Real Love

**"Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love." - 1 John 4:8

Florianópolis, May 21, 2020.

Giovanna Rinaldi

When my teachers asked questions like: "What religion are you? Or do you believe in God? My answer was always the same: yes, I believe in God and when I said I was Catholic, I heard that in Catholicism there aren't as many restrictions as in other religions, but that's not true, at least not when it comes to my family. The Rinaldi's are descended from Italians, and the bad tongues say that my family keeps big secrets. The Rinaldi's weren't always rich, it's an understatement for me to say that we're just rich, when the fortune we have would wipe out world hunger without too many worries, not much is known about where all this money came from, legend has it that my great-great-grandfather was a hitman who worked for people with a lot of money until he married his boss's daughter, Another crazy thing about my family is that marriages are arranged. I even thought that my father would do something different with me, after all, he always says that I'm his beloved little girl.

However, I was wrong, my arranged marriage will be in four months' time with a guy I've never seen and after the wedding I'll go back to live in Italy with my husband.

My best friends, Ana and Elisa Fiore, the twins with Italian ancestry, gave me the option of running away, but that would never be possible. My father, knowing my aversion to arranged marriages, tried to put some security guards on my tail, he knows the daughter he has and he knows that any opportunity to run away from this, I would do, even if the chance was minimal, so my only way out was to accept this marriage.

Tonight is the engagement dinner, and I'm not going to deny that I'm rather curious to meet my fiancé, Lorenzo Bianchi.

• Giovanna, lunch will be served, your family is waiting for you.

• Thanks Lupita, I'll be right down - I said to Mariam's assistant, who agreed and left my room, finished putting on my earrings and headed for the dining room, where they were waiting for me.

As soon as I arrived everyone looked at me, it was nice to see my family all together, the house was full and I loved it, I was only missing the little people I love most in the world, my nephews. At the table are my parents, Antonella and Romeo, my brothers and their wives, Ettore and Bianca, Renzo and Elena and my youngest brother, Pietro, I sat next to him, Bianca and Elena are Italian like us, but born and raised here in Brazil, unlike Ettore, Renzo and I, except for Pietro, who was born when we were already living in Fortaleza, Pietro is sixteen, he was adopted by my parents when he was five, Pietro is the son of my father's sister, she ended up getting pregnant before she was married and my grandfather threw her out of the house, it was chaos.

• Are you looking forward to tonight, Gio? - Elena, my sister-in-law asked me extremely happy, Elena had a strange thing, she always does everything to look like the happiest person in the world, but there is a certain sadness in her eternal happiness.

• No, I'm not. Elena, I'm being forced into this. - I say

• Darling, are you tired of knowing that in our family marriages are like this, your brothers are happy because you think you won't be happy either? - Antonella Rinaldi calling me darling is disgusting, she shouldn't even be considered a mother, at least not mine.

• Mom, in case you've forgotten, I'm only 23, with my whole life ahead of me, I have dreams to fulfill, but my own family made a point of slaughtering them the first chance they got. - I say calling her Mom, I know how to get on her nerves, Antonella laughs ironically.

• Daughter, you can still make your dreams come true, the only difference is that you'll be married. - My father says smiling.

• Dad, don't give me that, don't talk as if I'm going to live in a fairy tale. - I said in a bitter tone

• Have more respect for me, Giovanna, I'm your father and you're a family girl, that's not the vocabulary of a classy girl like you. - Dad and his elitist speeches.

• You've spoiled this Romeo girl too much, now she thinks she can do whatever she wants. - Here's the real Antonella, it's no secret to the family that my mother and I don't get along.

• She's my only daughter Antonella, you shouldn't expect anything less from me, you shouldn't blame her for what happened, Giovanna wasn't to blame, it was a fatality. Ten years have passed, you should thank God that one of your daughters is alive. - My father said and she looked at him indignantly.

• I've lost my hunger! - she loved these little games to get attention, Antonella loved blaming me for something that had no place in her head. She left the table and silence reigned.

My story is a bit tragic, for years I blamed myself for what had happened to Giulia, my twin sister, who died at the age of nine. We were in the car with Antonella at a dangerous crossroads, Dad didn't like her taking that route, but according to Antonella it was the quickest way to get home, when a truck hit the driver's side, which was where Giulia was sitting, our car overturned a few times, she was in a coma for two weeks and then died, I broke my leg, an arm, I broke my leg, an arm, some ribs and also in the accident an iron bar went into my belly, nobody could explain where these iron bars came from, I was lucky, it could have caused some damage to my organs, I have a "beautiful" memory of that accident, I got a huge scar on my belly, I miss my sister terribly, she protected me from our mother, after she left I started to suffer from her cruelties. Antonella blames me for the accident, she insists that I'm to blame for all the bad things that have happened and are happening in her life, that's a fine example of a mother, isn't it?