My two half brothers: Uncontrollable Desire

Bennett: Are you coming? Yes or no?

Straightforward. To the point. But acts as if he's still giving me a choice. Very Bennett-like.

I stare at my neighbor's message for a moment. I'm fully aware he knows I've opened it, but responding will only give him the chance to convince me to do something I'm not keen on. He and his best friends are throwing one of their infamous parties tonight. No parents. Copious amounts of alcohol. All centered around the five most notorious guys in Hollow Hill. Outsiders call them the Ravens because that's the name their parents used when they were young. They followed in their father's footsteps and went to Hollow Hill Prep, the most prestigious all-boys academy around. I'm not exactly sure why their parents were called The Ravens, aside from the fact that they were, and still are to this day, a tight-knit group, and no one messes with them. There are all kinds of rumors about them and the things they've done, and those legends have been passed down to their kids. But as they say, if they had done half the shit people say they did, they'd be dead by now.

Bennett and Mason Slade are stepbrothers, but to anyone who doesn't know them, they're practically twins. They're the youngest of the Ravens, having graduated a few months ago, like me. They've lived next door to my uncle Rhett for as long as I can remember. The Ravens were gone for the entire school year, but when they came back home for the summer, they wreaked havoc on our small mountain town. I went to Hollow Hill High. It's where everyone in Hollow Hill goes to school, and it's much cooler than the schools down the mountain. The kids who live in Violent Peak are either homeschooled or commute to Hollow Hill High every day.

After my mom died, I had to move in with my uncle, his son Grey, his daughter Haley, and his stepdaughter Emerson. I have no idea where my dad is, and at eighteen, I don't care to find out. He missed all the important stuff in my life, and I really can't imagine a good enough excuse to forgive that.

The Ravens are treated like royalty because of their old money, power, and their violent nature. But it was when Uncle Rhett and Mr. Slade started Hollow Hill Construction that they became richer than God. The luxurious mansions they build have made them two of the three richest men on the mountain. Tanner is the oldest Raven at twenty-two, and his brother Remington is twenty, the same age as Grey. Tanner and Remington's father joined Uncle Rhett and Mr. Slade and helped double the company's size in both value and output.

The Ravens can have any woman in this mountain they want, and probably elsewhere too. And believe me, they've all had their fair share. That's why when I got drunk last weekend and kissed Bennett and Mason, I didn't think it would be a big deal to them. It had been a whole year since Grey warned me to stay away from them, and I certainly wasn't the only girl they were with that night. For a simple kiss to cause this much chaos is insane to me. I don't know why they're so hell-bent on talking about it. Hollow Hill is a small place, and all the Ravens have been through the same girls. How is this different? I don't have the guts to deal with a big blow-up, so I've been avoiding everyone I can since that night.

I've had a crush on the Slade brothers since before I even knew what crushes were. And it's never been an undecided matter of whether I liked Bennett one summer and then Mason the next. I've always wanted them both equally, despite their differences. I would never tell them that, though. It would complicate things and not give them the satisfaction of me bending to them like everyone else does. From a stranger's point of view, they look and act almost identical. They're tall, both have a swimmer's lean body, messy dark hair, and an arrogant smile that should be considered lethal. But Bennett's eyes are more green than blue, and Mason's are a blue as light as Violent Peak's waterfall. Bennett is quiet, a listener, unless he's backing up Mason. Then he's known to smack someone's ass.

Mason is quick to use his fists, while Bennett enjoys messing with his prey's mind before taking them down. The Ravens have enough money in their trust funds to buy anything or anyone they want. But still, it's rare to see them without those worn-out flannels and beat-up baseball caps.

Mason: Come. Now.

Demanding asshole. That's Mason.

I roll my eyes, noticing yet another difference between the Slade brothers. Bennett has a wider range of vocabulary.

Me: I'm not feeling well. I'll skip this one.

It's not a complete lie. I really do feel nauseous. I let my emotions get the best of me and fucked everything up. I know they talked, told each other I decided to kiss both of them.

Bennett: We can come get you. If that's what you want?

It's not a question. I know Bennett enough to know when he's pretending to be nice to get me where he wants me.

Mason: Shit. Come. Or we'll come get you.

Mason doesn't pretend anything.

I fall back onto my bed, my forearm covering my face and a deep sigh leaving my lungs. That's the thing. It's always us with them. 'We'll get you,' 'Come hang out with us.' And yet, they can't grasp the idea that I want both of them. I've hidden my feelings because having any of the Ravens on your side isn't something anyone wants to do. They have their own set of morals, their own code that everyone follows. External rules don't matter. Nothing is off-limits for the Ravens. They get what they want at any cost.

But last weekend, a whole year of hiding my feelings, I caved and lowered my inhibitions. It started with Bennett. He was looming over me as I was playing flip cup, pressing up behind me like he sometimes does when he's trying to make me nervous. I promptly turned around, grabbed him by one of his carved cheekbones, and planted my lips on his. And I'm not talking about a drunk mouth kiss when you're out with friends. I'm talking about the kind of kiss that steals your soul and curls your toes. After I realized what I'd done and with whom, I pulled away from him and bolted out of the room. I found myself in the backyard and was gearing up to head back to my house and wallow in my stupidity when I was caught by a strong hand, making a scream escape my throat. I remember staring into his eyes as he covered my mouth with his big palm. Mason didn't get a chance to figure out why I was about to walk about a mile back to my house or why I was distressed. I pulled his fingers from my lips and insisted on my poor decision. I pulled his mouth to mine and indulged in his full lips.

I was sure Mason would push me away, immediately calling Grey and telling him what I'd done. But instead, he pulled me closer and deepened

the kiss, his big palm sliding down my back before resting on my ass. It was his fingers digging into my flesh that brought me back to reality.

I pushed away from him and ran as fast as I could towards Uncle Rhett's cabin. Mason must not have wanted to catch me that badly because I made it all the way back home and locked myself in before I heard boots hitting the front porch. I realized I hadn't gotten away from him when I heard a second set of footsteps and Mason and Bennett's bickering voices.

I slid to the floor and closed my eyes, hoping they'd leave. I've been avoiding them since then—ignoring all the messages, hiding in my room every time they came to see Grey. Bennett has been polite in his messages, saying they just want to talk to me. Mason flat out said I need to choose between them. How is that fair? They fuck every female in Hollow Hill with no strings attached, but I can't kiss more than one guy without them all getting bent out of shape about it.

I bite my lip and glance at the messages again. I need to face this head-on. I'm confused about what we should do, not about how I feel. There might not be a way to resolve this, but I have to at least try.

Me: Okay.

I jump up, push open my heavy wooden closet doors, and search for something to wear. If they want to play this game, they'd better remember I'm the only one who can anticipate every move they make. If they want to play Hollow Hill down, making me choose which one of them will ruin my life. I'll bring the damn matches.