My Clingy Mother-in-Law Is Actually a Legend

My Clingy Mother-in-Law Is Actually a Legend

Joy Brown · Completed · 6.1k Words

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Introduction

My mother-in-law was a spoiled and soft woman.
Fifty years old and she couldn't book a rideshare. Couldn't pick up a package. When the breaker tripped, she cried into a video call to her husband and her son.
The whole family agreed on it. Her only skills were clinging and being adorable.
Then I bled at nine weeks and took myself to the ER.
The OB who picked up my chart was my husband's best female friend. Sable.
She saw me, photographed my chart into their med-school group chat, and hit record.
"Come look, everybody. Dog's wife. Pregnant five minutes and already bleeding from bed."
"Twenty-eight and she's already a geriatric pregnancy. You've got to pace yourself, honey."
The whole room laughed and looked at my stomach.
My face burned white. My nails went numb in my palm.
Thirty minutes later the door hit the wall.
My mother-in-law, the woman who covered her ears in her husband's arms over a tripped fuse, walked in on four-inch heels.
Behind her: hospital administration, the compliance office, and the sitting Chief of Obstetrics.
She pulled the chart out of my hand without lifting her eyes.
"Twenty-eight is advanced maternal age? Normal physiologic fluid, and you called it too much sex?"
"Dr. Smith, is your mouth that filthy because your brain's been marinating in locker-room jokes, or did your ethics get eaten by a dog?"

Chapter 1

I'd been married into the Andersons for six months, and the thing I still couldn't get over was my mother-in-law.

Rosalind lived like something the family kept under glass.

Every morning she woke up and called out, "Sweetheart, I can't find my slippers."

The slippers were next to her feet.

My father-in-law put down the financial section, walked over, lined them up, and knelt to slide them on for her.

Her coffee was too hot. Desmond blew on it.

The fish had bones. Desmond picked a whole plate clean before he slid it in front of her.

Her phone pushed a system update once. A wall of text came up and she carried it into the study at arm's length.

"Sweetheart, is it broken? It's asking me to agree to something. How would I know if I agree?"

The first time I watched all this, I honestly wondered if I'd married into a soap opera.

Callum didn't even look up. He peeled an orange for me and said, "That's just my mom. Don't leave her alone with anything complicated."

"Like what?"

He thought about it. "Online orders. Insurance claims. Topping up the parking app. Finding the parking spot."

I didn't say anything.

So every skill an adult needs to get through a Tuesday. Not one of them.

One night the breaker tripped.

I came out of the kitchen and heard a small shriek from upstairs.

Rosalind was on a video call with Desmond, eyes already wet. "Sweetheart, why is the house dark?"

He was in a meeting. He didn't leave the meeting. He just held the phone up and talked her down.

"Don't be scared. Stand still. Is Callum home?"

Callum was in the shower. She called him next.

Over the water he shouted, "Mom, the panel is right of the front door. Push the switch up."

She sniffled. "I don't dare."

I walked over and flipped it. The living room came back on.

She threw both arms around me. "Wren, you're incredible."

I got a lungful of her perfume and gave up.

My mother's verdict, when I told her: "That's a good mother-in-law. She stays out of your marriage, she doesn't nitpick, she doesn't hold the money. She's just high-maintenance."

Fair.

Rosalind never found fault with me. When I came home late she had the housekeeper keep soup warm.

When Callum and I fought, she went after him first. "If a woman is angry, there's a reason. Don't explain yourself. Apologize."

When I got pregnant she was more scared than I was.

I threw up for two weeks straight and she sat next to me with red eyes. "Being pregnant is so hard. Wren, if you feel bad, yell at Callum. It's all his fault."

I laughed into a towel.

She touched my stomach. Her hand barely landed.

"Do you think the baby thinks Grandma's stupid?"

"No."

Her shoulders dropped an inch. "Good. Grandma's pretty. That's honestly about it."

I choked on my water.

At nine weeks, I started bleeding.

Not much.

My head went blank anyway.

Callum was in an emergency surgery and his phone was with his resident. I called three times. Nobody picked up.

My hands wouldn't hold still, and the first thing I thought was, don't tell Rosalind.

She flinched at a blood draw order. If I said the word bleeding she'd go down before I did.

I grabbed my bag and took a car to Mercy General by myself.

When my results printed, I pushed open the door of exam room four.

A woman in a white coat looked up. Short hair. A face that got straight to the point. Her badge said SABLE SMITH, MD, ATTENDING.

I knew the name.

Callum's class at med school. At reunions she was the one who posted his ugliest old photos in the group chat and called him Dog.

I'd never liked that nickname. Callum said it was just how they talked. I believed him.

Sable's whole face lit up when she saw me. She reached over, picked up my chart, and held her phone above it.

The shutter clicked.

She brought the phone to her mouth and pressed record.

"Come look, everybody. Dog's wife. Pregnant several weeks and already bleeding from bed."

Send.

There were two residents in the room. A nurse. A man waiting to beg for a walk-in slot.

One second of silence.

Then somebody laughed.

The blood came up my face and drained back out.

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