Chapter 124

She didn't speak for a long moment. I tried not to let my nerves get the best of me. The scent of cinnamon and brown sugar wrapped around me like a warm scarf. People lined up near the glass display case, and the low hum of conversation echoed off the tile floors and sunlit walls.

“Well… my name is Maya, and…" She cleared her throat. I took another bite. "I'm Tyler's mate."

I froze mid-chew.

"Well, I was… am? I'm still figuring that out."

My stomach dropped.

“That explains the smell,” I muttered before I could stop myself.

Maya looked confused.

"He'd… smell like this café sometimes… I thought I was just imagining it when I came here with Dominic…"

We were quiet again, my stomach churning as I tried to trace when I started smelling it and when it had stopped in the past.

She noticed my expression and quickly added, “I didn’t know about you. I swear. I never even knew he was engaged until the news blew up.”

She looked down. "I didn't know about Vivian either. I testified because that was the right thing to do. I never thought we'd meet again. And I didn't feel comfortable. Even remotely being your friend or being close to you at all without you knowing…."

“Are you still seeing him?”

“No.” She shook her head. “That ended—well, ended isn’t the right word. We stopped… being anything when everything came out. I haven’t spoken to him since then.”

“Did you reject him?”

Maya looked at me like I’d just started speaking another language. “Reject?”

“Yes. Rejected the bond. Broke it.”

Maya’s mouth parted in surprise. “You can’t just reject a mate bond. It’s not like filing for divorce or blocking someone’s number. It’s a resonance. A soul-deep connection. You can ignore it, but it’s always there.”

“That’s not true,” I whispered, unsure whether I was talking to her or myself. "You could reject him, you just don't want to."

She frowned. "You much be a New Beliefer."

I flinched at that. She shrugged.

"Believe what you want about it, but you can no more break the bond than you could break your own soul." She looked away. "It may calm and quiet. I can ignore the way it tugs on my mind, but it doesn't break."

I stared down at the table. My thoughts scattered. “So you’re… just okay with that?”

“No,” she said firmly. “It hurts like hell, actually. I stay away from him because I have to. Because I need to survive this without falling apart.” She set her gaze on me. "And though I am apologetic about how all this turned out, I bear no responsibility in what happened to you. I'm just as much of a victim as you, if not more."

I bristled and hissed. "More? How could you possibly be more of a victim than me?"

"Did you sleep with him?" Maya asked. "Did you trade vows? Did you feel even a remote pull towards him so deep that you couldn't sleep? Do you have to continue living with this or do you get to go off? Find your maiden, find your own happiness now?"

I flinched at that. I wanted to say no, I didn't, but none of that was true. Sure, I'd live the future with Tyler. I thought I was happy for years I woke up to the betrayal and died the same day, only to be thrust back here. But I didn't have to live with that more than I already had. I wouldn't constantly have a reminder of him attached to me. I had no idea what a bond was like. Wasn't sure that I wanted one either.

But if I had to guess. I was going to find out soon enough.

"Then leave. If it's really over between you two. Or are you just hanging around hoping to patch things up."

She scoffed, her voice growing tight. "You're all the same."

"What?"

"Daughters of alphas. No wonder you and Vivian were friends."

I flinched. "You---"

"Having read your story, the fact that you can be so callous about my situation is just proof of that. You might not have been a wealthy as Vivian, but you know nothing of what it's like in the lower ranks of society. You can't sympathize or empathize, or you're choosing not to."

"Don't tell me---"

"You had means," she said. "Support even while your heart was breaking about Tyler, and to be fair, was it really?"

I flinched. "We were---"

"Were you?" Maya asked, staring at me. "Or were you happy that someone was just looking at you and not Vivian for a change."

I set my jaw, staring at her. Something cold twisted through me. It was so long ago that I'd been with Tyler, I couldn't really remember, but her words hurt.

Her eyes glimmered with tears. "I'm not trying to minimize your pain. What Tyler did to you was wrong on every level, but it doesn't give you the right to sit there and dictate to me how you think I should and can deal with my own pain when you have no idea of what I'm dealing with."

I swallowed. “Vivian’s not going to back off if she finds out about you. You’re in danger. It can't be worth it to stay here.”

"She's doesn't know about me."

“Yet. You say we're alike, but that's not true.”

"From where I'm sitting it certainly could be."

I swallowed past the bile that rose up. My stomach churned.

"I would never… do what Vivian did to me… or Tyler."

Maya’s eyes narrowed. “That… I might believe."

I glanced at her. "I'm… I didn't mean for it to sound like I was blaming you for… anything." I sighed. "I just… You still being here..."

"You're still here. You want Tyler back?"

"No."

"And do you think that if I left it would make any difference other than punish Tyler more?"

I grimaced. "He'd deserve it."

"Would I?"

I glanced at her. "I don't know what you want from me."

"Nothing," she said. "I’m not even asking you to like me. I just wanted to be honest.”

I looked at her. Really looked at her. There was no scheming in her eyes, no self-satisfied smirk. Just exhaustion and pain.

“Why tell me? I'd never know if you hadn't."

“Because I didn’t want to build a friendship on lies. And I figured… it would be nice to have someone to do things with. It's complicated enough without me lying to you."

"… you know he won't protect you from Vivian, right?"

"I'm not asking him to… all I've asked is for him to stay away from me."

The words sounded heavy and raw.

"… you really can't… break it?"

"No… is that a problem for you?"

I bit my lip. “I’m not sure.”

She nodded like she expected that. “Take your time. For what it’s worth… I am sorry for what happened. I should have slapped him harder for both of us.”

We parted not long after, the weight of the conversation heavier than the buttery pastry she’d given me in a paper bag. I climbed into the car, feeling hollow and full all at once. I didn't hate her. I couldn't. But trust? That would take time.

The fact that she compared me to Vivian sent a chill down my spine. Was I behaving like Vivian? Was I blaming her for her circumstances? Sneering down my nose at her? Lording my better circumstances over her? Like she said, my understanding of what being fated mate was skewed. I had no idea what she was going through. I had no idea what the betrayal felt like in her position.

I hoped to never to find out either.

Maybe she had a point, but it wasn't intentional. I'd have to apologize to her for that.

That night, I tried to fall asleep early, but my thoughts were too loud. My body ached, not from pain, but from something intangible. As I drifted, the dream came again.

I drifted through cold air, damp fog, the scent of wet stone. But this time, it sharpened.

The water surged up around my legs, and I was suddenly small again. Helpless. I saw my mother’s face, distorted in terror, her mouth open in a scream I couldn’t hear. Then the man, shadowed, looming, faceless. He reached for her. She struggled, clawing through the air and water. Water sloshed violently.

Then there was wind. Violent, unnatural wind. It shrieked, carrying with it a strange, gurgling sound. I tried to scream, but my throat locked up. My mother’s hand reached toward me, fingers trembling, water dragging her down.

I woke up gasping.

My room was too quiet, my sheets tangled around me. My throat burned, and I swore I could still hear the wind. I pressed my hand to my chest where the mark burned faintly, trying to convince myself it was just a dream.

But I knew better now.

It was a memory. And someone had made damn sure I’d forget.