1379 Book(s) Related to christian funny stories for sermons

The housekeeper’s daughter just locked me out of my own Bentley.

"Bob, drive," Ella Brooks—the school's untouchable Queen Bee—ordered my chauffeur. She leaned into her boyfriend, Ryan Harrington, shooting me a look of fake pity. "My family already pays her tuition. Charity cases don't get free rides."

A bunch of kids nearby laughed, always eager to kiss up to the fake heiress. Ryan glared at me like I was actual trash. "Maya, if someone puts a roof over your head, show some respect. Know your place."

The tinted windows rolled up. Tires squealed, leaving me choking on exhaust.

I stood on the curb, watching my car speed off. She had hijacked my entire life to play school royalty and snag a wealthy guy, convincing everyone I was the freeloader.

I was so pissed I actually laughed. She mistook my low profile for weakness.

She wanted to play the billionaire's daughter? Fine. Playtime is officially over.

Curfew night. Storm-black sky. My werewolf husband racing his red fox mistress through the no-fly zone like it's a goddamn game.

Ivy's wasted, craving adrenaline. She banks hard into my son's flight path.

Impact. Explosion. Metal rain.

Silas cradles his sobbing side piece while my boy's helicopter spirals into hell:

"Easy, sweetheart. You're breathing, that's what counts. Little punk got himself killed being stupid—not our problem."

Hours later, after they've hosed the wreckage off the runway:

"Roxanne? Your mother and son are ash. Come identify the remains."

I'm ready to burn the world down when my phone lights up:

Mom! Me and Grandma are at the underground fights. Holy shit, what exploded out there? Some poor bastard just got roasted!

They never flew.

So whose charred corpses are cooling in the morgue?

My reward for my father dying for the Alpha? A guaranteed forced bond with one of his two sons.

I chose the golden child, Ronan—and paid for it with my life.

Reborn on the day of the ceremony, I didn't hesitate. I pointed straight at Darius, the terrifying outcast brother everyone warned me about.

To hell with Ronan and his fairy tales.

But there's one sick twist I didn't see coming: Ronan remembers our first life, too.

And this time, he's the one who's going to beg.

"We promised each other ten PM calls every single night, no matter what was happening in our lives."

That promise used to mean everything to Eric, until it became nothing but busy tones and angry hang-ups while some other woman's perfume lingered on his shirts. The signs were all there, but I kept dialing anyway.

On cancer diagnosis day, I called him nine times and watched each call go straight to voicemail. When he finally answered the tenth, Stella was giggling in the background and all he said was, "Wren, seriously, stop being such a pain in the ass."

I choked down my bloody pills, stared at my engagement ring, and felt the strangest thing—absolutely nothing. The pain had just vanished.

I dropped the ring next to the signed papers and disappeared from his world.

On our ten-year anniversary, my billionaire boyfriend unclipped my safety harness and shoved me off a skyscraper.

I hit the safety net so hard my bones cracked. It knocked the wind out of me. When the panicked staff finally dragged my bleeding body back up, Brooks didn't even check if I was alive.

He was busy smiling at Maddie.

Maddie Sinclair is his rich childhood friend. She is autistic, and watching me suffer is her absolute favorite thing.

"Do it again, Brooks! Look at her face!" she laughed, waving her phone at him.

Brooks just looked relieved. Her autistic meltdown was over. All it took was almost snapping my neck.

Over the last ten years, this was my life.

When I lost my job, he bought a banner to celebrate with her.

When I was in a car crash, he let her stand outside my hospital room and laugh at my injuries.

Every year on her birthday, he made me dress up as a clown just to keep her entertained.

He knew pushing me without a harness could have killed me. But keeping his friend happy was all that mattered to the great CEO.

I only took the abuse because I needed his money.

But as my own blood dripped into my eyes, blurring his face, I was just too tired.

I finally wanted to give up.

Ryan Aldridge had one rule: he showed up for whoever needed him most.

