Chapter 6 Gearing words

Ava’s POV

GRRR!

The first screech of the ringtone echoed loud and clear, drawing me out of my slumber. But the sleep, the mattress and everything in between just felt so right and cozy and comfortable, infact, too good to pass up.

‘Just ooneee….m-more minute…’ i trailed off lazily, succumbing to the sleep. Just when I thought I would get away with it–

GRRR!

“Like what the actual hell?!”

My eyes snapped open colliding with the white ceilings above me. I just wanted one moment of reprieve to myself. And yet, the universe seems to still have an issue with me.

I stared off into space counting down till when I have to move again but that loud shrilling sound disrupted it. Only, something felt–

“OH MY GOD! It’s Grace Sawyer!” I all but scrambled out of bed reaching for my phone on the bedside table. As i stared off at the screen, I couldn't help but feel my pulse racing hundred kilometers per hour.

“Shit, shit, shit! Four missed calls?!”

My voice boomed out loud than I had expected it. But realizing my mistake, my hands flew straight to my mouth, clamping it shut.

I glanced towards the said reason, Trisha's bed–that not only was already empty, but looked pristine did and well kept. No doubt, she was already up and about with her day.

I knew I had messed up more than enough, but intentionally letting her call slide to the voicemail was one thing she wouldn’t stand for.

Grace Sawyer was the epitome of poise and impeccable standards. Everyone in our world knew what she represented. Strict discipline and no-nonsense attitude.

She was known tlaa one of the industry's most ruthless talent scouts, keeping eyes for only those who were worth the hassle.

And as fate would have it, Mum had earlier caught her eyes. She, alongside her agency had later helped with Mum’s stardom during the peak of her career.

This moved her reputation far and wide and not long, everyone began seeing her In the skating world like the one true ace you needed to succeed beyond what you thought yourself capable of.

Those who she had willingly reached out to work with, forever sang her praise till the day they rest six feets beneath the surface. And for that, every aspiring figure skater went beyond miles just to have her notice them.

Well, all except me. All thanks to…Mum.

While this was a blessing in disguise, this had made me garnered foes overtime on the ice arena.

Every year at the High Performance Figure Skating Camp– or Skating camp for short, other figure skater always without fail, felt the need to make it known to the new comers that ‘I was only on there, because of the influence of my Mum and….as you guessed it, Grace.

To think that was usually my most anticipated time of the year, it sure had turned into my worse nightmare.

And No! I can’t just skip it because I wasn’t comfortable. Mum and Grace would make it their unpaid role to remind me that the foul words and   intentional isolation from the rest was all necessary for ‘character development.’

Well maybe, but that couldnt have been the only way.

They weren’t the one always having to listen in still silence about some mean girls talking trash about you and how you are undeserving of everything you ve achieved all on your own.

It sucked then. And it still sucks whenever I think about it.

“Shit!…”

The sound of the dedicated ringtone blared harshly in the room, the same time the cuss flew out of my mouth.

With trembling hands, I swiped, answering the call.

“If I had known better, I would have booked an appointment for a time to have a call with you, rather than be met with a mechanical secretary.”

Her curt british accent flowed smoothly across the line.

One thing with Grace, she had a doctorate degree in sarcasm. And I knew better than to bring up any excuses as it maybe. She believes every professional athlete out there who wanted to make something of themselves, held themselves to a high level of accountability.

Your daily life spoke more of whom you are on the field than you could ever have to explain.

“Good morning Ms Grace…” I managed out as I patiently waited for that agonizing silence to pass. And the barrage of questions looming just around the corner came for me.

‘In three, two, one….

“As you may or may not have seen, the performance was applaudable by everyone who obviously has eyes. And may is say, each one of you displayed the charisma and grace….”

This was good, but I knew better than to ease into her praise.

I tried hard not to get loss in her accent no matter how many times I have heard her speaking. And this wasnt a general problem.

I have met and conversed  with lots of British people and even girls my age at the camp. Rude by the way.

But the way she just has her way around it, and the elegance in delivering her message always leave me in wonders.

Every. Single. Fûcking. Time.

“Are you there?”

“Y-yes Ms Grace. Very much so…”

“Good. Like I was saying earlier, watching it all back, I can say amongst all the participants, yourself and your partner were the least innovative in displaying any uniqueness.”

My breath caught in my throat as she also paused letting the words sink in. Then she continued,

“And honestly, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you both as a pair, don’t deserve the third place.”

My hands clenched tightly against the phone, as my breath strained even harder in my chest. Everything suddenly stopped in a standstill as I listened in pure excruciating silence.

“There was nothing remarkable at all about your performance, and like I always say, this was something you could easily fix….understandably, a year, give or take. You have to push yourself outside your comfort zone, even if it scares you Ava.

"I-I know....but i am trying my best–"

“Apparently not enough!" She cut through my words sharply.

"Look, the others arent better than you and you know it. If you keep taking chances with all these opportunities, at the end of the day, you would have no one but yourself to blame for it.

“Remember what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.”

“Y-yes Ms Grace…”

"Good. You can ask your mum or those before her, they had to go beyond what everyone else deemed as impossible before they were able to break through and earn those titles they all have today. And I can tell you this for free, if you want to survive in the real skating world off your skills alone, then you have to do what no one else is capable of doing...."

The words sink into me deeper, cutting through the resolve I thought I had built around me. And unshed tears pooled at my eyes, with the threat to make my day worse than it had began.

But I wasn’t about to cry. I had shed a enough worth of a year. ‘This is only a constructive criticism after all…they were all looking out for me amd nothing more…’ I motivated internally.

Moreover, she was right, what doesn’t kill me, only makes me stronger.

For the rest of the call, she went through her observation from what she had noticed with me, pointers on what could have made us better stood out from the others, and lastly…dieting plans. As always.

There was always one issue or the other with my diet, my strength and how much I weighed being a determinant of how far my partner could withstand.

We went through the motion for what seemed to be hours. Amd this was exactly the part I detest so much about being shoved up to work under Grace.

She never knew when to stop. But I guess, I wasn’t really in the right head space to listen so much today.

“Um…. T-thank you so much Miss Grace, but Mum has been blowing up my phone for quite some time now. Can I quickly hop on with her?” I asked tentatively knowing this was the inly method or excuse that could effectively work on her.

“Yes, yes sure. Why not? Send my love to her. And David also.”

“Will do Ms Grace. Bye.”

The sound of my phone dropping carelessly on the bedside surface echoed in the room after I hung up.

My body fell lazily, sprawling across the mattress as everything rewind in my head. My heart clenched hard in worry and pain of the lingering words i'd had to digest in the span of twenty four hours.

"What was i exactly? And why wasnt I living up to the expectation of everyone else no matter what I did?" I couldn't help but whisper quietly to myself.

'What if there was actually something else you haven't been doing?....' a raspy voice crept into my head. And I couldn't help but rear back at that one moment.

Something else? What could there possibly be, yhat i wouldnt have been privy to, given i had the best coach –home amd away, the best agency willing to back me up and a skating legend all at my finger tips?

But that seed of doubt had already been planted in there. And no matter how much I tried to tell myself I needed more time devoted to training, I still couldn't squash yhat voice to a halt.

'Whatever it took, I was going to go down that tabbit hole....'