I Bought a One-Way Ticket on Our Anniversary

Claire's POV

Ten years into my marriage, I'd traded my paintbrush for a spatula and turned into Mrs. Holloway.

Ever since my sister Brooke moved in, my husband Bennett and my daughter Lucy had picked up a habit. Anytime Brooke and I disagreed, they put it to a vote.

On my birthday I wanted steak. Two hands went up for the salad bar Brooke liked. When I hadn't slept in weeks and wanted to see a therapist, they sided with Brooke, who said I just had too much time on my hands.

We'd decided long ago that for our tenth anniversary, we'd go back to Jenny Lake, where Bennett had proposed. Then Brooke mentioned she wanted to surf in Maui. Another vote. Two to one, again.

Bennett finished booking the tickets before it even occurred to him to look at me.

"There were only three business-class seats left, so we grabbed them. Just book yourself an economy seat, okay?"

I nodded and bought a one-way ticket to Wyoming.

This time, I wasn't going with them.

"Before we leave, let's go get you a swimsuit."

Once he saw I'd booked my own ticket, Bennett visibly relaxed. Even his voice sounded lighter.

He reached over to ruffle Brooke's hair before turning to take my hand.

"Brooke's been taking Lucy to surf lessons. They can finally try it out for real in Maui."

Lucy hung off Brooke's arm, grinning up at her.

"When Brooke stands up on her board, the whole beach is gonna be staring at her!"

She hardly ever said anything that sweet. Not to me, anyway.

Around me, Lucy was ice cold. She looked at me like I was the hired help, and an embarrassing one at that.

Last year she'd told me she loved unicorns. I stayed up three nights straight and painted an entire glowing unicorn forest on her bedroom wall. I mixed and remixed the colors for every leaf and every strand of mane until they were just right.

It was the biggest thing I'd painted since I stopped painting professionally.

Lucy opened the door, took one look, and wrinkled her nose. "Ew. It looks like a kindergartner did it."

The next day, she had Bennett hire someone to paint the wall white.

That night, I shoved my paint box into the back of the storage room and didn't touch it for months.

I'd always thought it was just the painting she didn't like.

Now I finally understood. It was me she didn't like, so nothing I did would ever be good enough for her.

Out on the highway, I caught Lucy in the rearview mirror, curled up against Brooke.

When she noticed me watching, she rolled her eyes and pretended to gag.

Brooke burst out laughing.

"Seriously, Claire, Lucy's the sweetest kid I've ever met. How come she can't stand you?"

Bennett, hands on the wheel, glanced in the mirror and laughed along.

"Right? Every year she blows out her candles and makes the same wish. She wants Brooke to be her mom."

Brooke's cheeks went pink. She shot Bennett a quick look and started tickling Lucy.

"Don't say that! You're gonna make your mom cry."

The whole car cracked up.

Each burst of laughter felt like a punch to the chest.

Lucy was born premature. The day I had her, I almost didn't make it off the operating table. She spent a month in an incubator, and I spent that month sleeping on a bench in the hospital hallway.

But ever since Brooke moved in, Lucy hadn't let me hold her once.

I turned toward the window and swallowed hard.

After he parked, Bennett leaned over, unbuckled my seatbelt, and kissed my forehead.

"She's just a kid. She doesn't mean it. Don't take it personally."

The swimwear boutique in SoHo had the AC cranked way up.

The second we walked in, Bennett drifted away from me and over to Brooke, taking her bag without a second thought.

Brooke held Lucy's hand, Lucy held Bennett's, and the three of them walked side by side, leaving me trailing behind.

A saleswoman came over, bent down to smile at Lucy, then looked up at Brooke.

"Is this your daughter? She has your eyes."

Brooke didn't correct her. She just smiled.

Bennett didn't say a word either.

I stood behind them like a stranger who'd gotten in the wrong line.

My eyes started to sting. I kept them on the floor.

Lucy ran between the racks, pulling suits off one by one and holding them up against Brooke. Every time Brooke tried one on, Bennett nodded and said, "That one looks great on you."

Then out of nowhere, Lucy grabbed a butter-yellow bikini and ran over to me, her eyes shining.

"Mom, you'd look so pretty in this one!"

I froze.

Bennett gave my back a little nudge.

"Go try it on. It's not every day your daughter picks something out for you."

For a second, I felt warm all over.

In the fitting room, I stared at the bikini for a long time. It would leave my whole stomach bare. I'd never let anyone see my C-section scar or my stretch marks.

But this was the first time Lucy had ever picked something out for me.

I put it on and adjusted the straps again and again in the mirror, smoothing out every crease at my waist.

I'd even figured out what I was going to ask her. Do I really look pretty, sweetie?

I took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain.

What was waiting for me wasn't a compliment. It was a blinding flash, and a camera going off again and again.