Chapter Two

Chapter Two

For the next few days, I left early and came home late. I went to the British consulate to file my visa paperwork and to school to arrange my transfer, all so I could avoid running into Sebastian.

But however hard I tried to hide, I kept seeing how he doted on Vivian.

When Vivian lost her appetite, he had the chefs from three Michelin-starred restaurants on the Upper East Side take turns cooking at the estate. When Vivian said she had a headache, he canceled a signing with a Tokyo consortium to stay home with her all day. When Vivian casually mentioned a necklace from Sotheby's fall auction, less than an hour later he was fastening it around her neck himself.

I watched quietly. I didn't fight. I didn't make a scene.

While I waited for my visa, I started packing. I put all the love letters I'd written to Sebastian over the years and all the sketches I'd drawn of him into a cardboard box and carried it downstairs to throw away.

I'd just reached the front hall when I ran into Sebastian, coming home with a pastry box. Macarons from Vivian's favorite shop.

I pretended I hadn't seen him and walked straight past, eyes forward.

The next second, a hand closed around my wrist.

"Have you been avoiding me these past few days?"

I frowned. "No."

"No?" Sebastian took a step closer, studying my evasive face. "You leave before dawn every day and come back in the middle of the night. When you pass me on the stairs, you don't even say hello. All because I'm with Vivian?"

"That's not it." I shook my head, completely serious. "Uncle Sebastian, I'm truly happy that you get to be with the person you love. I've accepted that you'll never like me, so I won't like you anymore either."

I was only stating a fact. But his face darkened.

I didn't like him anymore.

To him, that must have sounded like the most absurd thing in the world.

"You confessed to me, I said no. You followed me around constantly, I still said no. So now you're trying a new approach to get my attention?"

He watched my face as he spoke. I was visibly taken aback, which probably only convinced him he was right. His gaze dropped to the box in my arms, and his voice went colder.

"You don't like me, but you wrote me all these letters? Drew all these pictures of me behind my back? You chased me for three years, and now all of a sudden you just don't like me? Lila, don't you think that's ridiculous?"

I looked at him quietly.

Of course I knew it was ridiculous. Cry wolf enough times, and no one believes you anymore.

But ridiculous things can still be true.

"Uncle Sebastian, I did like you for a long time. But you'll never like me back, so I've really given up."

Then, right in front of him, I dumped out everything in the box.

There was the first letter, written on my sixteenth birthday. There was his profile, going over contracts in the study. There was his back as he stood smoking by the Hudson. I tore them up one by one, into tiny pieces, like taking apart an old dress that didn't fit anymore.

Through the drifting scraps of paper, I saw that his face showed no relief at all. Instead, it slowly darkened.

I was wondering if I'd seen wrong when his voice came, cold, beside my ear.

"Keep pretending. Go on. Lila, remember this: whatever games you play, the only one I like is Vivian."

After that day, we didn't say another word to each other. I had nothing left to say, and he'd decided I was playing hard to get and couldn't be bothered.

The standoff lasted until the Cross family luncheon.

At those lunches, I used to be the center of attention. Mrs. Cross would pull me aside to ask about everything, the uncles would take turns piling food on my plate, and every time, it was Sebastian who came to rescue me from the crowd.

Now every eye in the room had moved to Vivian.

After all, she was the future Mrs. Cross, and I was just an outsider. Everyone knew which one mattered more.

Vivian hadn't been in the door ten minutes before Mrs. Cross slipped the family's sapphire bracelet onto her wrist. That bracelet was only ever worn by the wives of the eldest sons. In my last life, I was Mrs. Cross for ten years and never once laid eyes on it.

Over lunch, everyone started discussing the wedding date on the spot. In the end, they settled on one month from then.

When it was over, I was about to leave with Sebastian when Mrs. Cross called me back. She said she had something private to discuss.

The moment we were in the study, she got straight to the point. "Lila, I want you to leave Sebastian alone."

"You know he's with Vivian now. What can you possibly do by staying there except cause him trouble and embarrass yourself?"

She made no effort to hide her dislike, and a sour ache rose in my chest.

Mrs. Cross used to adore me. That ended the day I confessed to Sebastian at the Christmas party when I was seventeen. Everyone said I was out of my mind, that I had no shame, that the Harts had wasted every penny they'd spent raising me.

I dug my nails into my palms and lifted my head. "Don't worry. I'm leaving."

I took my visa application receipt and transfer confirmation out of my bag and set them in front of her.

"I called my father a few days ago and agreed to go live with him in London. He's even arranged a fiancé for me. From now on, I'll keep far away from Uncle Sebastian. I won't bother him again."

Mrs. Cross turned the pages over and read them twice before her expression eased. "You'd better keep your word."

Only after she left did I let my tense shoulders drop. I put the documents back in my bag, turned around—and found myself face to face with Sebastian in the doorway.

"Keep far away from whom?"

My mind went blank. I didn't know how much he'd heard. I only knew, on instinct, that I didn't want him to know I was leaving. My last life had taught me too painful a lesson. I didn't want him to have a hand in a single decision of my life ever again.

"No one. You heard wrong."

I stepped around him to go, but his voice followed me.

"I know you don't want to go to London. When Vivian and I are married, you don't have to move out. Your father is my friend. I can take care of you for the rest of your life."

My eyes went wide.

Even Vivian, who'd come down the hall looking for him, froze where she stood.

Sebastian himself seemed shocked he'd said it. Whatever came next stuck in his throat.

I felt a venomous stare nail itself to my back. Only then did I come to my senses and hurry away.

I didn't take Sebastian's words to heart. I just waited quietly for my visa.

But Vivian wouldn't let it go.

One day, she warmly dragged me out shopping on Fifth Avenue, saying she wanted to make it up to me for taking my room. We hadn't been in the car ten minutes. I took one sip of the sparkling water she handed me, and everything went black.

When I opened my eyes again, the salty sea wind was rushing up my nose.

I was bound hand and foot and dangling from a cliff at Montauk, the far tip of Long Island. A hundred feet below me, the Atlantic churned white.