Chapter 54

Renee

My fingers were stiff around the pen, the numbers on the spreadsheet blurring into meaningless shapes. I blinked hard, trying to focus. Everything felt distant, like I was underwater. Details swam in and out of my vision, in and out of my consciousness. What was I supposed to be doing with this? How long had I been working on it? I tried to shake it off, but I couldn't; the edges of my mind numbed out while the fluorescent lights above buzzed like angry insects. I could hear the electricity and the wires buzzing, buzzing. Then I couldn't hear anything, as if I had been dunked in a deep silence. A deep pool through which. Only the loudest sounds could. Drift down. My vision went in and out.

I was cold. Not the kind of cold that came from the overactive AC, but the kind that settled in your bones and made everything feel heavier.

I shifted in my seat and reached for my coffee. Empty. Which was a good thing since I'd knocked it over onto my desk harmlessly.

A stack of audit reports waited for me, another stack behind that, and who knew how many more to come. I was pretty sure I hadn’t eaten anything besides whatever Neil brought for me, caffeine and whatever other snacks I could get out of the bending machine. The calendar widget on my screen said that it had been two days.

I probably smelled like it had been two days.

I really wanted a shower. There wasn’t time to fix that now. There was never time. Not lately. My supervisor must have gotten a nudge from Vivian as I looked too healthy to be suffering properly. Part of me wanted to ask Neil to compromise on his stance with Vivian just a little so she would be too busy to nudge anyone else to torture me.

Someone passing by muttered just loud enough for me to hear. “She’ll quit before the semester ends. Watch.”

"I'm betting before the end of the break."

I didn’t look up. I didn’t ask who it was. It didn't matter.

Instead, I curled my hand into a fist beneath the desk and stared down the paper in front of me like it had insulted my entire bloodline.

I was so close.

They knew nothing.

They didn’t know me. They didn’t know what I’d already survived, what I’d gone through to even be sitting in this godforsaken cubicle under these soul-sucking lights. They didn’t know about the photos, the whispers, the headaches that came with every new sharpness of scent and sound. None of them knew about the dreams about falling over the edge of a yacht and a funeral where only a few people cared and my murderers got to snicker and ride off in a car that my mother's wealth paid for.

My eyes stung. Maybe I looked like a girl on the verge of collapse.

But I wasn’t quitting.

I was going to outlast every smug voice in this office. I was going to get my hours. I was going to pass my exams. And I was going to build a future for myself so solid, no one would ever be able to tear it down again. Safe from Vivian. Safe from Tyler.

I was going to be happy.

I went to get more coffee and get back to work.

I barely managed to unlock the door before Arielle yanked it open from the inside. Her eyes flicked over me—wrinkled blouse, scuffed shoes, hair a wreck—and her expression tightened into a scowl.

“You look like death,” she said flatly.

“Thanks,” I muttered, dragging myself inside. Every muscle ached. The cold still clung to me like a second skin.

The sun was slowly coming up through the window. It was too early in the morning to care. I leaned on the wall.

She crossed her arms. “You’re letting them work you into the ground.”

“I’m learning a lot,” I said, collapsing onto the couch. “It’s an internship.”

“It’s abuse,” Arielle snapped. “And you aren't learning shit when you're sleep deprived and trapped with a supervisor who isn't even around. I’m about two seconds away from marching into that company and gutting whoever’s running your program.”

“Don’t,” I said, too fast, too sharp. She went quiet. "I'm fine, really." I rubbed my eyes. “It’s fine. I just need to survive the semester. Then I’ll have my hours. Could I just… maybe just ask for a lunchbox or something?"

She turned to me, her lips pressed into a firm line. “I want to be honest with you, Renee.”

My heart plummeted. I braced myself for the letdown, the betrayal, the mean biting words, the curtain of her kindness to come down.

“Every time you sound like a burden it makes me contemplate breaking in and murdering that son of a bitch in the most painful way possible.”

I blinked. “Uhm...”

“You are not a burden. You are not asking for the impossible, too much, or anything I would not willingly give. If you want to drive and be independent, we’ve got fleets of cars for you. If you’d like to live the life of a pampered princess and host the best spite parties this side of the sun, I’ve got a few venues in mind and a few tailors on tap that would fit that brooding man who has the hots for you like a glove and your daddy alpha.”

My face burned. “Arielle...”

“I know it will take time to break the habit, but I want it on your mind now. Asking for a goddamn lunch box is not a deal breaker.”

Arielle took my hand.

Her voice dropped. “Renee, you’re smart and tough, but even you have limits. Don't let them take you there?"

I nodded. "I understand."

"Good. And just know I'm pulling you from work and school for a little while."

"What?" I blinked. "you can do that."

"Of course. I’m Luna of your mother's birthpack. I can manage a lot of things, whether because I say or because I make someone else say."

"Why are you taking me out of school?"

"You need to learn how to fight. Not just physically. Politically. This game they’re playing? You’re going to need claws.” She paused. "Better, sharper, more vicious claws."

“I’ll be okay,” I whispered, even though I wasn’t sure that was true.

"Of course, because I'm going to give you all the tools."

I looked away, wincing and rubbing my arms. My thoughts strayed to Dominic before I could catch myself. I hadn't seen him in days, and it felt more and more likely that he really didn't intend to do much about the internship situation at the company.

"You're thinking about your daddy alpha, hm?" I looked up. She cocked an eyebrow. "He not paying you enough attention?"

"Arielle, it's not--"

"Call him."

"What?"

"Call him," she repeated. "You have his number. Call him. Tell him you'd like to spend time with him. Play your #babygirl ward card. From what I hear his usual participant in such things isn't really available."

A spike of jealousy went through me." What do you mean by that? "

She rolled her eyes. "That man hasn't been on a date since Vivian's mother from what I've heard. I'm talking about Vivian, of course, last I heard, she's having a bit of a rough time. I think she's finally pissed off daddy alpha enough." She shook her head. "And on this call, tell Dominic to step up. You think I don’t know you’re looking to him? Waiting for him to prove that the Ceremony wasn't just a fluke?" She smirked. "Want to keep it a one for one point between him and broody prince."

I looked away, jaw clenched. “He’s busy. Clearly. Obviously."

“Busy doesn’t mean absent,” she said. “If you want his protection, say so. You don’t need to be subtle. He is your guardian of record.” She rolled her eyes at that. "And he's going to have to get a better handle on all this sooner rather than later."

“I can handle it,” I told her again. But even as I said the words, that twist of unease curled deeper in my chest. Something felt... off lately. The fact that I hadn't seen him was strange, and now this odd sense of anxiety creeping in?

It would leave me. It only grew stronger and stronger as I got ready for bed, hoping to make sense of it. There was something going on. Something was wrong.

I tried to sleep, knowing I had to get up early, but I couldn't. I pulled out my phone scrolling for a moment until I found an article about Dominic, some charity thing that Bright claw was funding. He stood beside a woman I didn't recognize. She smiled, leaning into him. The photo was relatively recent. Who was she?

I flipped on, trying to forget about the woman and my thoughts on Dominic, but before I could stop myself, like something outside of me took control, I navigated to my text messages, opened my chat with Dominic and typed.

You okay? Just checking in.

I waited. Ten minutes. Twenty. An hour.

No response.