Tangled Desire: My Daddy, My Professor

Tessa

I paced around the living room, raking my fingers through my hair in frustration at the shocking announcement my mother dropped. I didn't know whether I should shout at the top of my lungs or leave the house completely. I stopped my movement and spared the woman sitting in front of me, hands resting on her lap, a glance. "You're kidding, right, Mom?" I asked.

When she lifted her head to look at me, the expression I saw on her face said it all, but I didn't want to believe it. To believe that my mother was getting married again—or should I say she had gotten married again. "I'm serious, Tessa."

A chuckle escaped me and I nodded. "Right." I closed my eyes and opened them again. "And you think you made the right choice by not discussing it with your daughter first?" I said in a low voice, my eyes not wavering from hers.

She rose to her feet, her tall frame intimidating mine. My mother had the body of a model. Slim, tall, and beautiful. She had natural skin that sometimes people mistook for plastic surgery. Often when she goes out with Dad, people think he is her father. I mean, it's not like my father was an ugly man. He just got married to my mother when she was in the prime of her youth. "Listen, Tessa."

I was brought back to reality by Mom's voice. She held me by the shoulders. "Carter is a nice man. He'll take very good care of you. Trust me."

I shook my head and pulled her hand away, stepping back a little. "Exactly my point, Mom. You didn't trust me enough to inform me first before making such a big decision." I raked my hands through my hair, biting my lip in frustration.

I took a step forward. "How do you expect me to accept a total stranger as my father? Someone I barely know. I don't think I can allow myself to do that," I said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not ready to have a father, let alone move into his house. I'm not a small child. I'm 19 for Christ's sake!" I added.

Disappointment flickered in her eyes, mixed with sadness. "I know, Tessa. But it's been a year already. We can't keep living like this. Loans, bills, house rent. Everything is piling up. My business isn't doing well for me to take care of everything. And your dad left us with nothing." She casted her head down and lifted it again. I saw tears of pain in her eyes.

"I might not be in the position I want to be now, but Carter is a nice man. He has helped me a lot."

"What about my school, then?" I asked.

"All that will be taken care of. Carter is a professor at the college there. He's in the process of arranging your transfer. You don't have to worry about that." I rubbed my fingers over my temple. I wouldn't deny the fact that my Mom tries a lot for the family. She works as a sales manager in a big boutique in Newark, where we live. I know I don't bring much to the table. My part-time job at the fast-food restaurant doesn't pay much.

I heaved a sharp breath. "So, that's it. We're moving out of this place forever. Leaving everything behind."

"Sometimes holding on to something will bring nothing but pain. Yes, I know we have all our memories here. But they'll be engraved in our hearts. We have to move on and start a better life, Tessa." She reached for my hand and took it in hers.

"I love you and will never do anything to hurt you. Let's start a new life, huh?"

**

I don't know how many times I had hissed inside the bus. I couldn't process the bitter truth of how everything was turning out. "Why do you keep hissing? Do you want the rest of the passengers to think you're hissing at them?" Mom said beside me. We were on our way to New York City, the city close to where we live, Newark. I couldn't believe I agreed to follow her.

I should've stayed back. But I know I would be the one to suffer for it, considering my mom takes care of me. I don't lack anything. She pays my tuition fees and buys me new clothes, and other things. And I know I won't be able to be away from her. I have never stayed alone.

"Okay, Mom," was what I said, turning my head to the window.

An hour later, we arrived at the biggest city, New York. I didn't try to hide my astonishment at how big the city was. We got off the bus at the station. Mom stepped away to make a phone call while I allowed my eyes to feed on the surroundings. "Tessa, let's get a cab."

My eyes slightly widened. "With all these bags?" I asked, glancing at our big luggage. "Carter said he's busy and won't be able to pick us up."

I gulped down my saliva and exhaled. "Alright. I guess this is also your first time." I didn't miss the glare she threw at me in return.

We finally got a taxi and settled in the car. Mom told him the address, and we took off. "Does he live alone?" I broke the silence, making Mom look at me.

"Why do you ask?"

"To know how I should prepare myself to meet his family," I replied, darting my eyes from left to right.

"Yes, but he has one daughter. She lives in Canada. She studies there," Mom said.

"And to answer more of your questions, his wife passed away a long time ago, when his daughter was 10. She's 18 now." I nodded in understanding. I said nothing more and rested my back.

We arrived at the house some minutes later. The driver was kind enough to help us in taking our bags inside. The house was not that big, nor was it small. Moderate enough to call it a middle-class house.

Surprise filled me up as I saw Mom walk towards the window and fish out a key. "Got it!" She cheered with her toothy smile. I rolled my eyes in return.

She unlocked the door, and we stepped inside. I didn't stop anywhere but on the couch, too exhausted to do anything. "Here," Mom passed me a glass of cold water. I gulped it down without asking her how she found her way to the kitchen.

"Let me see if I can find something for us to eat."

She was about to walk away when I halted her. "Wait, Mom. Would he be okay with us invading his house?" She flashed me a smile in return. "Don't be silly. Carter said I should feel at home. And we can't sit here hungry waiting for him." Well... She's right. I was feeling as if my intestines would bulge out due to hunger.

"This is delicious. You deserve an award," I said as I took the last bite of the spaghetti. I gave her a thumbs up.

Mom shook her head. "You know your Mom is a great cook."

"I won't argue on that." I rubbed my palms over my swollen belly. Now I can see clearly.

Evening came, and there was no sign of Mr. Carter. I don't think I can call him Dad or Father yet. It just doesn't feel right. "Are you sure he's going to show up today? We've been here since afternoon."

"He will. He just texted me that he's on his way." I nodded my head boringly and fished out my phone. I had been trying Natalie's number since the time we left Newark but couldn't reach her. Natalie is my closest friend in Newark. I feel bad leaving without saying goodbye.

We heard the sound of the door. Mom stood up. "I think he's here." The excitement in her tone didn't go unnoticed.

"Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. We had a lengthy meeting. I couldn't dodge it." I heard a manly yet strong voice say. Turning my head around, I was met with a muscular, tall, and eye-catching man.

"No, it's fine," I heard Mom say, then she turned to me. "Meet my daughter Tessa."

"Tessa, Carter. Your new Dad," she said. I wanted to roll my eyes at the way she used the title. But because of his eyes that were fixated on me, I didn't.

"Hello, Sir. It's good to see you," I said, forcing a smile out of me. What I didn't expect was to find myself being embraced by warmth. Shock gripped me, and my heart raced inside. Even after pulling away, my body still felt warmed by his touch and his scent. What was going on?

"It's nice meeting you in person. Your Mom told me a lot about you," he said, flashing me a smile. And for the life of me, I found myself staring at him longer than usual.

Mom sensed the tension in the room. She cleared her throat. "Why don't you settle in, Carter? I'm sure you're exhausted," she said.

"Yes, you're right. Let me show you to your rooms." He walked in the middle of us. The moment he snaked his hand to the small of my back, I felt like my heart was going to pop out.

We walked upstairs, and he showed us our rooms. His room was in the middle of mine and Mom's. "Feel free, Tessa. This is your house and your new family. Don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything."

I didn't know why, but the way he looked at me and the way he touched me earlier made my body weak. He even made as much as pat my shoulder, making matters worse. My body reacted to his touch. "Thank you, Sir," I uttered almost to myself as he was already out of sight with Mom.