Chapter 7

Neil

I inhaled slowly, holding back the sting behind my eyes. She was mine. Or could have been, in another world where fate didn’t play dice. I couldn't ask her outright. She hadn't awakened her wolf. I could feel it. She was near it, and a part of me didn't want the confirmation. I looked down at our joined hands, watching the way our magic ebbed and flowed together, invisible to the normal shifter's eye but glowing like a fine mist beneath our skins.

But I wasn’t the only one she resonated with. Her magic welcomed mine easily, yes, but it would mean nothing soon enough.

I didn't want to give up easily. Nothing in me wanted to back down.

Why am I not enough?

I swallowed that thought. It was all too familiar, a carry over from hearing too many whispers. I took a deep breath. I looked up at her. My gut tyings itself in knots, afraid that if I reached for her too hard, I’d break the very thing I wanted most.

I pulled my hand back gently, severing the connection.

"Okay."

Renee

The moment Neil’s magic touched mine, it was like my whole body had been electrified. Warmth. A slow, golden aching pleasure poured into my veins. It curled up my spine, tender and electric, soothing every part of me that had been frayed and tangled for weeks. I’d felt his magic before, but this was the first time it met mine on purpose.

The pleasure of it hit me like a wave.

I’d read about this feeling. In my mother’s old journals, in the rare books she kept locked away in her office. Magical resonance and soul-deep connections were the foundations of some of the strongest covens on the continent. But none of those words, no matter how poetic or ancient, came close to this. No parchment or ink could ever translate this kind of knowing. This kind of yearning.

I blinked at him, heart thudding hard, struggling to collect myself. His hand pulled away slowly, but the echo of his magic lingered in my chest, thrumming like a soft chord waiting to be resolved.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

He watched me with those calm, serious eyes, every bit of him grounded and steady even when I could feel the wild edge of his wolf just under the surface.

"I… I just feel like I should be."

"Don't." He shook his head. "There's no reason to apologize for how you feel, Renee. Let alone for being honest, when I'm the one who asked."

"I want to support you,” he said finally. “And for my own sanity, I need to know where I stand. Because if I’m going to keep standing here, it can’t be with one foot in and one foot out." He met my gaze. His eyes flickering with light. "I want to understand. You don’t owe me anything, Renee. But if there’s any chance—any part of you that wants something with me—I want the chance to prove I’m worthy of that.” He paused, then added, “Only if that doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”

I stared at him, mouth parting slightly, the words catching behind my teeth. I’d come here expecting to something, but not this… Not gentleness. Not grace.

My face went hot, and I couldn’t stop the flutter in my chest. I liked it. I liked how gentle and caring, how straightforward and honest he was. Mature.

“I—” I paused, shook my head, and tried again. “You’re not making me uncomfortable. I’m just... surprised. I didn’t expect you to be so okay with this. With me… I honestly wasn't sure if we'd ever have this conversation… You… don't seem to be the type to be so, open about sharing…?” I grimaced at the way my voice faltered at the end.

Neil exhaled slowly. “It’s not the idea of sharing, exactly. I'm not so close minded or possessive that my ego couldn't handle it, I just…" He took another breath, scrubbing his face. "My… circumstances, as it were are complicated. I haven’t felt like this about someone before, and it’s not easy, knowing I’m not the only one, but I'm not that much of an asshole.”

He didn’t smile, but his expression softened, like he understood more than I could say.

“You’re not the kind of person who takes love lightly, Renee,” he said quietly. “And I’m not the kind of man who gives up easily. It'll be fine.”

That did something to me. Twisted my stomach, filled my lungs with something sweet and unbearable.

I looked down at my hands, trying to find my footing in all of this. The truth was, I didn’t know how to make sense of what I felt. I didn’t know if this was instinct or fate or some cruel trick of the universe. But I knew I wanted him in my life, too. And maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to choose yet.

"You're… sure?"

"That my feelings are not your responsibility? Yes, of course."

“Okay,” I whispered. “… can I ask something?"

"Anything."

"Is it… really not a problem for you?" I eyed him. "I… I just don't know where I stand in all of this. I don't…" My eyes lifted to his, steady despite the heat in my cheeks. “I feel like I'm completely out of my element, but I don't want to coerce or any thing like that. I mean--- I'm okay if you can't -- if you don't want to--”

“Breathe." He said gently, but I noted that he didn't take my hand. I almost flinched. "I understand. It's complicated for you. It's complicated in general… I'm not asking you to rush. I just want clarity.”

I nodded at that.

"Let's eat, hm?" Neil asked, smiling. "I could eat at least a whole slab of pork."

My stomach rumbled.

"That sounds great."

We went to the counter to order as if it was normal. He paid and carried our drinks, leaving me with the number. We sat in something like companionable silence, keeping our thoughts to ourselves.

I sat there, tracing the edge of my glass with my fingertip, thinking about what Arielle had said.

A husband and a lover.

It had shocked me when she first brought it up. But now, it didn’t seem so outlandish.

Not with the way my heart tugged in two directions. Not with the memory of that dream I’d had of the warmth of two hands on my skin, two voices in my ear, two bodies tangled with mine beneath the weight of nothing but the night's darkness. It had felt impossible. Indulgent. But not wrong.

And now?

Now I felt like I was living the first few pages of that fantasy.

Maybe it wasn’t about choosing. Maybe it was about accepting that love could come in more than one form, that sometimes fate made space for more than one truth. My shoulders hurt. I rolled them and rubbed at the tension in my neck. I sighed and sat back in my chair, letting the last of the late afternoon light wash over me.

The waiter came with our meals and we started eating. I hadn’t said the words out loud, not yet, but I knew what my decision was.

I was going to keep my heart open. For Neil. For Dominic. For the parts of me that longed for both of them, but I also knew this wasn’t something I could sort out alone. It wouldn't be fair. Neil deserved honesty. So did Dominic. And if I was going to love them, we all had to be on the same page.

My mother had made it work, hadn't she?

“This is going to have to be a conversation,” I murmured to myself. “All of us. Together.”

Neil nodded stiffly, eating quietly.

Soon, he was finished. The waited came back with one serving of dessert. I hadn't even noticed that he'd ordered it.

“I’ve got to head to the pack house,” he’d said. “Some pre-festival nonsense. But I’ll be back in time for the hearing. You'll enjoy the brownie, hm? I'm told it's good.”

I blinked and looked down, noticing the perfect scoop of ice cream on top.

"Yeah…" Then, I frowned. "Wait. What hearing?"

"I've been called to testify."

I blinked at him. “Wait—what do you mean testify?”

Neil leaned back in his chair, casual as ever.

“I mean,” he said, drawing out the words like a slow, teasing string, “I got summoned as a witness in your case against Brightclaw.”

My heart jumped. “What? But why?"

“Mountainhowl doesn’t drag its feet when it smells blood in the water. And you’ve got an army behind you now, Ren'. Me included.”

I didn’t know what to say. Gratitude, worry, panic—they all tangled together in my throat. But Neil wasn’t finished.

He leaned in slightly, his expression shifting into something far more devilish. “But just so you know... I don’t plan on holding anything back. Not even a little.”

“Neil—”

“If bankrupting your other potential boyfriend is going to be a problem,” he said smoothly, “you should probably make peace with the idea of Dominic becoming your kept man.”