CRAVING HIM

I moaned as Pete pressed his mouth on mine to kiss me while I straddle his lap. Within seconds, he had his hands on my butt pulling me closer. I can feel the bulge in his jeans growing and pressing against me . I deepened the kiss, pulling him harder against my chest while my hands flew to his hair and knobble in between them. I felt his hand crawl up to my stomach. He trailer his hand upwards until he is cupping one of my breasts. I whimper against his lips not wanting him to stop. He started to unbutton my shirt and that was when I was brought back to the real world.

"Pete" I called, withdrawing my lips away from his and pushing him back a bit to look at his face. He stopped kissing and withdrew his hands on my butt. He looked angry. He always does whenever I pull away.

"Annie, we can't be doing this. We've been together for a year now" His tone is serious "We've never get past kissing"

Pete has been my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We went to the same high school but only got together when we got to college. He is cute and fun.

"I'm not ready yet, Pete" I said for what felt like the umpteenth time. I can't believe we are going back on this. What can't he just understand?

"We discussed this already" I got up on his lap and sat beside him on the bed in his dorm. Today, I'll be going home for the summer break and we won't be seeing each other for the next month so we're trying to fill in everything we can.

"It's not going to work Annie" He says again.

"What?"

"Me and you. " He dragged his hands between us pointing at me then back to him.

"Right now, you're going back to your parents house and I'm going back to mine. It's the summer break, Annie we won't see each other for a whole month. How do you plan on doing this?"

Now I realize where this is going. Although Pete and I have been together for a little over a year, we've never had sex. I'm not ready to give up my virginity yet. I know Pete does go after other girls. The girls in my dorm and Ava, my roommate do tell me all about it and wonder why I'm still with the douchebag. The reality is that no guy on campus will be as patient as Pete. As long as we aren't having sex, I don't care if he gets it from someone else. There's no logical reason why I'm still a virgin at nineteen. Most girls of my age had given it up. I think I've never found the right person.

"I thought we arranged long distance and If worse comes to worse, you can come see me. My father wouldn't mind"

He laughs.

"I don't do long distance babe" He said plainly as if stating a fact.

"It's just a few hours"

"It's a seven hour drive. And I can't come down there if we aren't going to do anything other than a few stolen kisses like some high school kids"

Wow. I can't believe this is coming from him. Perhaps those girls were right when they asked him to dump his stupid ass.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked even if it was glaring that he was doing it. He literally just told me, we can't work again.

"That's it Annie, you still don't get it" he stands up to face me. Placing his hands on my shoulder and looking down at my face.

"I'm not breaking up with you. I'm only trying to say, go out, meet people and get laid." He paused as if thinking of the next word to say and then continued.

" Get a few night stands, give up your v-card. You're a beautiful girl, Annie, and no guy would just want a pretty face without knowing what's under. I've been considerate enough and trying to keep up but I can't do this all summer. I need a girlfriend I can fuck not someone who's not willing to go all the way. When we come back to school next year,we can date again. Sorry, I have to put it this way though"

My mouth went dry on its own Accord and I swallowed. I can't believe the jerk just threw it out at my face to get laid. I want to hide and run. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

"It's fine" I managed to say. That's not what I want to say. I want to say more. I want to say something witty and funny and sarcastic or even laugh. Like how other guys would be dying to have a virgin as their girlfriend. But I don't. I think he is right.

I was never attracted to him in the first place. I only agreed to go out with him because that's what everyone here is doing. A part of a college thing.

I've always wanted something bigger, satisfying. I was Always attracted to bigger men. A real man who will make me feel the wonders of love making. I let my thoughts wander to Josh. I imagined how his big arms would wrap around my tiny waist. How he would taste against my lip and how I'll moan his name when I cum. I quickly shake myself from the thought. I can't be having dirty thoughts about my dad's best friend for goodness sake.

"And if you want me to be your first, you know we can do it now" Pete offered. I looked up at his face in disgust. He can't call me out about being a virgin and offer to have me the next minute.

