Ambivalence:An Interracial Billionaire Love Story

DIONNAH'S POV

It was almost the end of my final year in high school, the moment I was dreading the most. The moment when I had to part from my one true love, the man of my dreams, the one who held my heart, Derick.

Derick and I had been together forever. We were always doing everything together, from studying to going to church, going to school, or even just hanging out. Our parents were really good friends. I knew they were secretly planning our wedding and even picking out baby names behind our backs.

Who could blame them, I was also doing some planning in my head.

Since Derick took my virginity, we'd become even closer. I felt confident about our love and hoped that we would be together forever.

It was the Friday that Derick was going to leave for college.

"Dionnah, Derick's here," I heard my mom say as she knocked on my door.

Derick was leaving for college in a different state and I was flying out with him. It was hard for me to accept at first but I eventually did. Derick reassured me that the love we had for each other could conquer anything thrown at us and like a fool, I believed him.

"I'll be right down ma," I shouted.

I heard her footsteps on the stairs as I applied some peach lip gloss and a little mascara. I wasn't into the whole makeup bit. I was young, black, and beautiful and I believed in showing off my natural beauty.

I hurried down the stairs and greeted everyone starting with my dad, who was a lawyer. He was already dressed for work and waiting on my older sister Danielle who was attending design school. Her school was near my dad's firm so he would carry her there. I for one thought that she was being a cheapskate since she had her car and would only drive it for her recreational purposes. 'To conserve on gas and save the environment she would say '.

"Morning Derick," I said as I kissed his cheek.

"Morning DeeDee," he smiled.

I wasn't too fond of the name DeeDee since it sounded like doo-doo, which is the name my ancestors in Africa called poop. But since it was Derick saying it I accepted it.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked as he finished his glass of orange juice.

"Yes, my mom and dad are waiting in the car, and so is Lydia."

Lydia is his sister who was only two years younger than we were. She and I became close and confided in each other.

"Okay let's go."

Three hours later and we reached our destination. In no time we found Derick's dorm room. We unpacked his belongings and then went to grab some food. After eating, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell said their goodbyes along with Lydia who shed a few tears.

Since I wasn't flying back until Monday I got a hotel room since I couldn't stay on Campus.

Derrick joined me in the hotel room. We made love like it was our last time together.

Even though I didn't have anything to compare our lovemaking to, I always wondered if there was more. It felt like something was missing. The few times we did it was great but not earth-shattering. I didn't even know if I climaxed but I had to just work with his emotions and the moments.

"I'm gonna miss you," I told him as he pulled me to cuddle with him.

"I'll miss you more," he sighed.

"Promise me we'll always be together."

"I promise," he said and kissed my nose. "Promise me you won't fuck anyone else."

"Derick!" I said swatting his arm. "You know I won't sleep with anyone else."

"Okay," he yawned before dozing off.

"Now you promise me the same."

Silence.

"Derick?" I called out.

He must've fallen asleep because all I heard was his steady breathing and light snores.

It had been two months since I last saw Derick. The only thing that kept me going was the phone calls and text messages. We would also do video calls and our occasional phone sex, which I found weird and slightly uncomfortable but I played along to please him.

One particular phone call had me confused. I called his phone and a girl's voice answered and then she ended the call when I greeted. I asked him about it and he kept saying I dialed the wrong number and brushed it aside. I was a little suspicious because how could I not know my man's phone number?

Our conversations were becoming less and noninspiring. Sometimes I felt like we were drifting apart. I mentioned it to him and he said it was because of the stress from college and being so far apart. He promised things would get better soon and as usual I believed him.

One day he called me saying we needed to talk.

"Talk about what babe?" I asked.

"Us."

"What about us?" I asked confused.

"I don't think this is working out Dionnah," he dropped on me.

"What! What do you mean?"

"Dionnah, I love you but I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" I asked as tears began to well up in my eyes.

"This us thing. I don't want it to be an us anymore. I need to be by myself, you know, to focus on me."

"Derick please don't do this. We can talk it over. As you said it's just stress. You are stressed and not thinking clearly."

"I'm thinking as clear as can be. There's a whole new world to explore out here. And I plan on doing just that. So out of a clean conscience, I had to let you know."

I was now crying as the realization hit me fully. Derick was dumping me, just like that.

"Why, did you meet someone, Derick?"

"Let's just say I've dipped in a little cream and I love it."

"Are you kidding?" I sobbed

"I can't believe you did this to me. All those years and you just do this."

"Life happens DeeDee."

"Don't call me that you asshole, I hate you," I blurted. "I hate you! I hate you!" I repeated hysterically

"Goodbye Dionnah," he said and hung up the phone, leaving me crying my eyes out.

"Dionnah, are you okay?" I heard my sister ask as she entered my room.

"No Dani, no." I sobbed feeling as if my heart was bursting out of my chest.

"What happened? What's wrong?" she came and sat on the bed and placed her hand over my shoulder.

"Der__ Der__" I sobbed trying to catch my breath.

"Who? what?" She asked, "Did something happen to Derick?"

"He left me, Dani, he broke up with me."

"What! That little shithead."

"He just called and said he doesn't want me anymore and that he found a new world to explore. He said something about dipping in cream. I think he cheated with a white girl," I sobbed on her shoulder.

"I'll kill him."

"And the worse part is he took my virginity Dani and you know how much I wanted to marry first. But I thought he was the one. He tricked me. I thought he loved me, Dani."

"I'll find him and cut his dick off, that piece of shit." My sister cursed.

"I hate him, I hate him."

"Me too sis, me too," she said as she rubbed my back.

"I'll never let this happen to me again. I'm not going to fall for anyone. I don't want to fall in love again," I sniffled.

"Don't worry sis I'll always be here for you. From now on no matter what, I'll protect you. I love you so much."

"I love you too Dani. Just promise me you'll never let me fall into this same predicament."

"I promise sis. I got your back."

That was all I needed to hear. I felt a lot better. I planned on taking my life into my own hands and doing what I want and doing it at my own pace.

I hated Derick and I hated that he cheated on me with someone that was not colored. I blamed her, the poor white girl for taking what was mine, so I promised myself that I would never date a white man, ever.

That was until I met him...