Chapter 5 Grime

Ava's POV

My body shook with a barrage of emotions that had hit me like a canon ball as I angrily made my way to the room i shared with a friend. On campus, by luck.

And by luck I mean, Mum had insisted I went for classes from home, so I could have according to her 'more disciplined time' for extra skating trainings. She had laid the offer in a good way but I was long tired tired of being caged in.

I wanted to experience life the way people of my age did. Going to college, living comfortably on campus and making friends outside of my forced social standing.

And what perfect way to do that? Outside your immediate vicinity. But the suggestion had been quickly shut closed and dismissed when I had so much as broached it during one dinner. I could remember crying myself to bed every single night, thinking how long I had to endure it all.

It wasn't until one fateful day when Mum had been out of town and Dad had seemingly wanted to cheer me up a little. He had suggested the idea of schooling closer to home but just outside enough i wouldnt feel it. And for the first time since I could remember, dad had my back without mum's influence.

That fact , sometimes, still keeps me awake as I wondered if I had exhausted my 'Dad's support privilege.'

i had expected to see her lying on my bed like she always does. But I was surprised to see her still hooked behind her laptop's screen.

"Congratulations—the fuck happened to you?!" The smile on her face immediately died down as she hurriedly stood up with an ingratiating screeching sound, before the chair went toppling down.

Her face marred with hurt as she slowly took in the grime and makeup stained mess on my face alongside my body before engulfing me in a big, warm hug.

The tears I thought had since dried up, gushed out even more as they streamed down my face.

"Shh..you are fine dear....it's all gonna be okay.." her soothing voice whispered quietly in the silence, punching a hole straight into my heart.

"I-if your clothes get stained by my mess, then it's all on y-you though..." my choked sobs came out muffled in an attempt to wrench myself out of the despair, as I pressed my head even harder against her shoulders like an anchor.

But she only chuckled lightly before smacking me gently behind my head.

"it's okay dear...you were amazing out there. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise okay?" Her warm embrace and cool voice soothed my bruised heart just by a fraction, but still i was grateful to her.

She had always stepped in even when my parents seemed blind to my emotional distress or needs. Only, she wasnt always there went things got to be much for me.

"Shhh....it's okay darling. Remember someone out there wish and pray feverently jist to be in your shoes, and see the world through your lenses." The words hit me like a wrecking ball as the tears boiled down to hiccups.

i knew how many people would die just to live a day in my life, but none of them would last a day in my shoes. It was always easier to think you were better than someone, but what about those still above you?

They didn't have more than a head, so why couldnt I be so much like them no matter how much I sacrificed? But I didn't dare say that to her.

Her just being close by, was enough for me everything to feel manageable again.

"T-thank you so much Trish...you mean the whole wide w-world to me..." Her hands paused slightly at my back where she had been slowly rubbing against. But almost like a fluke, I had observed it before she hummed gently.

"You–" she paused to clear her throat before she continued again. "You are also the best thing. Ava"

We remained in what I could almost call a comfortable silence. Until I felt just enough for me to move on from my grime state.

"You feel better now?" Trisha asks with a bot of confusion still marring her face, but I nodded enthusiastically to her question. I wasn't in anyway okay, but the i needed the space to think about it all.

Just as I moved towards the bathroom, Trisha whose eyes were still trained on me, suddenly stopped me dead in my tracks, as she drew back my arm.

"What the hell really happened to you Ava? Why is your dress ripped all around the back?" Her voice told me ahe wouldnt relent, until she had the truth.

Bit then I suddenly remembered the mishap was probably from where that psychopath had held tightly to rescue me earlier. But I know I couldn't posseibly tell Trisha all about the rash decision i had made today , or worse my sick encounter with that brutish bastard.

I feared the look she would give me when she heard and digested the fact that I was suicidal. She would force me to seek help and this in turn would simehow become a public sensation at last, finally ruining my career. Before it even took a leap of faith.

So I cooked up an almost convincing story. "I-i...it's was actually when I tried looking around for my parents you know... I got rushed into, by this large crowd and basically the whole stampede amd whatnot..."

She looked at me like she was having a hard time believing my story but on another note, she didn't want to dwell too much on it when I had other more devastating experience tonight.

"Oookayy...." she drawled out finally, and the breath i didn't know I had been holding, subconsciously whooshed out of me. With one final smile tugging mechanically at me, I made my way to the bathroom.

The first hit of the warm water across my back, felt like the weight and burden i had carried all around fell off me. Soon, the rivulets of black water pooled around my feet the more I scrubbed at my face.

The longer I stayed beneath the water, the more I felt that rage I thought I had buried deep inside of me, simmer just inside my veins.

'I wasnt born yesterday Sun. Shine! So if you want to prove something to me or the whole world as a matter of fact...You show, not tell!'

His taunting gruff voice echoed repeatedly like a spoilt radio in my head, over and over and fûcking over again.

'Who was he to think I need to prove shit to him in the first place? Such arrogant jerk!' My body vibrated vigorously with the force of it all. And as I closed my eyes to let the water wash away all the self sabotaging thoughts in my head, dark set eyes snapped opened against mine.

"THE FUCK?!" My body shook with fear as I glanced around the bathroom like the mister had managed to conjured himself out to me. But it was just me and my numerous essentials bottles.

'How could he feel so real when I had no vivid idea what he actually looked like? Aghhhh! I wished I was thinking straight for a minute to keep in my contacts!

But it doesn't matter anymore. I was well off in the safety of room and could finally think better. I quickly finished off my routine, free of the gore sight I knew I had traumatized most people with. Myself included.

The next time I entered the room, Trisha was already fast asleep. I didn't know I had stayed longer than I thought in the bathroom. But immediately I turned off the lights she had purposely left on for me, I climbed also into my bed.

It was quite past midnight already as I drew my duvet just beneath my chin. Now at a loss, I quietly pondered over the mess i had thrown myself into now. I already had more than enough piled upon my my plates now.

The skipped classes whose attendance were nothing to write home about, the overdue assignments and the careful reevaluation of the concluded competitions.

"Just kill me already!" I groaned into my pillow.

But I would be damned if I let all this deter me from putting the asshole in his place. And I would watch him eat his words back like the looser he ultimately is.

Game. On...