The problem was, it was never me.

Throat swelling shut in the ER? He was unclogging Sloane Harrington's drain. Anniversary dinner? He left between courses because Sloane was "spiraling."

I forgave it every time. I was the cool girl. The understanding fiancée.

Then my studio caught fire, and a beam came down on my chest.

I lay there—bleeding, pinned, choking on smoke—and watched Ryan vault over me to carry out a woman with a sprained ankle.

"Jocelyn, come on. You can handle this. Look at her—she's shaking."

Something in me went still. Not broken. Finished.

I twisted off the ring with blood-slick fingers and let it disappear into the ash.

Then I disappeared too.

"Arthur, I want a divorce."

My husband was busy draping his suit jacket over Chloe's shoulders, his precious childhood sweetheart. He didn't even turn around, just let out a cold laugh.

"Oh, Evelyn. Playing the sick father card again? That trick's getting old." His voice was dismissive. "I moved your dad out of that private room to teach you a lesson. Maybe now you'll learn some manners around Chloe."

He was so certain I'd come crawling back like I had for three years, begging him to pay for Dad's treatment. So sure I'd be sobbing apologies by tomorrow morning.

What Arthur didn't know was that three hours ago, they'd wheeled my father's body into the cold hospital morgue.

And the divorce papers in my purse were already signed. I didn't need his money anymore.

Five years ago, my ex-boyfriend Jason said coldly when he abandoned me: "Charlotte, you're not worthy of my dreams."

Five years later, when I saw him again, he had become Floreton's tech mogul while I remained a simple sculptor. His new fiancée—a wealthy heiress—sneered at my modest attire: "Someone like you can actually afford to book a top-tier wedding venue?"

She stole my venue, crushed my fingers, and forced me to kneel and apologize: "Say you don't belong here!"

Jason stood by watching coldly, just as indifferent as he was on that rainy night five years ago.

I desperately thought this was my fate, until that familiar, furious voice echoed throughout the entire venue:

"What bastard touched my woman!"

My Bradley had arrived.

This time, I would be the one laughing last.

My husband stole credit for my work, gave it to his girlfriend, and waited for me to say thank you.

He assumed I'd never leave, so he missed me selling our apartment, cutting off his money, and meeting with divorce lawyers.

When he graciously offered me a second chance, I just smiled: "Thanks, but we're already divorced."

They left me to freeze to death in our basement freezer.

The night before prom, my foster sister Leila came crying that I'd burned her Ivy League recommendation letter. My birth parents didn't even listen to one word of explanation—they threw me into that frozen hell in forty-five below.

I beat on that door until my fingers were shredded, screamed until my throat tore apart, but all I could hear from upstairs was their laughter celebrating Leila. Even Justin—the boy I'd loved since we were kids—texted calling me a fucking psycho.

As I drew my last breath, I heard Leila's soft voice outside the door: "Rest in peace, sister."

Now I'm a ghost, watching them lose their minds when the truth comes out.

They left me to die in a burning lab while saving my faker sister. Big mistake.

I hadn't slept in six months, perfecting the neural serum that would save Mom's life. One vial. One chance. Then my adopted sister Mia grabbed it and smashed it on the floor, sobbing about how cruel I was to a "disabled" person.

Mom and Dad ate it up. My fiancé Ryan nodded along—probably because he was banging Mia every chance he got. When fire trapped me in the lab, they carried out "paralyzed" Mia and left me hammering on reinforced glass, choking on smoke.

Want to know the best part? That manipulative snake hopped out of her wheelchair and sprinted to safety the second she thought no one was looking.

Second chance at life? Hell yes.

I'm watching Mia lift that test tube again, ready to destroy everything. But instead of lunging forward like last time, I lean back in my chair.

"Smash away," I say with a shrug. "I'm not the one who'll suffer."

Let's see how this plays out when I'm not the naive fool.

