Helplessly in Love with My Best Friend
Brown · Completed · 205.2k Words
Introduction
He is not my boyfriend.
Even though I've seen his lips on mine, even though he gets jealous, even though he acts like he owns my heart—he has never asked me out.
I've loved him for as long as I can remember.
I know everything about him. I take care of him. I never forget his birthday, his habits, or the way he smiles when he thinks no one is watching.
When he was sick and needed a donor, I didn't hesitate.
I couldn't watch my best friend die. So I gave him my kidney.
I thought that meant something.
But he loves someone else now—someone new, someone who doesn't even love him back.
I can't confess.
If I lose him as my best friend, I lose everything.
So I stay silent. I suffer alone.
And I keep asking myself the one question I'm too afraid to say out loud, What if he has always loved me too?
Chapter 1
He is Inlove with the wrong person.
It was our last night in mountain high college, we would end it with a prom, and he was feeling heart broken, because his girlfriend cheated on him with a new guy, who just came into the school, and even though he said he wanted to to be left alone, I couldn't let him be on his own.
I went to his house and his mother told me he was at the garden. I was already dressed for the night, I had told his friend, whom I was dating at the time, that I will meet him at the party ground, that he didn't have to come and get me, to which he agreed.
I found him at the garden, he was dressed casually, and he was playing with the the trees around him.
"What are you doing here all by yourself, looking like the world has turned against you Myles? I asked him and he looked away, ignoring my questions, but we have been friends for so long that I know I could still make him laugh, so I sat close to him, with the dress he got me that he hasn't even noticed I was wearing. I had admired myself so much before coming out, that I thought that as soon as he sees me, he would see the beauty before him, but just like always, he didn't seem to see me. We were quiet for a long time, he didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him, he saw that I wasn't ready to leave, so he broke the silence with a question.
"Are you going to keep Jason waiting? Aren't you supposed to be with him now?
"I am not going to the prom without you, if you are not going, then I am not going". I told him, and started doing exactly what he was doing, playing with the trees.
"That would be unfair to Jason you know right? He spoke calmly, this time looking at me, while I still had my face buried in the ground. I know he was looking at me, he should have noticed my dress by now, but no word from him. I turned to him to reply to his questions.
"I care more about you, so Jason could be angry for all I care". I said, and the way he winced his eyes, I knew I shouldn't have sounded that way, so I quickly changed it.
You are my brother, my best friend, I cannot leave you here all by yourself and go enjoying myself, plus Jason is such a bad dancer, I spent the entire week teaching him how to dance, yet he didn't get it". I said and I knew that would crack him up, he chuckled.
"I remember that funny dance he does, and the last time I saw you both dancing, it was terrible indeed". He says and we both started laughing. Soon silence eluded us again, and I thought maybe I should tell him how I feel about him. I really should tell him that I have always loved him more than a friend, more than a brother, but I remember how he winced his eyes when I said I care about him, I shook my head against my own very thought of telling him the truth.
"What am I doing wrong Kiara? I mean, this is the third time a girl is leaving me for someone else. I could have swore that what I share with Ariana was pure, but.....He choked in his words, as his voice broke, as though he was about to cry. He seem to really love her, he even wants to cry for her, and here I am about to tell him how I feel for him? It is pointless telling him about my feelings for him, he would never love me the way I love him. He loves Ariana, and even though she had betrayed him, he still seem to love her. I don't like seeing him that way, so I needed to do something to make him feel better.
I played his favorite song, by Justin Bieber 'My boo' and then I got up and started dancing while I stretched out my hands to invite him to a dance, he resisted a little, and he still didn't notice the dress, even though he was the one who paid for the dress, but he knew he couldn't resist the song, he soon started moving his head and tapping his legs to the rhythm of the song until I pulled him up and he unconsciously followed me, and we started dancing at the garden.
He swinged me around and I fell into his arms, he raised me back up and our eyes locked to each other for what seem like forever, but I saw nothing spectacular in them, not like the way I see him dance with Ariana.
"You haven't done anything wrong Myles, you do everything right. You are sweet, very understanding, loyal, any woman in your life, should be happy to have you, because you are sweet a wonderful person". I could go on and on, and I wanted to, maybe this was my chance, because of the way he was looking at me, his looks had changed and if I thought I saw nothing in his eyes at first, I was begining to see something, but Jason had to show up at that time at his place, and he cleared his throat before we looked away.
"I knew I would find the both of you here". He says, and I unconsciously, sent strands of hair back, through my ear.
"Sorry I kept your girl from you, she was just trying to get me back on my feet. You know how she is right? He says, as he moves close to him and shook his hands in their usual friendly way, while I stood behind looking.
I felt like killing Jason for spoiling the mood, I really could kill him right away, if that would send him far away, but he was still there, looking at me with a broad smile.
"You look so beautiful". He says and that was when Myles also exclaimed.
"Is that the gown you picked from the mall the other day? He asked and I nodded. Angry that he was just noticing me, only after it was pointed out to him.
Wow! it looks so good on you". He added.
"Are you saying, you danced with my girlfriend and you didn't notice what she is wearing until I said something about it? hahahaha, anyways, I know you have eyes for Ariana, even if she was wearing some dirty dress, you will still admire her". He says and he was right, Myles will always admire Ariana, no matter what she was wearing, but with me, I am just a no body, he doesn't see anything spectacular about me and it is so sad that I am helplessly inlove with him.
He joined Jason to laugh, as he runs back to the house to get changed. It felt like they were laughing at me, but Jason came close and held me by the waist.
"Don't mind that brother of yours, he is just helplessly inlove with the wrong person. If I didn't know you are both not into eachother, I would have been too angry, seeing you both dance together". He says, referring to Him and Ariana, when he says, Myles is in love with the wrong person, but I guess he is right. Myles is helplessly inlove with the wrong person, while I am helplessly inlove with him, but I cannot tell if he is the wrong person, but with what has happened this evening, I just know that I could never tell him how I feel about him, else, he might laugh at me. And that would be worse than I am feeling at the moment.
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Last Updated: 1/25/2026
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