Hard to Love Again

When I arrived at the villa entrance, it was already evening.

The alarm went off right on time, with a reminder: celebrate Levi's birthday.

Two weeks ago, my husband Levi Morgan brought our daughter to attend a summer camp abroad. I originally wanted to come along, but Levi said there were things at the company I needed to handle, so I had to give up the idea.

Levi was the only son of the Morgan family, spoiled since childhood. For his birthday, he never appreciated any gift I gave him.

Before coming, I had only one thought in mind: to cook him a meal myself.

"Mrs. Morgan, you're here!" Bianca tugged at her apron and came forward to greet me.

"Yeah."

I handed her my suitcase. "Is everything I asked you to prepare ready?"

Bianca's eyes showed hesitation, then she replied with determination, "Yes, everything's ready."

"What are they doing?"

I wanted to surprise them. If they were home, I planned to quietly go to the kitchen first to prepare dinner.

"Mr. Morgan went out, and Celestia is in her room doing crafts." Bianca added, "Mrs. Morgan, you said to keep your visit a secret, so I didn't say anything."

I smiled with relief. "You did well."

"But..."

Bianca hesitated.

I could see the uncertainty in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I put on my apron and picked up the washed vegetables.

"When Mr. Morgan left, he said he won't be home for dinner tonight, and told me to just make something for Celestia."

Not coming home for dinner?

On such an important day as his birthday, he's not celebrating with Celestia?

I held the ingredients, then slowly put them down. No wonder Bianca wasn't eager to help in the kitchen earlier.

The soup on the stove was bubbling away. I washed my hands, picked up my phone, and sent a message: "Honey, happy birthday."

Seeing "Honey" on the screen made me feel a bit flustered. I rarely called him that - he didn't like it, and didn't allow it.

But after six years, I'd break the rule just this once.

"I'm going to check on Celestia."

No response on my phone. Levi was probably busy. He never answered my calls when working, and of course, I never disturbed him.

On this summer evening, my heart wasn't peaceful. I had an uneasy feeling I couldn't quite explain.

Opening the door, I saw my daughter, whom I'd been missing so much. These two weeks were the longest we'd ever been apart.

"Celestia, mommy's here! Surprise!" I raised my voice, not hiding my joy.

But Celestia just frowned and glanced at me.

"Mom, I'm doing crafts. These diamonds are so hard to stick on."

Though I felt a bit disappointed, I told myself Celestia was just frustrated with her project, not rushing to hug me as I'd imagined.

"Let me help you."

I moved closer to embrace her, but she squirmed. My arms froze in the air. Was Celestia rejecting me?

But what bad intentions could a child have, especially my innocent daughter?

I blamed myself for overthinking and immediately adjusted my mood, helping her stick the diamonds one by one...

A violin covered in diamonds.

"Mom, quick, put it in the box. Don't mess it up." Celestia reminded me nervously.

I was so focused on managing Celestia's emotions that I only just realized this gift was a custom violin, and the diamonds on it were worth a fortune.

"Celestia, who is this gift for?"

Celestia blurted out excitedly, "Auntie Jessa!"

Jessa Greer!

Levi's first love!

That name instantly burned into my mind like a sharp needle piercing my heart.

"Mom, Auntie Jessa is so beautiful, and she looks even better when she plays the violin. Dad says if I practice hard, I can be just like her."

Celestia's eyes sparkled with admiration - a look she'd never given me.

"You're learning violin?" I steadied my emotions.

"Yeah, didn't Dad tell you? I've been learning from Auntie Jessa for two weeks now."

"Several times she stayed really late to play with me. When Dad was busy, she kept me company. Auntie Jessa is really nice, right?"

Celestia's face was full of affection for Jessa. My head felt like it was exploding!

So the summer camp Levi mentioned didn't exist at all!

So Levi had brought Jessa back to the villa more than once or twice!

He let Jessa spend time with my daughter!

"Celestia, today is Dad's birthday. Did you prepare a gift for him?"

My heart was breaking. Memories came crashing down on me.

Celestia cupped her face and turned around. Yes, only now did she actually look at me properly.

"Dad said that I being good and practicing violin is the best gift for him."

"Auntie Jessa said if I stay home and behave, she'll prepare a gift for Dad that he'll absolutely love."

Celestia's eyes were full of trust in Jessa, which made my heart ache even more.

Since I walked in, my daughter hadn't said a word about being surprised by my arrival, yet she kept proudly praising an outsider. Just two weeks - how had everything changed so much?

I wasn't willing to accept this. I couldn't give up.

Even if I hadn't warmed Levi's heart in six years, why did he have to deceive me? I'd happily finished my work and taken the earliest flight to celebrate his birthday with him.

But he...

