Unchoosing the Alpha Who Sent Me on Vacation

In twelve years as Luna, I had never taken a single day off.

Then my mate ordered me to.

Ten days in Iceland. No council, no trade talks, no midnight calls about the pack's books.

"Go see Sadie," Cade said, pushing the tickets across the breakfast table. Sadie was my oldest friend. She'd moved to Reykjavik two years ago, and I'd been promising to visit ever since. "That's an order, Luna."

I laughed. I really thought he'd finally noticed how tired I was.

That afternoon, I was carrying clean laundry upstairs when I heard voices behind our son's door.

"Dad, if you do the protection vow with Aunt Celeste, what happens to Mom?"

Cade chuckled, the same way he did when Milo asked if wolves could live on the moon.

"Nothing happens to Mom. There's no mark, buddy. No second bond. I'm just standing up in front of a few witnesses and saying Celeste is under my protection."

"But it looks like a wedding."

"It's just a promise. Mom and I have the real bond." A pause. "She doesn't need to hear about this, okay? Keep it between us, and I'll get you that racing drone."

I stood in the hallway with the laundry basket on my hip and my hand pressed over my mouth.

So that was the vacation.

He wasn't sending me away to rest. He was sending me away so he could vow himself to his first love in front of witnesses. He'd leave off the mark so he could swear it wasn't cheating. Celeste would get her wedding anyway.

All he needed was me on the other side of an ocean.

I set the basket down without a sound and went out to the back porch. I stayed there until I could breathe without shaking.

When I came back inside, Cade was walking down the stairs in a dark green suit. Under the hall light, it looked almost emerald.

"I thought you hated green."

"People change, Tess." He tugged at a cuff. "I'm helping a buddy pick out what to wear for his protection vow. Figured I should look decent."

Celeste Rhodes loved green.

Ever since she'd come back to Stonebrook, green had been creeping into his closet. A forest-green shirt. A green scarf. A silk tie he once would have called tacky.

I had washed every one of them. Ironed them. Hung them up.

"I'll drive you," I said.

He stopped on the bottom step.

"No need." The smile came fast. "It's a guys' thing. You'd be bored out of your mind."

"I don't mind being bored."

"Babe. I've got it." He kissed my forehead, his eyes already on the door. "I'll bring something home for you and Milo."

For one stupid second, I wanted to grab his sleeve and hold him there. Give him one last chance to tell me the truth before he walked out and left me holding another lie.

The door shut behind him.

Under my collar, the mark he'd given me ached.

Our bond was chosen, not fated. Twelve years ago, we'd stood in front of the whole pack and offered it to each other. It let us feel each other's strongest emotions, but only if we let each other in. It never carried thoughts. Cade could shut me out whenever he wanted, and lately, he wanted to all the time.

I had told myself it was stress.

Everyone said we were the perfect match. Cade, the Alpha who'd picked a girl with no important bloodline. Me, the Luna who'd taken a pack drowning in debt and turned it into the biggest trading power in the region.

I still remembered the winter we couldn't pay for fuel at the border patrol posts. I'd talked a bank into the loan that kept them warm. When the lumber mill was about to shut down, I found buyers. When a neighboring Alpha threatened to cut off our supply roads, I sat at the treaty table until the sun came up.

People told Cade how lucky he was to have chosen me.

Hardly anyone asked what it had cost me to be chosen.

"Mom?"

Milo came running down the hall and threw both arms around my waist.

He was nine, all knees and elbows, his brown hair sticking up no matter how much water I combed into it. His wolf wouldn't show up for years. There was nothing tough about the way he clung to me.

"You're not leaving, right?"

I crouched down. "Why would you think that?"

His eyes filled up.

"You and Dad. You're gonna stay together?"

The words were out before I could stop them.

"No matter what happens with your dad and me, you'll always have me. You know that, right?"

He went still.

I pulled him in before he could take that as one more secret he had to keep.

"This isn't your job to fix," I said. "I'm your mom. I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I made his favorite dinner that night. Mac and cheese, crispy chicken tenders, and a pan of brownies he kept sneaking corners off while they cooled.

We could have hired a cook. But Cade liked my cooking, and so did Milo, and somewhere along the way, that had turned into one more job nobody else was expected to do.

Milo looked down at his plate and started to cry.

"Mom, you know about Aunt Celeste. Don't you?"

I put the serving spoon down.

"Dad said it doesn't count. He said it's pretend." His chin wobbled. "I was gonna tell you. I just thought... if it's not real, then you don't have to be sad."

"Oh, baby."

I pulled his chair right up against mine and held him.

He wasn't covering for his dad. He was scared that if anyone said it out loud, our whole family would fall apart.

"I don't want the drone," he whispered. "If I don't take it, can we just forget he said it?"

I kissed the top of his head and held on.

He was nine. He shouldn't have to trade anything away to keep his family together.