Chapter 3
The next day at noon, I was flipping through my psychology textbook in the dorm, trying to forget what I saw last night. The doorbell rang, and through the peephole I saw Jasper standing outside with a large bouquet of pink roses.
I took a deep breath, adjusted my expression, and opened the door.
"Come in." I took the bouquet and sniffed it. "Very fragrant."
He hugged me tightly, his chin resting on my shoulder.
Looking at his nonchalant demeanor, the humiliation from last night surged through me again. But wait—wasn't this exactly what I wanted? The ordinary fake romance wasn't enough anymore. I needed stronger medicine to cure myself completely.
'Nice acting.' I thought to myself, then feigned excitement: "I want to meet your friends."
A flash of surprise crossed Jasper's eyes, but he quickly recovered: "Are you sure? Fraternity parties can get pretty wild."
"I'm not a child," I linked my arm with his. "Besides, I want to be part of your circle."
"Alright," he nodded. "I'll pick you up at eight tonight."
The basement of the Sigma Chi fraternity house was deafening with music, the air thick with cheap beer and weed. Jasper pulled me through the crowd by the hand, and several guys in fraternity T-shirts looked up at us with knowing smirks.
"Yo, Jasper!" A blonde guy named Marcus raised his beer cup. "Is this the desperate one?"
My fingers instinctively tightened, but I forced myself to keep smiling.
"Not bad looking," another guy looked me up and down, "just too desperate. I heard she chased after you? Are girls always this aggressive?"
Laughter erupted around us, with someone starting to mock in an exaggerated accent: "Oh Jasper, please date me!"
I felt my cheeks burning, but I told myself this was for Gabriel's detox. Every humiliation reminded me how shitty reality was, how fake the Gabriel in my dreams had been.
"Cut it out." Jasper waved his hand half-heartedly, but there was no real reproach in his tone. Then he turned to chat with his friends about basketball, completely abandoning me.
I stood there like a decoration, listening to them discuss which sorority girls were easiest to sleep with, which professor's class was the easiest to pass. Occasionally someone would glance at me with the look of watching a joke.
'Keep going, keep humiliating me.' I chanted in my mind. 'Every bit of pain is helping me get rid of Gabriel.'
Marcus walked over, deliberately leaning close to my ear: "Hey, you know what Jasper's favorite type is?"
I shook my head.
"Blonde, tall, and definitely not desperate." He patted my shoulder. "Just a friendly advice."
I smiled and nodded: "Thanks for the advice."
In that moment, I suddenly understood what they meant by self-defense mechanisms. When the pain becomes too intense, the brain automatically shuts down the emotional system. I felt like I was watching a movie where the protagonist was someone else, not me.
A week later in the afternoon, Jasper suggested we go study at the campus coffee shop. I knew this wasn't coincidental—this was where Aria often appeared.
Sure enough, ten minutes after we sat down, Aria showed up. She was wearing a cream-colored sweater today, her hair in a low ponytail, looking intellectual and charming. I understood why Jasper was so obsessed with her.
"Baby, open up." Jasper scooped up some strawberry cake, pretending to feed me.
I cooperatively opened my mouth, and he gently delivered the cake, then used his thumb to brush my lip corner: "You have cream on you."
From my angle, I could clearly see Aria in the corner. Her hand was gripping her coffee cup so tightly her knuckles were white. Her gaze lingered on us for a long time, with obvious jealousy and pain in her eyes.
'See? This is exactly the effect you wanted.'
"You see, she's watching us." Jasper whispered smugly. "Proves she still cares about me."
I put on an innocent expression: "Do you still love her?"
Jasper paused, his eyes flickering: "That's in the past. Now I have you."
But his eyes kept following Aria as she got up and left, like a moth to flame, unable to break free.
'You don't own me at all. I'm just a tool you're using to torture her.'
"She's very beautiful." I said deliberately.
"You're more beautiful." He answered quickly, but wasn't looking at me.
I sneered internally. Every word from this man was a lie, every action was performance. But ironically, it was these false sweet talks that further diminished my craving for Gabriel.
The fake emotions in reality had become the best medicine for treating fantasy.
The dorm was quiet late at night, Aria already asleep. I lay in bed, waiting for the familiar nightmare.
Over these past few weeks, Gabriel's appearances had noticeably decreased. From every night to every few days, and the clarity of the dreams was also declining.
Tonight, I dreamed of him again. But this Gabriel looked more blurred, like a figure on an old TV set, with some parts even transparent.
"Celeste, I feel like you're drifting away from me." He stood in that familiar room, his voice also sounding distant.
"What if this way we can both be free?" I answered in the dream.
Gabriel was silent for a long time, then smiled. It was a smile of liberation: "Maybe this is better."
I woke up at 3 AM, no screaming, no cold sweat, even my heartbeat was steady.
'The detox is almost complete.'
I turned to look at sleeping Aria, moonlight casting gentle shadows on her face through the curtains.
Suddenly, I had an interesting idea.
I picked up my phone and sent Jasper a text: [Want to see you tomorrow. We need to talk.]