We heard footsteps of people ascending the stairs followed by their loud laughter. That must be his roommate since everyone in the dorm had almost home. I take that as my cue to leave and save myself from any further embarrassment.

"I better leave" I said, fishing out my sandals then putting it on. I didn't even look back at him as I ran down the hallway not answering the greeting from his friends.

"Text me sometime or something," Pete yells after me.

"Fuck you," I say. I wanted to shout at him, but I didn't mind, knowing I wouldn't be seeing his face again.

Today can't be any worse as I stare at the endless and deserted road ahead of me. I've been driving for the past hour, trying to locate the cabin I'm supposed to be going to. Wherever I am right now is empty. No houses, nothing and the wifi connection is shit. I've tried a couple of times to ask my dad which one it is and how to get there but it's not going through.

I'm stranded with only a text message he had sent before I left my dorm. I'm starting to regret the idea of coming here for summer. Not only that Pete, my douchebag of a boyfriend, had just broken up with me but I'm starving and stranded with no helper coming soon.

A minute later, luck finally came my way as I got a connection. I glanced over at the direction signal on my phone and realised the cabin I'm supposed to go to should be around here. I'm close.

And finally the cabin comes into a few after a few more minutes of driving. Despite my mood, though, the sight of the cabin sets off all kinds of nostalgic fireworks inside of me. The house is just how I remembered. Old, small but comfortable enough to accommodate my parents and I. I can't believe I will lose my way coming down here. It's been ten years but nothing has changed. We stopped coming here for summer after mom passed away ten years ago. Dad said it reminded him of her presence. They got this place as their wedding present even before I was born. Mum loved sightseeing, so she chose the cabin to get away from the worries of the city.

I noticed a car was parked in the driveway and I wonder if dad changed his mind about coming. He said he would be here tomorrow and asked me to stay by myself for the night. I parked my car behind the car, shut the engine then stepped out. The car is a black Audi.

Weird.

The last time I was home for Thanksgiving, dad had a black Range Rover. I wonder if he changed cars within that little time. A smile crept up to my face thinking I'll have to beg him to give me the Range Rover.

I decided to leave my bags in the booth thinking I'll get it out tomorrow. I'm so tired anyway. I shove open the door. It’s dark, quiet inside and the smell of lasagna fills my nostrils making my stomach grumble, reminding me that I haven't eaten anything all day. Thank God dad is cooking dinner already. I followed the aroma to the kitchen and found it empty.

"Dad, I'm here" I shouted but heard no reply. Only the echo of my voice lingers on. Maybe he's upstairs unpacking. But first, priorities. I had to use the bathroom three hours ago. I pulled off my sweater leaving me only in my armless shirt and dropped it on the couch in the living room which is barely large enough to hold a single two-person loveseat and one table.

As soon as I shove open the bathroom door, I freeze. My feet come to a halt on their own Accord.

It takes my brain a moment to catch up to what I’m seeing. A Man standing there with his back to me, half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around his torso in the middle of taking a piss.

“Oh my God, I'm sorry! I didn't realize someone is here” I gasp and slam the door between us before he can turn around. That was close.

Who the hell was that? Is dad expecting someone and he forgot to tell me? Dad is not the type to forget any little detail, in fact, he calls three times a day while I was in college. One in the morning to make sure I got up early and didn't miss my class. One in the afternoon to check up on me and one at night before going to bed. Well, that didn't explain why there's a stranger in the house and I almost walked in on him naked.

Where the hell is dad anyway? I moved away from the tiny hallway that leads to the bathroom and on my way to the living room when I noticed something. The light illuminating from the tiny bedroom below the staircase. It used to be my room whenever we came here for summer holidays. I wonder if it still fits me. I gripped the handle and was about to open the door when I heard someone clears their throat behind me. I jumped away from it instantly and looked down, embarrassed I got caught.

"Annie?"

That voice….

I knew that voice so well. The voice in my head when I masturbate. The voice that had scolded me when I do things wrong. The last time I heard that voice was Four years ago when he wished me a happy birthday and gave me my gift. Just before I shoved the diary in his pocket. I turned around to face the person I hadn't imagined would be seeing this summer.