Chapter 4

I had lost our pup about a year earlier. The silver had left damage that treatment couldn't undo.

When I miscarried, I called Lucian until my voice gave out. He decided I was making up another emergency to get money out of him.

He sent $888, silenced my calls, and stayed with Camille.

He never believed there had been a pup at all. And he never told them. Not his mother, not the pack that had spent three years calling me a liar.

In their house, our pup had never existed — because in his, it never had.

That was when I decided to leave. Before I could go to the elders to break our bond, the healer called me back with the results.

Wolf-sickness.

I knew what that word meant. I had watched my mother die of it.

I started treatment that week. I didn't miss a single appointment for the next year, not even when they stopped bringing good news.

But on the day of the diagnosis, I went home and smashed everything I could get my hands on.

I tore apart the silk cord we had bound our wrists with in the ceremony. When Lucian came through the door, I held the two halves out to him.

"Why won't you answer me? Why do you keep sending money?"

He looked at the torn cord, then at the wreckage around my feet.

For a moment, I thought he might finally ask what had happened.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he said. "Or was it not enough?"

I gripped my hair so hard my scalp hurt.

"Then why do you keep coming to my bed? If you hate me, why won't you end this? Why did you let me believe we could have a—"

I couldn't finish. I had lost the pup. Now I was going to lose myself, and he was standing there waiting for me to name a price.

Lucian caught my wrists and pulled me against him.

"Stop. Nora, stop hurting yourself."

He held me tightly, stroking my back. I could feel his hand shaking.

"Enough about the pup," he said. "We can't keep doing this to each other, Nora. From now on—"

His phone lit up with Camille's name.

He looked at it. I looked at him.

After a long hesitation, he loosened his arms.

I sat among the broken things while he left to answer her call. The two halves of the cord lay on the floor beside me.

A year later, his mother was asking why I hadn't given him an heir.

"Leave it alone, Mom," Lucian said from across the table.

His aunt smiled at Camille.

"Why should we? Camille grew up with you. She's healthy, she's one of us, and she'd have given you pups by now."

Camille looked down. Color came into her cheeks.

Lucian put down his glass.

"Nora is my Luna. Whether we have pups or not, you don't get to humiliate her."

His aunt's smile faltered.

I looked up. He was watching his aunt, his jaw tight. It was the first time that evening anyone had said my name without wanting something from me.

"I'm only thinking of you," she said. "You and Camille have known each other forever. I still have some of those love letters you wrote her."

"I was a kid. She's like a sister to me."

I stared at the plate in front of me. He could say that with Camille sitting beside his mother, after spending days alone with her on an island.

My stomach turned. I pushed back my chair too quickly and caught the edge of the plate with my sleeve.

It hit the floor and shattered.

Everyone looked at me.

"I'm sorry."

I couldn't stay long enough to see their faces. I stumbled through the living room and out onto the porch.

"Nora!"

Lucian caught my elbow before I reached the steps.

"Look at you. You can barely stand."

I held the railing with my free hand.

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

I looked at him. That afternoon, I had told him I was too sick to come. Before that, there had been messages, calls, appointments he wouldn't attend.

He glanced down at my shaking hand.

"If you're really sick, I'm taking you to a healer. Right now."

I opened my mouth. For one foolish second, I wanted to try again.

A crash came from inside.

"Lucian!"

Camille's voice rose into a sob.

"I was trying to pick up the plate, and I cut my hand. It hurts!"

He let go of my elbow.

"Don't touch anything else," he called, already turning. "I'm coming."

The door swung shut behind him.

I stood on the porch with the cold coming through my dress. My mouth was still open, but there was no reason to finish what I had been about to say.

This time, I didn't wait for him to come back.