Chapter 138

He picked up some flat disk and the red icing and started piping a flower. A flower! What the hell?

"She made me want to not have so many bad days and then none at all. And it was too late before I realized that. There was a better way. A way that would have made her. Proud of me. Proud to be mine. And now it's just torture…. Because I can't leave her alone as much as she wants me to…"

"You never even liked me, did you? As a person, I mean."

He wrinkled his nose. "I did like you as a person. I still do."

"So how could you do that? Everything that you did, everything that you planned to do."

Beside. And stopped piping for a moment. " Just because I liked you as a person didn't mean that I didn't recognize that. You had a utility to me. Had you been anyone else? Had Vivian not set her sights on you? We probably would have been friends."

I almost laughed at the thought. "Tyler, we have nothing in common."

He went back to piping. Silent for a moment. Clearly choosing his words carefully.

"My father is a controlling asshole. In a user. We have at least that in common."

"And you took after him."

He bobbed his head. " It's not something I'm proud of… My only comfort is that I do have a sense of remorse…"

"Mutual trauma isn't enough to make friends."

"We both hate Vivian." He glanced at me. "And I can assure you, I've hated her a lot longer."

"Is this the part where you tell me you didn't have a choice?"

"No. I had a choice. I wouldn't say any of them were good choices. But I had choices. And I think you understand what it was like to only have bad choices to make." He finished the rose and placed it on a cupcake before piping another. "You and Maya are going to be friends, huh?"

"… It's heading that way."

"I'm glad. She needs friends. Brightclaw's, lonely for her…. I think you too. We'll find a lot of common ground. And it must be nice to have someone else to complain to about me." He chuckled. "Or paint. Hopefully, you're doing more painting than complaining about me."

How did he know about me painting?

"Why are you bringing up painting?"

"You said you used to paint with your babysitter. You said that you wanted to pick it back up, but you couldn't find any time to. And you didn't have the money in your budget to pick up supplies."

I went, still staring at him. I did. I remember telling him that. I remember thinking that maybe he'd take it as a hint and get me. A watercolor set or something? He didn't. He got me something else, but I couldn't remember what it was.

"I guess being a gamma meant that you could at least do research properly. Reconnaissance?"

Tyler let out a wry laugh. "Yeah, but I was also not as much of an asshole as you think I was. Or am."

"From where I'm standing, I don't that's true."

"That's fair… Can I be honest with you, Renee?"

"I suppose since we're decorating cupcakes together."

"I didn't expect it to work. I didn't want it to work."

I blinked at him. "What?"

He blew out a breath and started piping another flower. I wasn't sure what type but it was convincing.

"Vivian told me to pursue you. And I didn't want to. I thought that my half assed attempts would be enough to maybe make us friends. Maybe appease her, and that you, being an alpha's daughter, would know you deserve better and brush me off… You didn't. And it only made me feel more guilty. I hadn't expected you to… I had known then how much of an asshole Philip was and what he'd done to you. Your confidence. So again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for exploiting your trauma, even if I didn't know that it was there until much later."

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't think there was anything to say.

"Thank you…"

Tyler nodded stiffly and went on piping flowers. The event continued without disruption, but the tension stayed with me the rest of the night.

By the end of it, I had put icing on cupcakes, but none of it looked pretty. I threw some sprinkles on there because I wanted them, and Tyler had a whole tray of what looked like rather convincingly decorated cupcakes. And he left without taking a single one with him.

I remember then that he didn't have much of a sweet tooth.

Maya came over. "Are you okay?"

"You taught him how to pipe flowers?"

Maya frowned and shook her head before she dropped her gaze to the tray he left behind. Her eyes glimmered with tears, and she stared at the arrangement. She dabbed her eyes and she grabbed the tray, looking as if she wanted to throw it away, and I stopped her. She looked at me, confused.

"We don't throw away cake." She let out a startled laugh. " You want to talk about what this is?"

She glanced over the arrangement. "Over coffee and cake. Sure."

I helped Maya clean up. And we talked about Tyler sending people off with the cupcakes they decorated. The flowers all had a significant place in their relationship. Lavender were the first flowers he ever bought her. Because she liked the smell. And she was having trouble sleeping in her new apartment. Lilies for her mother's death. Roses for the first time, he told her he loved her. Some of the other flowers had more to do with flowers he'd given to family members like her grandmother, who he was apparently very close to. And the longer I listened to her, the more I realized that I knew nothing about Tyler.

And it would have been cruel to try and stand between them, even though it seemed like Maya wasn't ready to forgive him.

"It sounds like he's not so much of an asshole."

Maya nodded. And it was time to leave. She followed me out. And I caught side of Tyler leaning outside the store next door. They exchanged the look. And I was about to leave when I realized that the car that I arrived in wasn't outside.

In its place was Neil. Leaning against a motorcycle.

Helmet in one hand, a cocky smile on his face.

“Need a ride, beautiful?”

I gaped. “You… drive that?”

“Only when I want to impress someone…. Or I'm feeling particularly troublesome.”

“I’m not sure that’s the safest…”

He handed me the helmet. “Trust me?”

I hesitated only for a second.

Then, I swung a leg over and got on behind him.

Tyler and Maya both looked stunned. Maya gave me a grin, carrying the box of cupcakes Tyler had left behind. They watched us ride off from the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere magical, and perhaps somewhere I can get my turn."

I shut my mouth at that and let him drive us to wherever he had planned. The place Neil took me was straight out of a storybook.

A small hilltop with a clear view of a distant forest, lit by lanterns and glowing flora.

"What is this?"

"A renewal ritual. We made it just in time."

Silent figures in robes moved in a slow, circling rhythm as spells of growth and rebirth unfurled across the barren trees, breathing life into them. He laid out a blanket, opened a small cooler with containers of food and drinks. Everything smelled like herbs and earth and summer.

We sat together, shoulder to shoulder.

“Is this what dating you is like?” I asked, grinning. “Motorcycles and sacred forest rituals?”

“Only when I want to show off.”

We ate in companionable silence for a while. Then he set his container aside and looked out toward the forest, brows furrowed.

“I think it's… time we had that conversation."

I sat up straighter.

“ I've known since I was a kid that I had this mark. And I've been told so many different ways what it could mean for my future? By itself it's not a problem. A boost in power isn't that bad for a witch in general. But…" He took a deep breath. " Tangled up with all the other things that I've inherited, it's potentially the straw that tips the scales, and I know what happens when the scales are tipped. I never want that to happen."

“Neil,” I said carefully, “what are you afraid of?”

He turned to me, his eyes serious, deep. In them I saw conflict and fear. Not new fear like the fear I was feeling, but older fear, like a fear. It was a fear he'd grown up with his entire life. How could that be possible?

"Neil… you can trust me, you know?" I met his gaze. "Just… tell me."