Five years ago, my family burned to death in an "accident."

My loving husband Clifford signed the papers himself—shipped me off to a mental institution without a second thought.

Inside, Becky carved up my face with shattered glass. The same orphan I'd put through school. Then she rebuilt herself to match my features and stole my life—my husband, my son, everything.

Now she marched into the clinic where I scrub floors, dragging my biological child behind her, demanding I apologize to him like some servant.

She has no idea what kind of monster she created.

Ninety-nine times.

I was sent to the punishment chamber ninety-nine times by my mafia don fiancé.

Each time, he watched through bulletproof glass with cold, detached eyes—watching me being deprived of sleep, injected with drugs, tortured until I was barely clinging to life.

"Elara, you're paying for what you did to the Mancuso family."

For the sake of sweet, innocent Yvette—his precious savior—he personally destroyed everything I had.

After the ninety-ninth time, the doctor handed me a critical condition notice. I stopped begging, signed the confession, and vanished completely with my broken body.

The result? When the truth finally came to light, the ruthless don went completely insane.

My parents and twin sister faked their own deaths so she could steal my college acceptance.

I believed it. Sobbed until I couldn't breathe when the cops showed me photos of the burnt yacht. Thought my words—"I hope you all die"—had somehow made it happen.

Two weeks later, I found my sister's backup Instagram: "Finally ditched the boring sister! Bahamas is paradise 🏖"

Something inside me snapped.

Wanna play dead? Stay dead.

I took their death certificates. Canceled their social security numbers. Drained every joint account—every last cent. Sold the house to John, the kind of guy even cops don't mess with.

One month later, they came home tanned and loaded with designer bags, expecting to find me broken on the streets.

What greeted them instead were cold gun barrels pointed at their heads.

"Please don't eat me," she begged. The voice was that if angels. Miniature and meek, quiet as one of the wisps that like to toy with my braided hair. My heart almost stopped hearing her cry.

Calling Tazak back over at the base of the trunk, dirty fingers touched the outside of the rotting tree. Half of a porcelain face peeked out. The saltiness I smelled was that of her dried tears stuck to her face. The dirt had been washed away in small trails where her tears were left in its wake. An amethyst eye looked me up and down, no doubt disturbed by my appearance.

Creed: An Exiled Dragon, known for his ruthless fighting and disturbing appearance. The dragon elders deemed him unworthy of a mate, the Moon Goddess would never grant one that was concieved of ra.pe.

Odessa: A lonely woman who lost her father to cancer, her estranged mother finds her hours after her father's death. She whisks her away to a fantasy world to repay her debt to the Duke of Vamparia. She is now a mere blood bag, but one night fate was on her side. Odessa escaped the vampire kingdom only to be found by a beast who takes her under his wings.

Lucifer the God of Destruction, son of the infamous King of the Underworld, Hades, has come into a predicament that he isn't sure he will be able to handle.
His power and anger grow daily, his father believing Kronos is trying to inhabit his body. He spends his days and nights torturing the souls of hell but it is not enough. His desire to run to Earth and destroy every living thing like his grandfather, Kronos, grows by the day. No longer thinking a mate would sate even his most evilest desires, he continues to try and control himself all on his own.

Goddess of Innocence, Uriel was born from Hera and her mate, Michael, an archangel. Since her birth, they have kept her hidden away, trying to keep her innocence. No one in Olympus or the Celestial kingdom knew of this beautiful angel, until one day she makes a glorious appearance at a baby announcement in the Underworld. Stealing the show, and completely oblivious of stares and whispers, she eats her fill of food only to be recognized by the woman-hating Lucifer.

What could possibly happen next?