I took out my phone and called Levi, even though I knew very well that since he hadn't replied to my message, calling him would cross a line.

"What is it?"

His cold voice matched my cold heart.

"Are you busy? I..."

"Your favorite cherry cake is here, darling. I made it myself..."

A woman's voice came through the phone. So it was true...

My heart completely fell apart.

I hung up in fear, swallowing the words on my lips.

I looked up at the ceiling, tears about to fall. Blair Ember, pull yourself together. I dug my nails into my palm, trying not to show emotion.

Celestia tugged at my arm. "Mom, is Dad with Auntie Jessa? I knew Auntie Jessa wouldn't lie to me. Did Dad say what gift she prepared?"

I bit my lip, my voice already hoarse.

Even though I knew clearly that my efforts over these years were worth less than nothing, I couldn't destroy the pure innocence in Celestia's heart.

"Cherry cake."

Celestia jumped up excitedly. "Auntie Jessa is so smart! Dad loves cherries the most!"

I smiled bitterly. Yes, Levi loves cherries the most!

And me? I'm just driftwood.

"Mom, I'm going to call Auntie Jessa on my watch phone. I want to tell her I'm giving her the most beautiful gift in the universe!"

Celestia deliberately went out to the balcony to make the call. The voice was muffled, but I could see her jumping around happily.

If not for Levi, how could Jessa have won Celestia over so quickly? Then what were all these years for me?

That's my daughter!

Levi is my husband!

I closed my eyes, sinking into endless darkness. Wake up, Blair. You still can't compete with his haunting crush!

Late at night, Celestia was already fast asleep.

She said Jessa would bring her a cake tomorrow, and that Levi wouldn't be coming home tonight.

I guess she went to sleep so obediently because she was looking forward to tomorrow. She even avoided my bedtime routine - in just a few days, she'd already weaned herself off me.

All these years, Levi never gave me a proper status. I know where I stand in his heart, but having Celestia made me even more reluctant to leave this family.

And now, he's secretly seeing Jessa. Actually, even if he was openly with her, what could I say about it?

In Levi's eyes, I have no right to be angry.

Blair, just leave. Leave this place, leave this so-called "home."

I kept telling myself this over and over, but looking at Celestia, I hesitated again. If I left, would Jessa become her stepmother?

Would she really treat my daughter well?

It's midnight. He won't be coming back.

What am I still waiting for?

I got up, grabbed my still-unopened suitcase, quietly closed the bedroom door, and headed straight downstairs.

Bianca heard the noise and came out of her room, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "Mrs. Morgan, where are you going?"

"Going... back."

I couldn't even say the words "going home" - is it still a home without a husband and daughter?

"Didn't you say you'd stay for a few days? Mr. Morgan called and said he'd be back tomorrow morning. I was going to tell you, but I saw you putting Celestia to bed and didn't want to disturb you."

Levi actually called Bianca to tell her things. He didn't call me, instead...

I suddenly felt really sick, like I was going to throw up.

"Something came up at work."

Bianca rushed to the kitchen and brought out a lunchbox.

"Mrs. Morgan, you haven't eaten all evening. Have this on the way - airplane food might not agree with you." Bianca was so thoughtful. This was the only bit of warmth I'd felt all day.

But my stomach kept churning. I waved my hand, refusing her kindness.

I'm kind of strange - sometimes when people are nice to me, I inexplicably push them away. Maybe I've just gotten used to Levi's coldness.

I turned off my phone, wanting to shut out the world.

A cold, empty home - so ironic in the middle of summer.

Dragging my exhausted body, the moment I closed the door, my tears completely broke through. On the plane, I kept holding back from crying because I was afraid people would laugh at me, but now I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Why?

Fate seemed to be playing a joke on me again, like a nightmare. I thought that even if Levi didn't love me, at least being by his side would give me some stability.

He was indifferent to me, but never left me wanting for anything. So when Levi's grandfather, Mr. Aiden Morgan, arranged for us to be together, I didn't object.

Later, when Celestia came along, this adorable little person warmed my heart. I gave her all my love, tried to love her the way my mother loved me. I wanted to be a good mom.

I thought if I focused on family, things would slowly get better.

But Levi hid it too well - one blow and it's game over!

Replaying all the years we'd been together in my mind, it seemed I was always accommodating his moods. The most interaction we had was probably me helping him with those trivial little things.

I took a deep breath and made the worst decision I'd been thinking about from the start.

I should just leave.

If I could have Celestia, that would be the greatest blessing.

"Levi, I'm done hoping."

I decided to leave. Regardless of whether Levi would bring Jessa back, I just wanted some time alone to think about what comes next.

Blair, you still have to rely on yourself!

I packed up my things simply - just a few changes of clothes and a card Levi gave me.