He Chose His First Love While I Died

Mara's POV

My three-year-old daughter Elsie called her father Dorian while I lay dying on the floor beside our bed.

"Daddy, the bad magic hurt Mommy. Please come home."

"If she wants to die, let her." He called us liars, then went back to cut the birthday cake for Selene—his foster sister and first love.

What he did not know was that the curse that killed me that night had been meant for him.

Now I can only watch. My little girl tucks coats around my body to keep me warm. Her father walks past our bedroom door again and again, certain I'm just sulking, because the woman he chose told him so.

By the time Dorian finally opens that door, there is nothing left to save.

——

I braced a hand against the mattress, trying to pull myself upright. My knees had already given out. Black lines spread beneath the skin of my wrist, and every breath hurt enough that I couldn't finish it.

Nyx, my wolf, had stopped answering.

I searched for her where I had always felt her, close enough to steady me when my own strength failed. There was a faint flicker, then nothing.

Nyx. Please.

"Mommy?"

Elsie knelt on the floor beside me. Her nightgown had twisted around one leg. She kept trying to smooth my hair with the same small hand I held when we crossed the street.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, baby. You didn't."

I wanted to lift her into my lap. I managed to move my fingers toward her knee before another spasm doubled me over against the bed.

She started crying.

I reached for Dorian through our mate bond. For months, he had been shutting me out whenever I tried to speak to him that way. Now, without Nyx's strength, I couldn't even press against the barrier he kept between us.

Dorian, I need you.

Nothing came back. The effort brought no answer. I could hear Elsie's breathing getting faster beside me, and I couldn't tell her not to be afraid. to stop being afraid. I was afraid too.

She got up and ran to the bedside table.

"I'll call Daddy. I know how."

Dorian's foster sister, Selene, had shown her which picture to tap in an emergency. Elsie remembered. But the phone wanted a passcode first, and she kept touching Dorian's face through the locked screen.

"It won't open, Mommy. Help me."

She put it in my hand. I entered the numbers slowly, missing one and starting again. When the screen opened, she took the phone from me as carefully as if I might break.

The ringing filled our bedroom.

Elsie stared at the screen, wiping her nose on her sleeve. I leaned my head against the mattress and tried to save enough air to say his name when he answered.

"Mara, I told you I'm busy. What is it this time?"

Elsie flinched. Then she looked at me and held the phone closer.

"Daddy, Mommy's really sick. The bad magic hurt her. Can you come save her?"

He was quiet for a moment. I waited for him to ask where I was, whether I could breathe, anything that meant he had heard.

Instead, he laughed.

"You're using our daughter now? She's three, Mara. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I tried to speak. Only a shallow gasp came out.

"Daddy, her wolf won't answer. Mommy said so. Please?"

Elsie put her free hand against my cheek. She was looking at me for help, but I had already given her the only help I could: an unlocked phone.

"Mommy's dying," she said. "Please come save Mommy."

"You're just like your mother. Both liars. If she wants to die, let her."

A woman's voice rose behind him.

"Alpha Dorian, come cut the cake! It's almost midnight."

"I'll be right there, Selene."

His voice came through just as clearly as when he'd called us liars, but now it was warm. Elsie heard how easily he could be kind. So did I.

The call ended.

She tapped his picture again, then looked up at me. "Did I do it wrong?"

No. She had done everything right.

I couldn't get the words out. I could still feel her hand on my face, warm and a little sticky, and I tried to turn my mouth toward it.

Two months had passed since the attack meant for my mate. I had survived the blade. I had watched the wound close. I had thought there would be time to get my daughter out of this house.

Nyx was gone. My fingers slipped from the edge of the bed.

Elsie called for me, and I died before I could answer.

I opened my eyes above the bedroom floor.

For a moment, I couldn't understand why Elsie was looking down instead of up at me. Then I saw the woman slumped against the bed, legs stretched out on the rug, chin resting against her chest.

My body.

Elsie had both hands around its wrist.

"Mommy, wake up. I'm hungry."

I went to her at once. I tried to put my arms beneath hers, to lift her away from the black marks spreading over my skin.

My hands passed through her.

I tried again. She rubbed her eyes and pulled at my sleeve, unaware that I was kneeling right in front of her.

"I'm here, baby."

She didn't turn.

The pain that had filled my body was gone. I would have taken it all back for the weight of her in my arms.

"You're sleeping?" she asked the still face against the mattress. "Can I sleep here too? I'll be quiet."

She settled beside me on the floor. She pulled the hem of my nightdress over her toes and kept one hand curled in it. Every few minutes she looked up, checking whether I had opened my eyes. Eventually, her head drooped against my leg.

I stayed beside her. My daughter was asleep on the floor beside my corpse. I didn't know where else a mother was supposed to go.

At three in the morning, the front door opened.

Dorian came into the pack house without turning on a light. He caught his shoulder against the hallway wall and swore under his breath. Even from the bedroom, I knew the sound of him after too much wine.

She woke at the sound of his voice.

"Daddy?"

She got to her feet, using the mattress to steady herself, and hurried into the hall. I followed her.

Dorian looked down at her nightgown and bare feet.

"Why are you up? You've got training in the morning."

Elsie shook her head, then stopped. She had been waiting for him for so long that she seemed unsure what to say first.

"Where's your mother?"

She pointed.

He took her hand and walked toward our room. I went ahead of them, through the door, and looked at my body in the pale light from the window.

He would see. He only had to come in.

Dorian pushed the door halfway open.

"Mara?"