Warning the female lead is extremely naive and innocent. She is unaware of the outside world and how it works, including people's true intentions

”What are you doing?” I asked, alarmed.
”What do you think we're going to do?” with all his strength, he rips the dress shirt off his body, and the buttons burst.
I see him completely naked in front of me, my cheeks heated up when I came across his hard and powerful penis, I looked away feeling so ashamed. Scared, I got up from the bed and ran to the door, but before I approached it, his strong, thick hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me towards his body, he quickly turned me around.
”What's wrong, baby? Are you scared?” His lips whispered in my ear.
”I'm going to have you, girl.” Arthur got between my legs, violently, he ripped off the only piece that covered my intimacy.


Arthur Drummond, a powerful and feared mafia boss, discovers that his empire is being systematically robbed from within. Determined to identify the culprit, he becomes increasingly obsessed with a woman named Ariel, a brilliant medical student. As Arthur delves deeper into the investigation, he becomes convinced that Ariel holds the key to uncovering the truth behind the betrayals.

Driven by a mix of suspicion and fascination, Arthur maneuvers his way into Ariel's life, using his influence and resources to manipulate circumstances that bring them closer. Despite her initial resistance, Ariel finds herself inexplicably drawn to the enigmatic and dangerous man who seems to hold all the answers she seeks.

As their connection deepens, the boundaries between obsession and desire blur, leading them down a treacherous path where secrets and lies intertwine. Arthur's relentless pursuit of the truth begins to consume him, jeopardizing not only his criminal empire but also the fragile trust between him and Ariel.

Caught between her growing feelings for Arthur and the moral dilemma of being entangled with a criminal, Ariel finds herself torn between loyalty and self-preservation. As the stakes escalate and their worlds collide, they must confront their own demons and make choices that will alter the course of their lives forever.

This is a gripping tale of love, betrayal, and redemption, where the line between villain and hero becomes increasingly blurred, and two individuals find themselves entwined in a dangerous game of power and passion.

Dear readers, this book has come to an end. Thank you for sticking with me and reading all this time. I highly recommend another amazing novel of the same genre:
. I’d be grateful for your support, thank you!
On my wedding day, I found another woman's sexy lace bra in my husband's car, with semen still on it...

Dear readers, I'd like to recommend another novel of the same genre: Wedding Night, He Called My Sister’s Name

The day I was diagnosed with leukemia was the same day I discovered my husband of five years was having an affair.
His mistress had deliberately taunted me, leaving a torn piece of sexy lace underwear on my bed...

He is a killer, she knows that.
Whatever it is about him, it keeps calling her back to him.
His past will haunt him for life.
She had one goal, graduate college. Now Chloe finds herself in love with a man who should not even exist. To the world, he does not exist. Chloe will be pushed in every way possible and will give up everything she has in the name of love.
Love is dangerous, and so is he.
In this book you will find out how far a Chloe will go for the one she loves… but what happens when she is torn between two guys?

Witches (The Order) is a Dark Fantasy Novel for Young Adults.

Magic, Spirits, Angels, Demons, Familiars, Witch Hunters, Mythical Creatures, Realms, Dimensions, Past Lives and more. This World is full of it.

Spitfire Merianna is a young girl with an adorable twin sister Nelia. Tragically they have to find a way to survive in a world that they hadn't really known of before. A rogue healer finds the two girls and takes them to The Order, a place filled with magic, wonder, combat, creatures and kooky people that would look more at home in asylums rather than inter-dimensional castles for witches.
In between learning new skills and carving a place for themselves in The Order. Sinister strings are being pulled in the shadows outside of their protected space.
Merianna's bounties and curiosity take her closer to secrets she would have been better off never knowing...

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered as he hugged me closer to him. His forehead touched mine, and his eyes closed. I could feel a tickling sensation from my nose. Something smelled like copper, which probably meant my nose was bleeding…

And I could smell him. He smelled like spices, and earth, a faint smell of wood smoke too, and a sweet smell I couldn’t place, almost like berries, but dark berries. I gritted my teeth as my head started to pound. I lifted one hand to my head, trying to quell the pain.

