“There are many others who wish to do you harm,” Vivian replies. “The castle won’t let me tell you more than this.”

I look down at the floor solemnly. “What if I want to stay here, with you?” I ask. But Vivian is already floating toward her room.

“You have to move on, Atwood,” she says in a low voice. “Love me, but love Ruby more. It’s okay. I’m not angry.”

Just before she disappears through the door, she turns one last time to look at me. Her eyes are still black voids, but I can sense the same love and kindness as that on our wedding day radiating from them.

“Oh, and Atwood?” she says.

“Yes, Viv?”

“Visit my room more. Turn on the lights and light the fire. Let both yourself and Ruby enjoy the room, rather than shutting it off from the world. Most importantly, uncover my painting; I like to watch from there.”

With that, Vivian disappears into the room.

When I go to open the door, she’s no longer there, although I think I catch the white sheet that covers her painting billow ever so slightly, as though a soft breeze has traveled through it.

Vivian was right; I need to return to my body. I have to be there for Ruby, for my kingdom. And so, I head toward the library.