I saw images of grassy lands, flowers dancing in the wind, and his back to me. Him reaching his hand out to me… I groaned in pain as my head snapped back, trying to get away from the agony, making my already sore neck scream in protest.

“I’m so sorry.” I heard him say again through the ringing in my ears.

Suddenly, a lull fell over me. My head went quiet and my limbs felt heavy. I opened my eyes and saw his expression. He was so sad. I didn’t want him to be sad. I reached my hand back to his face, his name scratching towards the surface of my mind. “Thyrion…” I breathed, but before my fingers could touch his face, blackness filled my vision and my limbs simply stopped working.


Merianna had just officially made the Order her home along with her sister Nelia. Discoveries about hidden plans and dark workings were revealed as the mastermind was unveiled to be the Ex-Head of the Witch Council, Dermon, who had devoted himself to taboo magic.
Merianna also uncovered surprising facts about herself during these events. Which made perfect sense as to why Dermon would undoubtedly want to get his hands on her.
But apparently Dermon had something even worse planned than any of them could ever imagine. Could there be hidden answers in the forbidden taboo archives of The Witch Council? Or will Dermon's main goal only be revealed once it's too late?

The night was supposed to be Jace Hunter's biggest win. Instead, in front of a packed championship crowd, he dropped his stick, walked off the ice mid-game, and stared at a girl who was not supposed to exist.

"You are supposed to be dead."

Ava Rhodes has never met Jace Hunter, or so she claims. She came to Northwood Academy for one reason, to find out what really happened to her brother Caleb, a hockey prodigy who vanished three years ago after being blamed for an incident that ended his career and left another player permanently injured. Everyone believes Caleb ran. Ava knows better.

From her first day at Northwood, someone wants her gone. Someone knows exactly why she came. And Jace, the one person who might know the truth, refuses to say a word. Then Ava finds a photograph that should not exist, herself, standing beside Caleb and Jace on the night her brother disappeared. A night she has no memory of.

As Ava and Jace are pulled into an uneasy alliance, they start pulling apart secrets Northwood has spent years burying, and the closer they get to each other, the more dangerous the truth becomes.

Jace has one rule. Never get attached.

Ava was never supposed to be the exception.

She was supposed to be dead.

Instead, she might be the only person who can finally uncover what Northwood has hidden all along.

If she was really there that night, what happened to her memory, and who wants it to stay buried?

Caught up in a gamble costing him dearly, Marcus sells his stepdaughter Sarah to a handsome werewolf mobster named Lucius. He said that he could quickly help Marcus if Marcus gave him something valuable. Sarah had no idea that her stepfather was capable of such a horrible thing. Every night, Sarah cried and tried to escape.

Can Sarah escape from the cruel Lucius? Or will they love each other?

I grew up being my father’s prisoner, didn’t know the outside world. Not in the way I wanted, I was tired of doing only your wishes and living only in my own home. What I most desire is to be free, to live and to love without limits.
And I did, as soon as I met him.
Jordan, it was different and at first glance it won me, it became my salvation, and my redemption. He was much more than I imagined, was the love of my life, but what we did not imagine, however, was that because of intrigues involving our families in the past, our love would be put to the test and thus, we would be separated without knowing for sure what fate reserved us.

"First of all, I have a boyfriend, and I've never been with anyone else while I was with him, and secondly, you have a girlfriend, and you're used to cheating on her with any girl, and I don't want to be one of them," I say and tries to move away, but he holds me between his body and the table.

"And who says you're one of them?" he nibbles my lip, making me gasp "You're better, you're unique." he says and with that, I give myself into his arms, allowing him to kiss me like I've never been kissed before.

That feeling Zac gave me when he touched my lips one more time made me feel as bold and daring as I've ever felt. It made me feel a rush of adrenaline to do something that was forbidden and delicious at the same time. And as I've always said since the beginning, he brought out things in me that I hated, a part of me that I detested.

But at that moment, I loved it.